Amanda Tooms Therapy and Wellbeing

Amanda Tooms Therapy and Wellbeing MBACP, NCPS Accredited Trauma informed Psychotherapist & Clinical Supervisor. Hypnotherapist and Mentor.

Anxiety|Trauma|ED|BPD|LGBTQ+ & ND affirming.
🌱Helping you on your journey to a better place🌱
Career in performing arts, education & leadership

You don’t have to share everything to be real.In a world that often rewards oversharing, it’s easy to feel like healing ...
19/03/2026

You don’t have to share everything to be real.

In a world that often rewards oversharing, it’s easy to feel like healing has to be loud, visible, and fully exposed.

But therapy teaches something different.

You can show up
without explaining everything.
You can be seen
without giving everything away.
You can be honest
and still hold your boundaries.

This is what emotional safety looks like.
This is what self-trust looks like.

Sometimes healing is quiet.
Sometimes it’s simply standing steady, grounded in who you are, choosing what feels safe enough for today.

If you’re learning to find that balance between being seen and protecting your peace you’re doing important work.

15/03/2026

Mother’s Day can be beautiful and painful at the same time.

For many people, Mother’s Day is full of celebration; cards, flowers, family meals and moments of appreciation.

But for others, this day can feel much more complicated.

It can bring up grief for a mum who is no longer here.
The pain of a difficult or estranged relationship.
Fertility struggles or the longing to become a parent.
The quiet sadness of a loss that others may not see.
Or the emotional weight of navigating motherhood while holding your own wounds.

Days like this can stir feelings that sit quietly beneath the surface the rest of the year.

If today feels tender, heavy, or mixed with emotions, you are not alone.
It is possible to hold love and sadness at the same time. Both can exist together.

So today, if you can, move gently.
Reach out to someone you trust.
Or simply allow yourself the space to feel whatever this day brings.

And perhaps take a moment to check in on those around you too, friends, family, colleagues because Mother’s Day is not simple for everyone.

However this day feels for you, please know your feelings are valid.

This week I’ve sat with clients navigating sudden loss, relationship breakdown, and the fear that comes when our health ...
12/03/2026

This week I’ve sat with clients navigating sudden loss, relationship breakdown, and the fear that comes when our health feels uncertain. Real, raw, human pain.

Therapy isn’t about fixing people. It’s about giving pain somewhere safe to land.

In the therapy room there is space to speak freely.
Space to say the thing you’re worried might upset someone. Space to share thoughts that feel confusing, frightening, or overwhelming.

No judgement. No arguments. No pressure to be “fine.”

Often clients tell me the most powerful part of therapy is simply having a space where their voice can be heard and held with care.

Sometimes healing begins simply by having somewhere safe to speak.

If life feels heavy right now, you don’t have to face it alone.

Save this post for when you need a reminder that support exists. 🤍

On International Women’s Day, I’m thinking about the women doing the brave work of growth after life has changed them…Gr...
08/03/2026

On International Women’s Day, I’m thinking about the women doing the brave work of growth after life has changed them…

Growth rarely happens in comfort.

Sometimes it comes through endings.
Through grief.
Through the quiet rebuilding that follows divorce, loss, or a moment where life no longer looks the way you expected.

For many women, especially in midlife, those moments can feel destabilising.

But they can also be powerful turning points.

Growth is not about becoming someone new.
It’s about reconnecting with the parts of you that were always there; your strength, your voice, your intuition.

It’s about learning to trust yourself again.
Setting boundaries that protect your wellbeing.
And choosing relationships that honour who you are.

This is the quiet, courageous work so many women are doing every day.

So today, on International Women’s Day, I’m celebrating the women who are rebuilding, rediscovering themselves, and growing through change.

Not perfectly.
But bravely.

If you are in a season of rebuilding, please remember this:

Growth doesn’t mean you were broken.
It means you’re evolving.

And that is something worth honouring.

🤍
Amanda Tooms Therapy & Wellbeing

Tag a woman who is quietly rebuilding and deserves to be recognised today

📸

Let’s look at identity, who were you before everyone else needed you to be something else?Divorce in midlife often bring...
05/03/2026

Let’s look at identity, who were you before everyone else needed you to be something else?

Divorce in midlife often brings a question we’ve buried for years:

Who am I, really?

We spend decades shaping ourselves to fit roles; wife, mother, caregiver, partner.
And when those roles change or disappear, it can feel like the ground has shifted beneath us.

Rediscovering your identity is not about starting over.
It’s about remembering who you were before you learned to shrink.

Look at the things that bring you joy, confidence, and curiosity.

Ask yourself:
✨What did I love before I tried to please everyone else?
✨Who did I dream of being before expectations took over?

Identity is your anchor.
It’s what allows you to stand tall in your choices, your love, and your boundaries.

The divorce may have ended a chapter, but it can be the start of you coming home to yourself.

🤍
Amanda Tooms Therapy & Wellbeing
📸

04/03/2026

You are not a failure if you experience a relapse. 💛

Change is rarely a straight line. The cycle of change reminds us that setbacks are part of the process, not a reflection of your worth or effort.

In my work with clients and supervisees, we often explore this cycle together.
Understanding it can:

✨ Reduce guilt and shame
✨ Support motivation to keep moving forward
✨ Normalize the journey of change

Relapses don’t erase your progress, they are a sign that growth is happening.
Every step, even a step back, is part of your path to lasting change.

Remember: compassion and curiosity towards yourself are far more powerful than judgment. 💛

Let’s talk about boundaries, the quiet power you reclaim after divorce.Boundaries aren’t walls.They aren’t about pushing...
28/02/2026

Let’s talk about boundaries, the quiet power you reclaim after divorce.

Boundaries aren’t walls.
They aren’t about pushing people away.
They’re about protecting your energy, your heart, and your voice.

After years of putting others first; partner, children, work, expectations, many women in midlife realise they have forgotten what it feels like to put themselves first.

Boundaries help you:

✨Know what feels safe and what doesn’t
✨Honour your needs without guilt
✨Build relationships that respect who you are

Divorce can feel like a loss.
But it can also be a reawakening, a chance to practice boundaries that honour your worth.

Boundaries are not selfish.
They are self-respect in action.

Your life after divorce can feel different not because you’re limiting love, but because you’re choosing the love you allow in.

🤍
Amanda Tooms Therapy & Wellbeing
📸

26/02/2026

Grief doesn’t follow the textbook.

It doesn’t move neatly through stages.
It doesn’t tick boxes.
And it certainly doesn’t run in a straight line.

Grief can be the death of someone we love.
It can be the loss of a friendship.
The end of a relationship through separation or divorce.
The quiet ache when a child leaves home and life shifts shape.

Loss changes us.

🕊️Today marks 14 years since my wonderful dad died after a short but devastating battle with motor neurone disease. Anniversaries have a way of catching us off guard. Even when we know they’re coming, they can pull us up short.🕊️

Certain dates hold weight; birthdays, Christmas, the day someone died, the day we celebrated their life. They live in the body as much as in the calendar.

And what I know, both personally and professionally is this:

Grief doesn’t behave the way we’re sometimes taught to expect.
It circles.
It resurfaces.
It softens and then surprises you again.

There is no “should” in grief.

🕊️Today I’ll hold compassion for myself and for my family and I’m sending that same compassion to you if you’re carrying loss of any kind.

If today feels heavy, you are not doing grief wrong.
You are being human.

Today I will talk, laugh and share all things about my dad, the impact he had on all of us, because that’s what I do every other day. Special people, always deserve space and presence in our lives and my dad was absolutely one of the most special kind 🫶💞

24/02/2026

A little reintroduction 😊

I’m Amanda, therapist for adults and couples.
I work with trauma, feelings of overwhelm, stress, personality struggles disordered eating and anxiety.

My background in education, dance and leadership informs the way I sit with people: grounded, warm, and compassionate.

Thank you for being here. 🤍

Midlife divorce doesn’t mean you failed.It can mean you’re finally waking up.After years of being a wife, a mother, a pa...
22/02/2026

Midlife divorce doesn’t mean you failed.
It can mean you’re finally waking up.

After years of being a wife, a mother, a partner, you may find yourself asking:

Who am I now?

For many women in midlife, divorce doesn’t just end a relationship.
It disrupts identity.

If you grew up learning to be the peacemaker, the strong one, the accommodating one, you may have quietly disappeared inside the role.

Healing after divorce in your 40s, 50s, 60’s and beyond isn’t about starting over. It’s about remembering who you were before you learned to shrink.
It’s about building safety and trust within yourself so love no longer feels like something you have to earn.

Boundaries become clearer.
Standards become stronger.
Self-trust becomes steadier.

This isn’t the end of your story.
It’s the chapter where you come home to yourself.

And that kind of love, the one rooted in self-respect feels very different.

🤍
Amanda Tooms Therapy & Wellbeing





💫 It’s human. A tense mind creates a tense body.Tight shoulders. A clenched jaw. A chest that won’t quite soften.That te...
15/02/2026

💫 It’s human.

A tense mind creates a tense body.
Tight shoulders.
A clenched jaw.
A chest that won’t quite soften.

That tension isn’t weakness. It’s your nervous system trying to protect you when something feels unsafe or out of control.

And the way back isn’t force. It isn’t pushing through.

It’s breath.

A slow breath in.
A longer breath out.

Stand up. Stretch. Step outside.
Get a glass of water.
Small shifts in the body create shifts in emotion.

And sometimes?
We laugh.

Because laughter releases tension.
A smile softens shame.
Lightness makes the heavy feel more bearable.

When clients walk through my therapy room door, they’re welcomed wholeheartedly with warmth, and often with a smile. Yes, sometimes we go deep. Yes, we unravel what’s weighing on you. But it doesn’t have to feel sterile or severe.

Healing happens in safety.
Safety lives in connection.

And you deserve both.

If you’re ready for therapy that feels steady, warm and fully human, message me to book your first session.
Let’s help your nervous system exhale. 🤍

Why do the same relationship arguments keep happening?Whether it’s romantic relationships, friendships, family conflict ...
13/02/2026

Why do the same relationship arguments keep happening?

Whether it’s romantic relationships, friendships, family conflict or teen relationship struggles, many of us fall into protective patterns when we feel hurt or rejected.

In therapy, we gently explore these patterns, especially where attachment wounds, trauma, anxiety or shame may be underneath.

You’re not “too much.”
You’re protecting something.

If you’re ready to understand your relationship patterns more deeply, therapy can help.

Address

Gillingham

Opening Hours

Monday 9am - 7pm
Tuesday 9am - 7pm
Wednesday 9am - 3pm
Thursday 9am - 8pm
Friday 9am - 5pm

Telephone

+447837432968

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