Sarah West I Certified ADHD Coach

13/09/2025

The grief that often follows an ADHD diagnosis

Finally receiving my ADHD diagnosis brought an enormous sense of relief. Things began to make sense. I finally had an explanation for why I'd struggled for decades, and it felt as though life might at last begin moving forward.

But in reality, that sense of clarity was short-lived.

For me, and for so many others in a similar position, what followed was grief and anger:

-For the years spent feeling “different” without knowing why.
-For the opportunities missed.
-For the times our struggles were attributed to other conditions, such as anxiety or depression (both of which commonly co-exist with ADHD and other forms of neurodivergence).
-For the wasted years in therapies and treatments that were not neuro-affirming and therefore less effective, when ADHD was the missing piece all along.

Looking back can be painful. Many of us wonder what life might have looked like if we had understood ourselves sooner. It can feel heart-breaking, and it is a very real part of coming to terms with an ADHD diagnosis.

With time, this grief does begin to soften. Slowly, the focus shifts from what could have been to what can be. We start to build self-knowledge, develop self-compassion, and move forward with greater clarity.

Grief is often part of the journey, but with the right support and strategies, it is possible to move from looking back with pain to looking ahead with hope.

Has this affected you on your ADHD journey? I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments.

08/09/2025

Why do we doubt our ADHD diagnosis, even after waiting years to get it?

So many of us who are late diagnosed with ADHD spend years researching, reading books, listening to podcasts, and joining the dots. By the time we get to an assessment, it’s been a long journey and is rarely an overnight decision (would you wait years on waiting lists just to be part of a ‘trend’??)

Yet even after receiving a formal diagnosis, it still took me months of thinking that maybe my assessor had got it wrong and I really didn’t have ADHD.

This self-doubt is incredibly common. It comes from years of being misdiagnosed, misunderstood, and told different stories by others about who we are.

It’s reinforced by masking, internalised stigma, and the fact that ADHD often doesn’t look like the stereotype we’ve been shown (of the hyperactive little boy who is bouncing off the walls in class). Add in perfectionism, imposter syndrome and rejection sensitivity, and it’s no surprise we question ourselves.

A diagnosis opens the door to understanding, but believing it, but really letting it settle in our hearts as well as our heads can take much longer.

The challenge now is learning to trust what we’ve been told, to embrace the diagnosis, and to allow ourselves to believe in who we are.

After years of being made to feel that we were getting things wrong, this is the moment we can finally begin to get things right by owning our ADHD and moving forward with self-compassion and kindness.

21/08/2025

Some exciting news to share…

Through my work with ADHD UK, I’ve been chosen as one of the new ADHD Champions for the UK Parliament!

This brilliant initiative aims to make Parliament more accessible and ADHD-friendly for everyone, whether you're attending a committee, visiting your MP, contributing to parliamentary work, or just going on a tour.

As part of the programme, I’ll be heading to the Palace of Westminster in the near future to join other Champions in sharing ideas and lived experiences to help shape this work. The goal is to make accessibility the standard, not something people have to ask for.

This is a politically neutral initiative and runs alongside the Autistic Champions programme, all focused on making UK Parliament more inclusive for neurodivergent visitors.

It feels like a really positive step forward and I’m so proud to be part of it.

20/08/2025

Last week I had the privilege of speaking at the Beautiful Days Festival about ADHD.

I shared what ADHD is (and what it isn’t), how it can present across the lifespan, and addressed some of the common myths and misconceptions. I also discussed the role of hormones in ADHD, its impact on daily life, and some practical strategies for challenges such as time management, emotional regulation, and self-advocacy.

One of the best parts of speaking at live events is the interactive Q&A. Being able to connect with people, hear their experiences, and answer their questions always makes the session richer and more meaningful.

Thank you to everyone who came along and contributed, your questions and insights made it a brilliant conversation.

24/07/2025

Summer holidays are not always a break, especially when you are a neurodivergent parent raising neurodivergent children.

There can be so much pressure to ‘make memories’, fill every day with activities, and keep everyone entertained. Social media does not help, with endless pictures of perfect outings and smiling families that can leave us feeling like we are falling short.

For many of us, the loss of routine in the school holidays is tough. Executive functioning demands ramp up, emotional regulation becomes harder, and sensory overload is constant.

Travel, noise, heat, crowds, and busy days out all add up, and some days feel like survival mode.

The truth is, maybe we don’t always need more stimulation. Often, we need less. Slower, quieter days. Time to rest and reset. And that is more than OK.

Neurodivergent families are often managing decision fatigue, social exhaustion, and emotional overwhelm. Doing less gives us a chance to regulate and recharge. And when we feel more settled, our children often do too.

My own children often ask to stay home and do nothing, and they regularly thank me for it. Screens, odd snacks, and long mornings in pyjamas are not signs of failure, they can be that essential downtime for all of the family.

We have this ideal in our heads that summer has to be magical, and sometimes we need reminding that it's ok if it's just manageable.

And you, doing your best with what you have, are more than enough.

I’d love to hear how you find managing school holidays in the comments below.

15/07/2025

New podcast episode out now!

I had the absolute pleasure of joining Liz Evans - The Untypical OT at The Untypical Parent™ Podcast to talk about what really happens when ADHD, perimenopause, parenting, and caring responsibilities all collide.

We covered:
-The overlooked connection between hormones and ADHD symptoms
-Why perimenopause can make ADHD even harder to manage
-The emotional and mental load of parenting while neurodivergent
-How it feels to be dismissed by professionals—and why pushing back matters
-The importance of honest conversations with our kids
-Why your usual ADHD strategies might suddenly stop working
-What makes good ADHD coaching, and why credentials matter

It was a raw, honest chat about the invisible struggles many of us face, especially those navigating ADHD and the perimenopause while raising neurodivergent children.

🎧 Listen here: https://untypicalparentpodcast.buzzsprout.com
📺 Or watch on YouTube: www.youtube.com/-TheUntypicalOT

10/07/2025

I love the hot weather… until my eyes start itching...

Could histamines be making your ADHD symptoms worse, especially during perimenopause?

I’ve had hay fever since I was young, and it’s honestly a pain. Itchy eyes, runny nose, sneezing, and that “please replace my head” feeling.

But histamine might be doing more than just triggering allergy symptoms. It also plays a role in:
Sleep
Mood
Focus
Gut health
Hormonal balance

During perimenopause, fluctuating oestrogen can reduce the body’s ability to break down histamine, which may lead to a build-up (Briden, 2020; Zakaria, 2023).

This build-up can worsen ADHD symptoms such as:
Brain fog
Anxiety or irritability
Sleep disruption
Digestive issues
Sensory overload or skin reactions

Emerging research shows histamine may directly influence attention and hyperactivity (An et al., 2025).

People with ADHD are also more likely to show increased mast cell activity and neuroinflammation, both linked to histamine levels (Shirasaka et al., 2020), and some may also have genetic differences in the enzymes that break histamine down, which can affect mood, energy, and focus (Duelo, 2022).

If your ADHD symptoms feel more intense during perimenopause or you’ve noticed increased reactivity to food, hormones, or weather, histamine could be part of the picture.

Just another reminder that ADHD isn’t only about attention. It’s about how our whole body works together.

Have you noticed a link between allergies and ADHD?



References
An, D., Chen, H., Lin, J. and Zhang, Y. (2025) ‘Histamine H2 receptor deficiency causes hyperactivity and inattention in mice: Implications for ADHD’, Neuron, 113(6), pp. 1054–1068. Available at: https://doi.org/10.1016/j.neuron.2024.06.004

Briden, L. (2020) High histamine can make for a tougher perimenopause. Lara Briden’s Healthy Hormone Blog. Available at: https://www.larabriden.com/high-histamine-can-make-for-a-tougher-perimenopause/ (Accessed: 9 July 2025)

Duelo, A. (2022) DAO enzyme and ADHD: Histamine’s hidden role in executive dysfunction. Available at: https://www.adrianaduelo.com/en/dao_adhd_histamine (Accessed: 9 July 2025)

Shirasaka, Y., Sato, A., Takahashi, T. and Nakamura, M. (2020) ‘Neuroinflammation and mast cell activation in neurodevelopmental disorders’, Experimental and Therapeutic Medicine, 20(2), pp. 1255–1262. Available at: https://doi.org/10.3892/etm.2020.8807

Zakaria, L. (2023) Hormones and histamine intolerance: What you need to know. Lara Zakaria. Available at: https://larazakaria.com/hormones-and-histamine-intolerant/ (Accessed: 9 July 2025)

08/07/2025

Why quitting can be for winners

There was a poster on my school wall that said, “A winner never quits and a quitter never wins.”

I took that message to heart for years… but life has shown me that it’s not always true.

After over 20 years working as a nurse in the NHS, a job I loved, but one that was often demanding, I knew deep down it was time for a change.

Walking away wasn’t easy. I’d spent years building that career. But stepping back gave me space to breathe, reflect, and start thinking about what I actually needed and wanted for me at that moment.

And here’s the thing I’ve learned: sometimes, quitting really is the right choice.

When you’re neurodivergent, change can feel overwhelming. If you have ADHD, you might have spent years feeling like you don’t quite fit. That you’re either too much, or not enough. And those messages stick. They chip away at your confidence and self-trust.

But you are enough. Just as you are.

I didn’t figure it all out on my own. I had support from friends, family, and my own ADHD coach, and that made all the difference.

So if you’re feeling stuck, unsure, or just worn out… maybe it’s time to ask yourself what life could look like if you made a change.

What would you do if you believed it was possible?

Because sometimes, knowing when to quit is actually the moment you start to win.

06/07/2025

ADHD is an explanation, not an excuse

Ever missed a bill, forgotten a deadline, or overlooked something important, only to feel a wave of guilt, shame, or frustration?

That’s a familiar story for many of us with ADHD.

So often it’s not about carelessness, laziness, or avoidance. It’s often due to the way ADHD affects executive functioning and the brain’s ability to prioritise, plan, and follow through on tasks.

Time blindness, emotional dysregulation, and overwhelm can turn even simple tasks into major hurdles.

And while ADHD can help explain why some things are difficult, it’s never an excuse for poor behaviour.

It doesn’t mean hurting others, ignoring commitments, or avoiding responsibility.

Understanding your ADHD allows you to name what’s hard, not to blame yourself, but to take ownership and find better ways forward.

That might mean leaning on structure, reminders, support, and, crucially, self-compassion.

Does this resonate with you? How do you support yourself when executive function challenges get in the way?

02/07/2025

Women with ADHD are frequently misdiagnosed or overlooked, especially during perimenopause when hormonal changes can mask, mimic, or magnify ADHD symptoms.

Join me today for my monthly live webinar for ADHD UK where I’ll be exploring:

-Why more women are only now discovering they may have ADHD

-How to tell the difference between perimenopause and ADHD – and where they overlap

-The impact on our work, family, friendships, and relationships

-Why ADHD symptoms often worsen during perimenopause

-The role of hormones like oestrogen, progesterone and testosterone – and what happens when they drop

-Why supporting our hormones matters

-Strategies to help manage symptoms during this challenging stage of life

This is a supportive, informative space for any woman navigating ADHD, perimenopause, or both.

I hope to see you there!
Wednesday 2nd July 2025
12–1pm BST
Where: Online

Link in comments!

ADHD in women is frequently misunderstood and misdiagnosed, often mistaken for anxiety, depression or simply "not coping." Hormonal changes during

23/06/2025

When was the moment you realised you might have ADHD?

For many women, it wasn’t something picked up in childhood.

The signs were there, but the diagnostic criteria were based on how ADHD typically presents in boys. Girls often flew under the radar: daydreaming, masking, internalising, overachieving to cope.

It’s only in recent years, especially post-Covid , that we’ve seen a surge in women recognising themselves in ADHD traits. More awareness on social media, more conversations, more women joining the dots.

I often hear from women who noticed traits in their children first. They went down the rabbit hole of research to support their kids, only to realise: “Wait, this sounds like me too.”

Others came across a podcast, a post, a book that stopped them in their tracks. The sense of this explains everything can be overwhelming and liberating in equal measure.

The current diagnostic system still needs to catch up. We need a better understanding of how ADHD shows up in women and girls, and that's across the lifespan, not just in classrooms.

So I’m curious, when did you first start wondering if you might have ADHD and what made you start looking into it?

20/06/2025

“You can’t have ADHD or autism because…”

How many of these have you heard?

These are real things people have been told by healthcare professionals when they’ve asked for an ADHD or autism assessment:

“You make eye contact, so it can’t be autism.”

“You’ve done well in school, so you can’t have ADHD.”

“You’re too organised.”

“You’re in a relationship, so you must understand social rules.”

“You’re not hyperactive.”

“You’re friendly and talkative.”

“You have a job, so you’re managing fine.”

“You would’ve been picked up as a child if it were really there.”

There are sooooo many more of these to mention…….and none of them are accurate.

People are still being overlooked, dismissed, or misdiagnosed based on stereotypes about what ADHD and autism are supposed to look like. Whether you're quiet and withdrawn or sociable and articulate, that doesn't rule anything in, or out.

What we now understand is that ADHD and autism present differently across individuals.

Masking, compensation, and high achievement don’t cancel out neurodivergence. They often hide it, until burnout hits.

What we know now:
“Autistic people often camouflage their difficulties, making diagnosis more complex and leading to increased distress.”
(Hull et al., 2020)

“Many adults with ADHD remain undiagnosed due to high functioning, internalised symptoms, and adaptation strategies.”
(Young et al., 2020)

“Standardised diagnostic criteria can fail to capture the range of presentations seen in everyday clinical practice.”
(Lai & Szatmari, 2020)

This research makes it clear: ADHD and autism don’t look the same in everyone. While awareness is growing, it doesn’t always seem to be reaching the people who need it most, especially those in positions to assess, refer, or support. So many individuals are still being overlooked because they don’t fit outdated checklists or stereotypes.

What do you think needs to change? How can we help ensure that people are listened to, taken seriously, and offered the right support, even when their neurodivergence doesn’t present in obvious or expected ways?

References:
Hull, L., Mandy, W., Lai, M. C., et al. (2020). Development and validation of the Camouflaging Autistic Traits Questionnaire (CAT-Q). Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 50(3), 819–833.

Young, S., Adamo, N., Ásgeirsdóttir, B. B., et al. (2020). Females with ADHD: An expert consensus statement taking a lifespan approach. BMC Psychiatry, 20(1), 404. (Still relevant for men, as the study contrasts male and female presentations)

Lai, M. C., & Szatmari, P. (2020). S*x and gender impacts on the behavioural presentation and recognition of autism. Current Opinion in Psychiatry, 33(2), 117–123.