Plain Sailing Therapies

18/07/2025

17/07/2025

Find your happy….what does this mean?

For me, it is a state of authenticity, a peace that comes with feeling and being the real you. This only comes with self-awareness, acceptance of our innate traits, and understanding how we have adapted to reflect things that we have experienced over the years.

It is being able to live in the present, understanding what we need to experience real joy, where our environments (physically, socially, emotionally and psychologically) align to enable us to identify this feeling. This focuses our attention on the things that really matter, the things that we actually have control over, and what we need to feel fulfilled.

Total transparency, feeling grateful and happy in our own skin, and being clear about our needs, based on our make-up, beliefs and values is the basis of finding our happy.

See link in bio for my self-awareness resources if you need help in this area.

16/07/2025

All highly sensitive people are empaths, and vice-versa.

Highly sensitive people process more information about the world around them, and a larger percentage of HSPs are introverted.

Empaths pick up on subtle social and emotional cues and internalise them, an unconscious process that is often beyond their control. They are more likely to be introverted.

A person can possess all 3 of these traits, which manifests in incredibly caring, selfless, and understanding behaviours. These qualities are extremely attractive in an individual, but the downside is that they are often taken advantage of because they struggle to set boundaries, mainly because they don't like upsetting others.

Knowing ourselves, our traits and behaviours creates a greater understanding of our interactions and communications in the relationships that we hold, especially in the way that we attach to others.

15/07/2025

Whilst being a highly sensitive person is ordinarily associated with negative connotations, there are plenty of valuable qualities that people with this personality trait possess.

The challenge comes with recognising, and controlling the anxiety and overwhelm that often comes with being a highly sensitive person in order to be able to maximise these qualities, such as:

- Being highly attuned to the needs of others. HSPs are empaths and vice-versa.
- Being trusted by peers and colleagues due to their honesty and conscientiousness
- Being highly attuned to little details that others may miss.
- Being creative and appreciating things on a deeper level
- Being insightful to their own mental and emotional processes.
- Feeling more connected to the world around them.

It really is a gift, but realising this needs appreciation of this innate trait, why we have it, and how to manage it to effect our potential.

If this is a concern for you, I can help.

14/07/2025

A highly sensitive person (HSP) has an increased, or deeper central nervous system sensitivity to physical, emotional or social stimuli. It can also be referred to as sensory processing sensitivity.

Whilst highly sensitive people are sometimes negatively described as being "too sensitive", it is a personality trait that brings both strengths and challenges - it does involve increased responsiveness to both positive and negative influences.

The causes depend on a variety of factors such as evolution, environment, genetics, and early childhood experiences.

These often manifest in these sort of behaviours:

-Being overwhelmed by sensory stimuli like noisy crowds, bright lights or uncomfortable clothing
- Feeling a need to withdraw to a dark, quiet room, particularly after a stressful day
- Being deeply moved by beauty, either in art, nature, or human spirit
- Avoiding violent films or media
- Having a rich and complex life, complete with deep thoughts and feelings that go with them.

I'll be exploring the pros and cons of being a HSP this week, how to reduce associated anxiety that comes with having this personality trait, and how to maximise the benefits as well - some 20% of us fall in to this category, so awareness either of ourselves, or those close to us, can only enhance our relationships.

11/07/2025

Empathy allows us to form bonds with others and have awareness beyond our individual perspective.

Co-dependency can often be confused as empathy. However, the difference is: Those who are co-dependent lack a sense of authentic self - how we think about ourselves, which is a source of self-esteem.

Co-dependency is a learned behaviour that begins in childhood, where there's a lack of boundaries within our family dynamic. We learn as children that in order to receive love, we have to be hypervigilant to the emotional state of others around us. Our focus is placed outside of ourselves to get approval, because as children, love means survival.

With empathy, we understand that people's emotional state and behaviour is not something to take personally, change or fix. How people respond to us is not an indication of who we are. Our sense of self is not defined by those around us, which allows us to follow our unique journey, even if that means being misunderstood.

We have been conditioned into believing that empathy means not having boundaries, sacrificing ourselves, and people-pleasing - this does mean that if these are learned responses, we can also unlearn them.

True empathy means having clear boundaries around what we will and will not accept. It allows us to understand why someone does something while also holding people accountable for their behaviour.

Empathy allows us to understand that everyone has their own version of truth, and it is not our place to enforce that truth on those around us.

If you are struggling with co-dependency in your relationships, I can assist in helping you to develop healthy empathy that serves to strengthen your relationships all round. Get in touch for a free half hour consultation.

10/07/2025

08/07/2025

Co-dependency is more often than not rooted in adverse experiences in the early years, the result of which is low self-esteem, and the inability to feel worthy in relationships.

In adulthood, this may manifest in a strong desire to feel validated by prioritising the needs of others, whilst neglecting our own.

This excessive emotional or psychological reliance on another person makes us susceptible to manipulation or even abuse by others. Sadly, when this happens, it further reinforces those early established feelings of low self-worth, and the cycle continues as we believe that we must try harder to gain approval.

It does require very specific therapy to transform these harmful perceptions, which affect all of our interpersonal relationships.

I am witnessing huge, life-changing success stories with clients who have recognised their need to establish and be able to maintain a healthy sense of self, and in turn, create solid, meaningful and valuable relationships with others.

07/07/2025

Co-dependency in relationships is characterised by dysfunctional patterns where two people are reliant on each other to meet their mental, emotional, physical or spiritual needs. This can be observed in family, friendship, or romantic relationships.

A person who is co-dependent might plan their entire life around pleasing the other person, who needs to be needed, or to feel in control.

Essentially, both individuals suffer from low self esteem and are afraid of rejection and abandonment.

Co-dependency is a personality trait, rather than a disorder. The issues arise when a co-dependent person is attracted to a narcissist, who is reliant on other people to validate their existence, but with entirely different intentions.

04/07/2025

03/07/2025

By understanding that people pleasing is a trauma response, we can consciously consider situations in which we can make significant changes to our management of those responses.

Over time, we realise that by doing the following things, we can view ourselves differently, and present with greater self-esteem and self-assuredness.

- Learn to ask for help and accept it
- Accept and realise that our needs are valid and real
- Learn the voice of compassionate accountability and how to use it.
- Become comfortable identifying and sharing our feelings
- View conflict as a normal part of life
- Allow significant people in our lives to get closer to us

Whilst these actions may feel totally foreign at first, taking small steps consistently brings life long emotional security.. Happy to help if you are struggling in this particular area.