Relational Best with Amanda Williamson - Therapeutic Coaching

11/11/2025

I went to a gig at on Friday night. This was the third time I’ve seen live and I thought I’d try my hand at writing a review of the experience.

BC Camplight (Brian Cristinzio) sings (and speaks) about his ongoing struggles with severe depression, anxiety and addiction, with honesty, humility and humour. LInk in bio

30/09/2025

Last Friday, I shared a post about a protest march in Exeter. I posted it here, Instagram and Linkedin. It was written from a place of fear and concern about the rise of scapegoating and division in our communities. Since then, I’ve received a flood of comments; many incredibly supportive, some challenging, and some openly hostile.

Some comments were personal attacks:

“She needs to get a proper job as do those who agree with her stupid post”
“This is rubbish and has no place here”
“Grow up Amanda”
“‘Gripped with fear’ — how ridiculous”
“Silly woman, go and live in China”

While unpleasant, these showed me just how raw and polarised our public conversations have become.

More importantly, some people raised thoughtful critiques, for example:

“By broad-brush labelling and circulating photos of strangers online, aren’t you in danger of contributing to the very scapegoating and hostility you say you want to stop?”

That was hard to hear, but, they’re right. In speaking from fear, my language became “othering” which is exactly the dynamic I am most worried about.

William Galston has recently written about how politics is often driven by “dark passions” such as fear, anger, resentment, which are powerful but divisive. I can see how my post, even if well-intentioned, tapped into those currents.

But Galston also reminds us of “bright passions” such as hope, solidarity, empathy and moral courage. Leaders like Abraham Lincoln and Martin Luther King Jr. drew on these brighter energies, showing that it’s possible to face conflict and injustice without fuelling further division. Something to aspire to.

I don’t regret speaking out about racism and division as silence isn’t an option for me. But I do regret the way I did it, because it risked fuelling the very patterns I want to challenge.

So here’s what I plan to take forward:

- To notice when fear is shaping my voice
- To pause and choose language that invites understanding, not more division
- To lean into the bright passions and remind myself of our shared humanity

I’m grateful to those who engaged in the spirit of civil discourse. You’ve helped me learn.

30/07/2025

🤖Anyone remember the SouthPark Episode FunnyBot?

In this piece I share concern about the direction artificial intelligence is taking and what it could mean for human connection and choice.

Drawing on philosophy and humanistic psychology, I explore how AI risks reducing rich relationships to cold exchanges unless kindness is part of it's design.

We need to call for ethical leadership from those who build, regulate, and use AI, stressing the need for clarity, fairness, and respect for human dignity. Without this, AI risks increasing division, isolation, and loss of trust.

This is not a rejection of technology but a call to steer it by values that hold society together; kindness and compassion as the root of ethics and civilisation.

https://www.relationalbest.co.uk/2025/07/a-statement-on-need-for-compassion-in-ai.html

21/05/2025

Over ten years ago, I wrote a blog post about transphobia.

It was my way of processing what I was seeing on social media and especially the abuse directed at trans people. I was also trying to raise awareness of how cis privilege, including my own, plays into that harm.

The issue of gender inclusion has been close to me since childhood, when I watched a groundbreaking documentary on a transitioning woman. Even then, something clicked. I didn’t know the word cis yet, but I felt the deep injustice of someone having to fight to be seen as who they are.

That awareness stayed with me. I’ve been privileged to work with many trans and gender-fluid clients in my therapy practice over the past 15 years. I think I see more trans identifying individuals than the average practitioner because I state clearly on my website that I offer a safe space. Apparently, that’s still rare.

In 2014, I began publicly identifying as a trans ally, and shared my thoughts in a blog post, which you can still read here: http://www.amandawilliamsoncounselling.co.uk/2014/09/transphobia-cyber-hug.html?m=1

Since then, the world has shifted and so has my life. My daughter came out as trans in 2018. My advocacy now comes with a strong dose of Mama Bear.

More recently, her close friend, a young trans woman, was attacked, unprovoked. The bus driver kindly took her to hospital. She came to stay with us afterward. I saw the bruises. She handled it with grace and stoicism, but the reality of the risks faced by trans people every day was right there in our kitchen.

I’m sharing this not to be divisive, but to offer perspective. I know I don’t speak for all, but this has always been personal for me; emotionally and professionally.

We live in a world where inclusion still isn’t a given. Being a visible ally still matters.

To anyone on their own journey of understanding gender and inclusion - thank you for staying open.

And to the trans and non-binary community: I see you, I believe you, and I stand with you.

To anyone who wishes to inflict harm on non gender conforming individuals:

You. Will. Have. To. Come. Through. Me.

Details on the BBC documentary, first aired in 1979, can be found here https://www.bbc.co.uk/mediacentre/2021/a-change-of-sex

The ground-breaking five-part series followed Julia Grant’s transition, and was broadcast between 1979 and 1999

12/05/2025

👊 Show up - stand proud

🌈 🌈

What a fantastic day celebrating and standing in solidarity with our LGBTQI+ community, especially our trans siblings. It’s so important that cisgender allies show up and make our support visible.

The atmosphere was full of warmth, joy, and community spirit - an inspiring antidote to the noise of hate and misinformation that’s been circulating. It’s deeply worrying how much of that rhetoric gains traction, but days like today remind us of the power of love, visibility, and allyship.

Celebrated with friends, family, and colleagues. Here I am with my brilliant friend and colleague Harry at the march.

10/04/2025

A glorious day to spend my lunch hour reading this spanking new book

09/04/2025

🧘‍♀️ New blog post: The Yogic Gunas, Attachment Styles and Pete Walker’s 4 F’s

https://www.relationalbest.co.uk/2025/04/the-yogic-gunas-attachment-styles-and.html

In my latest piece I share a personal and professional reflection on how yogic philosophy, here the concepts of the gunas, offers a rich and compassionate language for understanding inter-relational defense mechanisms and attachment dynamics.

Rather than pathologising human behaviour, yogic wisdom invites us to notice 3 energy states:

🌑 Tamas - shutdown, freeze, fog
🔥 Rajas - anxiety, urgency, people-pleasing
🌕 Sattva - clarity, calm, connectedness

These ancient teachings mirror much of what we understand in modern psychology, and I find them a helpful underpinning in elements of my trauma-informed therapeutic coaching.

If you’re curious about reading more of my reflections of the intersections of Eastern wisdom and relational healing, I’d love you to read it.

09/04/2025

🧘‍♀️ New blog post: The Yogic Gunas, Attachment Styles and Pete Walker’s 4 F’s

https://www.relationalbest.co.uk/2025/04/the-yogic-gunas-attachment-styles-and.html

In my latest piece I share a personal and professional reflection on how yogic philosophy, here the concepts of the gunas, offers a rich and compassionate language for understanding inter-relational defense mechanisms and attachment dynamics.

Rather than pathologising human behaviour, yogic wisdom invites us to notice 3 energy states:

🌑 Tamas - shutdown, freeze, fog
🔥 Rajas - anxiety, urgency, people-pleasing
🌕 Sattva - clarity, calm, connectedness

These ancient teachings mirror much of what we understand in modern psychology, and I find them a helpful underpinning in elements of my trauma-informed therapeutic coaching.

If you're curious about reading more of my reflections of the intersections of Eastern wisdom and relational healing, I'd love you to read it.

26/02/2025

🧘‍♂️ Yoga, Mid Century Psychology, and the Nature of Thought: Exploring the Yoga Sutras & REBT 🧠

Last November, a friend and I created our own 7 day DIY yoga retreat in Morocco. It was a deep dive into yoga philosophy and practice. Between three hour daily yoga sessions and discussion we immersed ourselves in the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, focusing on the five Vrittis, the mental fluctuations that shape our perception and suffering.

These conversations have stayed with us, continuing to inform our regular sea swims and reflective walks. Following that, an intriguing idea emerged. Dweeb that I am, I have been musing on the parallels between the Yoga Sutra Vrittis and Albert Ellis' Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT); a cognitive approach to therapy and coaching that predates Beck's CBT by a decade.

Both Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras, in particular the five Vrittis, and REBT recognise that our thoughts shape our emotional experience.

For example:

- Viparyaya (Misperception) aligns with REBT’s thinking distortions, like catastrophising and overgeneralisation.
- Vikalpa (Imagination) relates to REBT’s anxious “what if” thoughts, where fears become exaggerated beyond reality.
- Smriti (Memory) mirrors REBT’s deep-seated core beliefs, the narratives we carry from our past that influence how we see ourselves and the world.

Ancient Eastern Philosophy meets Mid Twentieth Century Psychology.

As someone who has practiced yoga for many years and used REBT in coaching and therapy for over a decade, I find immense value in both frameworks. Yoga teaches us to observe and detach from our thoughts, while REBT gives us tools to challenge and reframe unhelpful beliefs.

Whether through ancient philosophy or modern psychology, both paths guide us toward greater self-awareness, emotional resilience, and freedom from mental suffering.

What practices or philosophies have helped you navigate your own thought patterns?

Read more here

Life coach, coaching, personal consultancy, in Exeter and online with Amanda Williamson Reg MBACP (Snr Accred) EMCC Accredited Coaching Practitioner