Therapy with Iris

02/04/2026

March was a tough month.

I was working towards something that didn't come true.

It felt like every turn ended with a shut door.

The old beliefs I thought I had buried for good resurfaced.

It felt uncomfortable. I didn't like the disappointment and rejection I was feeling. I wanted to eat, drink and shop to make the feelings go away.

But cake can't solve problems.
Wine doesn't open doors.
And whilst shopping can be fun, a new pair of jeans does not bring new opportunities.

Instead, I used the tools I teach my clients.

Sitting with discomfort.
Naming the feelings and giving them time.
Accepting them.
Remembering that all feelings have a place.
Journalling.
Listening to Safe and Sound Protocol.
Nourishing my body.
Sleeping the best I could.

The discomfort disappeared.
The disappointment faded.
Calm returned.
Clarity appeared.
Motivation resurfaced.

I am OK now.

If you need help with difficult feelings, message me and together we'll make your way forward.

Email Iris.mcfee@ntlworld.com
WhatsApp! Phone/text 07717077131.

18/03/2026

I am delighted to announce that I have been accepted to work with the Trauma Clinic.

Check out my profile and please share it on your time line and with family and friends, so that people who need help can get help.

Trauma Directory lists trauma therapists dedicated to trauma care, recovery, and healing. Find trusted professionals and resources for trauma support at traumadirectory.org. Powered by Trauma Clinic 2.0

04/03/2026

After traumatic or stressful event, your body's natural fight - or - flight alarm can get stuck in the ON position, keeping you in a high alert setting when no real danger is present.

How would you know if you are stuck in the fight /flight state?

Below are 5 physical signs your body thinks it's still in danger (even when it's not)

🔹 Racing heart or palpitations
🔹 Tight jaw, shoulders or back
🔹 Shallow breathing or breathlessness
🔹 Digestive issues like nausea, cramps, IBS,
Constipation
🔹 Trouble sleeping or constant fatigue.

If you are feeling constantly tense, wired or exhausted, consider that you may be stuck in fight /flight mode, your nervous system's emergency setting. Trauma or prolonged stress can keep you in the survival mode.

It's important to know that this doesn't need to be permanent setting.. You can reset your nervous system.

🔶Share this to help someone to understand their body better.

13/02/2026

Most of my clients come to me after experiencing trauma, sometimes a long time ago. They often feel they "should be over it" and they don't understand why they still feel hyperalert, anxious avoid certain places, or get triggered by the simplest of things. What they don't realise that trauma reshapes the nervous system. Their reactions are the body's way of trying to stay safe everything what's happened.

02/02/2026

If you are scared therapy will change you... This is for you.

Therapy isn't here to change you and that's the whole point.

Therapy creates conditions to make change possible.

Therapy gives you space to slow down and hear yourself.

It helps your nervous system settle so that you can think clearly.

It gives you tools to make unhelpful patterns visible and therefore changeable.

Therapy is about understanding yourself well enough to decide what stays and what goes.

And that's the whole point.

Complimentary introduction call and Online sessions available at £50 per session. Email iris.mcfee@ntlworld.com or text /WhatsApp 07717077131 to book.

26/01/2026

Thought create feelings.
Feelings create behaviour.
Behaviour creates outcomes.

In cognitive behavioural therapy, the therapy for thoughts and actions, we are going to the first link of the chain and tackle things at their root.

You will learn how to spot the thought that sets you off course.

You will understand why they show up.

You will learn how to adapt the thought so that you get a different, better outcome.

You will learn how to do it in a way that feels safe to your mind and your nervous system.

Maybe you want to start speaking up for yourself.

Maybe you want to meet new people but don't like talking to go out.

Maybe part of you wants new opportunities at work, whilst the other part doesn't feel you are capable.

These are just a couple of examples I can help you with. Online evening and daytime sessions available at £50 per session.

To book an appointment or no obligations introductory call email iris.mcfee@ntlworld.com or text /WhatsApp 07717077131.

You are not alone.

22/01/2026

Do you ever wonder why life seems effortless for some people whilst others seem stuck however hard they try?

Let polyvagal theory explain why.

Your nervous system has 3 states
🔸Safe and social ( ventral vagal) - you feel calm, curious, connected. The world feels safe.

🔸Flight or fight (sympathetic) - you feel angry, anxious, on the edge. The world feels dangerous and you want to take action.

🔸Freeze (dorsal vagal) - you feel numb, alone, disconnected. The world feels dangerous and you want to hide.

As well functioning nervous system moves smoothly between these states. But life events can leave us stuck in flight /fight or freeze.

And when you are stuck, it's hard to
🔹Build your career
🔹Create meaningful relationships
🔹Stick to routines
🔹Take care of your health
🔹Fulfill your dreams

You are not destined to stay stuck. You can get unstuck you can return to more balanced and regulated nervous system and life starts to flow again.

18/01/2026

January often makes us think about new beginnings. - how life has been so far and you want your future to be different.

How your life has been demanding.

How you have woken up already stressed about the day ahead. Small tasks have felt overwhelming. How you have pushed and pushed yourself, whilst the critical voice inside you has grown louder.

You realise that you have coped with life challenges alone for so long that now your nervous system is overwhelmed by chronic stress and the pressure to keep going.. You are stuck in fight /flight / freeze and don't know how to get out.

Now you are ready to stop pretending that you are OK.

But change feels scary.

You don't need to do it alone.

I have space for your story and for creating a future where your mind is calm, your thoughts rational and your life is not dominated by negative feelings.

Hold my hands, and I will walk with you. Currently offering online sessions so that you can access support from the safety and comfort of your home.

To book a session, email iris.mcfee@ntlworld.com or text /WhatsApp /phone 07717077131. Sessions cost £50.

You are not alone 💛

08/01/2026

I have always loved reading. The way it can instantly take you to a different life is just magical.

This is what I am reading now. The storyline is that when you die, you go to the Midnight Library. You are presented with your Book of Regrets, you can pick a life events, make a differen decision about it and go and relive your life from that decision.

And whilst we can't go back in the real life, can't relive events, we don't need to stay stuck in the regrets either.

We can look at our past decisions, the circumstances around it and decide to do things differently in the future.

You can let go the emotion of regret but keep the wisdom the event and the decision making brought.

02/01/2026

Happy new year!

Let 2026 be your year.
The year you put you first.
The year you make your voice heard and your views count.
The year you teach people how to respect you.
The year you have clarity.
The year you seek support and change becomes easy.

25/12/2025

Merry Christmas.

Hope you have exactly the kind of Christmas you need.

For some, it's connecting with people, laughing and joking.

For others, it's a quiet day, reflecting on life and enjoying the peace.

27/11/2025

Why does nervous system safety matter?

Your nervous system is like a meerkat, constantly checking your surroundings for safety and danger, and giving your body systems commands about how to act.

If you have had difficult life situations or long term stress, your nervous system can malfunction and interpret incoming signals wrong. That means your response will be wrong - you respond to a danger, when there wasn't one.

When your nervous system functions well and responds correctly, your life flows.

Clarity appears.
You know what you want.
You stop overthinking.
Decision making is easy.
You plan and take action effortlessly.
You see solutions for problems.
Connecting with people will be easier and you make new friends.
You won't worry about what other people think of you.
You see people for who they are.
You reach your goals.

Wouldn't that feel good?

If you have tried to change your life and it hasn't worked, maybe it's time to try differently. When you work at the nervous system level, you get deep and everlasting results.

Let's have a conversation about how I can help you.
Contact me on email iris.mcfee@ntlworld.com or text /phone /WhatsApp 07717077131.

Let's make your life easier.