Rosie Johnson Illustrates

03/05/2026

Self indulgent personal post.

Yesterday I married my lovely for love (and tax purposes ❤️)

We’ve been together for 25 years and never really felt a strong desire to do the wedding thing, but a combo of Martin Lewis’s advice, our dear friend Karen’s unexpected death which jolted us into action and, frankly, just thinking it might be kind of nice- we did it!
It was just us and the children (our two together, my bonus son and his phenomenal girlfriend )
It turns out that county hall in Exeter is a surprisingly beautiful venue (given that it’s the cheapest) A Vinted frock and a delicious breakfast back at my folks’ house with them, my platter queen niece and her lovely boyfriend .armstrong_ it was the perfect day for us. I didn’t realise how much I’d love getting married!

Originally we were going to get hitched on the 9th of May but we changed the date because our son will be competing in the National Karate Championship in Nottingham- How committed to karate are we?!?! And does that count as a honeymoon?

Our wedding list is at John Lewis. You can find it here… ok obviously not. But you could always buy something nice for yourself from my website so I can save up for a wedding ring rather than a Haribo one. 🤞

❤️🥂❤️

27/04/2026

To paraphrase the National Rifle Association,
“G*ns don’t kill people, a lack of ballrooms does.”
There have already been at least 20 school shooting in the US in 2026 according to the G*n Violence Archive, Everytown and Education Week. Where are the calls for controls? I would never condone any attack, but how can billions on ballrooms to protect one be considered more important than investing to protect millions?
What happens in America directly affects the rest of the world, whether we like it or not. I wonder if King Prince Charles (as he shall be forever known by me) will mention it on his visit?

25/04/2026

Only because you (some of you) asked: there is HIGH HORSE MERCH!

Won’t lie, the shop has been reeeeeally quiet for the last few months so if any of this takes your fancy, I’d be thrilled.

Love how many of us will be gathered on that hill, prepared to do battle!

The t-shirt is via my Teemill store (link from my website) where you can also get an A3 version of the print.

13/04/2026

My friend was recently warned not to ‘get on her high horse’ before being subjected to a sexist and homophobic diatribe. When I heard about it, I immediately wanted to saddle up on the highest of horses and canter to the hill I will die on: that none of us are free until all of us are. Equality, equity and humanity are non-negotiable.

Come, my friends, let us mount our mighty steeds and charge up to that hill together.

And to the absolute twat-factories that keep spouting this BS: It’s not banter, it’s not acceptable, f**k all the way off and then a bit further with your casual bigotry. And before you start, yes you CAN say anything nowadays, as you’ve proved. But you might need to be prepared to face some very cross women on horseback.

07/04/2026

Did you see the megalomaniac in chief, the Misleader of the Free World, giving a rambling rant of a speech to an audience full of children about how he intends to destroy Iran’s infrastructure? All whilst stood next to a dude in an Easter Bunny costume on one side and Melania on the other- I actually don’t know who had a more fixed expression of dismay.

He is threatening complete and total destruction of a civilisation. Just to be clear, the things he is proposing are war crimes. For the good of LITERALLY EVERYONE he must be impeached and removed from office with immediate effect. He’s not fit to run an egg hunt.

Follow and .slp for compelling evidence of his frontotemporal dementia exacerbating his existing malignant narcissism.

01/04/2026

A bumper bunny package of 30+ Easter treats including
an outdoor scavenger hunt (which will work in a garden or local park) and
an indoor Easter hunt with rhyming clues,
templates for Easter baskets,
flags,
a jokes page
and a selection of the pictures painted for the pack,
There are colouring pages,
a mask,
an Easter card,
spot the difference,
a maze,
Easter crown pattern strips
and some themed letter templates.
There’s a full page of notes for grown ups too!

You can all that from my Ko-Fi shop- pay what you can or have it all for free. https://ko-fi.com/s/c1d88ca92c
Hoppy Easter. Why does it always bring out the worst of my pun nature?

31/03/2026

Today was a celebration of the life of a lovely friend, Karen who made everyone she knew feel uniquely appreciated by her. Who was endlessly generous with her time and support. Who had a wealth of talent but never made anyone else feel inferior. Who we will all miss so much because she is utterly irreplaceable. Hugest love to her wonderful husband Moose and sons Connor and Spencer and to everyone who knew and loved her. To all those who spoke at her service today- you did it beautifully, thank you so much. There will be a lot of ‘What Would Karen Do?’ conversations going forward. X

20/03/2026

Look, I know I try to sell you stuff, but I’m not going to pretend it’s better than sunshine, trees, going for a walk, being with your friends and family, birdsong or toast.

19/03/2026

Here’s some stuff that’s in stock if you fancy anything to brighten the apocalypse. Xx

It’s hard enough marketing at the best of times. I’m sorry to tell you this folks (looks around conspiratorially and lowers voice) these are not the best of times. That said, I thought I should mention that I make things and sell them so if you want to buy stuff from me, here’s a representative sample.

12/03/2026

… but instead the president of the United States is dancing away with Jake Paul, like he’s not a disgusting, war-mongering, consequence-evading, Epste!n- entangled, out of his depth, megalomaniac.

According to their own investigation, the US was responsible for the missile strike on an Iranian elementary school that killed over 160 people, mostly children.

10/03/2026

Proud to be sponsoring this event ❤️ 🥋

If you would like to sponsor an event, please contact the Southern Region KUGB page on any of the socials. Thank you ☺️