10/08/2021
Something that has come up frequently in my therapy sessions lately is setting boundaries.
What are boundaries?
A boundary is an imaginary line that separates me from you. It separates your physical space, your feelings, needs and responsibilities from others. Your boundaries also tell other people how they can treat you, what's acceptable and what isn't. Without boundaries, people may take advantage of you because you haven't set limits about how you expect to be treated.
Why do you need boundaries?
1. Boundaries allow you to be your true self.
2. Boundaries are a form of self-care.
3. Boundaries create realistic expectations.
4. Boundaries create safety.
What Prevents you from setting boundaries
1. Fear.
2. Ambivalence.
3. You don't know how to.
4. Low self worth.
5. People pleasing.
Setting boundaries doesn't come easily or naturally to alot of people but you can learn to set healthy boundaries.
Tips for setting boundaries
1. Clearly identify your boundary. Get really clear with yourself about what the boundary is that you need to set. Spend time figuring out what you need before taking action.
2. Understand why you need the boundary.
3. Be straight forward. Say what you mean and mean what you say.
4. Don't apologise or give long explanations.
5. Use a calm and polite tone
6. Start with tighter boundaries. They are easy to loosen than to tighten up
7. Address boundary violations early. Small problems are always easier to manage. It's not fair to assume that others know your boundaries until you have explained them.
8. Don't make it personal. Setting a boundary isn't a personal attack its a out your wants a d needs.
9. Use a support system. Starting to set boundaries is tough. It can bring up a lot of questions, uncomfortable feelings and self doubt. Having a support system is invaluable whenever you're doing something challenging. Friends, family members or a therapist can provide support that makes setting boundaries easier.
10. Trust your intuition. Be sure to slow down and tune into yourself. Pay attention what you're feeling.
Remember that healthy boundaries are not only good for you but they are good for everyone.
Hi, my name is Laura. I am a fully qualified Hypnotherapist and Psychotherapeutic Counsellor coverin
