Plain Sailing Therapies

16/01/2026

15/01/2026

It is the long term affects of Narcissistic parenting that is of most concern.

Narcissistic parents will often abuse the normal parental role of guiding their children and being the primary decision-maker in their child's life, becoming overly possessive and controlling. This possessiveness and excessive control disempower the child; the parent sees the child as an extension of themselves. Long term, this may affect the child's level of curiosity, and they often develop an extrinsic level of motivation.

Narcissistic parents are volatile and quick to anger, putting their children at risk for physical and emotional abuse. To avoid this, children of abusive parents often resort to complying with their parent's every demand. This affects both the child's well-being and their ability to make logical decisions on their own. As adults they often lack self-confidence and the ability to gain control over their life. Identity crisis, loneliness, and self-expression are also commonly seen in children raised by a Narcissistic parent.

In most cases, the Narcissistic parent will select one child in the family to be the Golden Child, and another to be the Scapegoat. The Golden Child lives vicariously through the abusive parent and as a result, may not develop a healthy sense of self and struggle to set boundaries. Scapegoats on the other hand become the receptacle for all the negative emotions of the Narcissistic parent, who blames them for everything that goes wrong in the relationship or family.

This treatment impacts the children far into adulthood. Many need the approval or affirmation of others to feel competent or deserving, and often feel that their sense of self depends entirely on how "successful" they perceive themselves to be in terms of their appearance, social life, academic or professional accomplishments.

Breaking this cycle is crucial to prevent Narcissism playing out intergenerationally.

14/01/2026

Effective parenting requires a large dose of selflessness. It is often a thankless and highly demanding role, particularly in the early years. It requires the very mentality that a Narcissist lacks.

A Narcissist needs constant praise, a need which is unlikely to be satisfied by their child or children. This often leads to resentment and emotional neglect.

Narcissistic parents tend to see the world in a binary way - something (or someone) is either wonderful or worthless, and unfortunately they put their children into these categories too.

A young child who has the natural drive to please their parent and stay in the "wonderful" category may learn to overlook the snide remarks, neglect and emotional abuse and in so doing, provide the continuous feedback that their parent needs. They may let their parent control their lives just to avoid friction or conflict.
Pleasing their parent becomes more than a natural instinct, it's a survival skill that they learn at an early age to ensure that life is harmonious.

Narcissistic parents view their children as an extension of themselves, as well as an opportunity for self-advancement. They therefore have very high expectations of their children, placing high value on success.

Some children never learn to break the cycle of catering to their parents needs for control and validation, even into adulthood. For those who do, they are very soon relegated to the "worthless" category, and the parent withdraws their affection and disconnects from them.

It is this disconnection that is most damaging in later life. It is extremely difficult to form secure attachments without unconditional love, approval, consistency and availability. Early bonds with primary caregivers directly impact how we cope with stress, how we view ourselves, and most importantly, how we relate to others.

If this is something that you may need to get your head around, I can help.

13/01/2026

From chaos to clarity..
If you’ve been caught in a cycle of confusion, self-doubt, and emotional exhaustion, you’re not broken, you’ve been surviving a trauma bond.

My 8-week Narcissist-Proof programme is designed to help you:
✨ Break free from narcissistic abuse.
✨ Understand trauma bonding.
✨ Rebuild boundaries, confidence, and self-trust.
✨ Reclaim your power, for good.

You don’t have to keep repeating the same patterns. Healing is possible, and you don’t have to do it alone.

📞 Book a free discovery call today
📧 karen@plainsailingtherapies.co.uk


from chaos to clarity reclaim your power boundaries self worth trauma recovery

13/01/2026

It is important to understand that Narcissists are created, not born into society, and they exist in families. They make dreadful, dangerous and traumatising parents, but that doesn't stop them having children. They can be very covert in their behaviours, often being quite skilled at concealing their cruelty, whilst portraying virtue to outsiders. In so doing, they can inadvertently pass on some good qualities with the bad. It is a case of being able to recognise these in the correct context.

They undermine their children in a multitude of ways by:

- Rewarding punishment and punishing dissent
- Devaluing their interests and strengths
- Resenting normal dependency needs
- Normalising rage and shame
- Playing favourites and scapegoats
- Alienating relationships with other family members
- Parentifying and adultifying them
- Abandoning them in times of need
- Neglecting to teach them life skills
- Financial manipulation

All of these are employed to mask the Narcissistic parents jealousy, lack of empathy, selfish opportunism and superiority complex.

It is virtually impossible to change the Narcissistic parent. It is vital that we educate children about this personality disorder, trauma, and provide them with the emotional literacy to be able to help themselves, and to break the cycle for the next generation.

12/01/2026

The family dynamics with a Narcissist are characterised by the roles assigned to each member, all of which are specifically designed to generate supply for this person.

The dynamic involves a set of rules that are established through certain manipulative behaviours, all centred around fulfilling this person's needs. This usually means that the needs of everyone else are overlooked.

These dynamics are extremely harmful for any family members involved, regardless of their position or "role" in the family system.

Unhealthy communication, poor boundaries, and a need for control are some of the clear signs that a family is being governed by these maladaptive behaviours.

08/01/2026

Living with intention means living a better balanced life that is full of meaning and purpose.

It means that the activities that we engage in are worthwhile to us and enable focus on authenticity.

Intentionality helps us understand the importance and purpose of our bigger vision, by directing our minds and actions to achieving that vision.

When we set an intention, it provides accountability, allowing us to take control of our personal choices and lives. It's about being proactive in our own lives, by purposefully choosing how we want to live it.

Let's make 2026 a year of living with intention.

I devise tailor made programmes to help you do just this - get in touch for free, no obligation conversation about how I can help you.

07/01/2026

I love this analogy! It takes purposeful work, and the implementation preventative measures, to keep on top of our gardens...weed out anything that kills our intention to bloom and grow, and provide a healthy environment for visitors to take what they need, so that they too can prosper and flourish.

06/01/2026

An amazing thing happens when we're honest with ourselves and start doing what we love, what makes us happy.

Our lives slow down.
We stop wishing for the weekend.
We stop merely looking forward to special events.
We begin to live each moment.
We ride the wave that is life with a feeling of peace and contentment.
We move more fluidly, steadily, calmly and gratefully.
We view things from an entirely different perspective.

So, make your intentions clear, to yourself and others. Be open, be honest, be transparent.

05/01/2026

Living with intention means living a better balanced life that is full of meaning and purpose.

It means that the activities that we engage in are worthwhile to us and enable focus on authenticity.

Intentionality helps us understand the importance and purpose of our bigger vision, by directing our minds and actions to achieving that vision.

When we set an intention, it provides accountability, allowing us to take control of our personal choices and lives. It's about being proactive in our own lives, by purposefully choosing how we want to live it.

Let's make 2026 a year of living with intention.

02/01/2026

Carry this with you into 2026.

- Focus only on changing the things that you can
- Wherever your attention goes, your energy flows
- Let go of people or situations that drain you
- Sometimes you need to be uncomfortable, to get comfortable
- Realise that everything is temporary
- Do more of the things you love, whatever that is
- Prioritise quiet time to re-connect with yourself
- Changing your mindset, will change your life

Wishing you a happy, healthy and peaceful transition into the new year.

01/01/2026

Wishing all my clients, past and present a delightful year ahead. One in which you can be truly you..