02/07/2025
Dementia is an energy thief. It steals energy from those living with the condition.
If you have dementia, you have limited energy. And tasks become more tiring. Maybe you can’t clean the whole house in a day. You are exhausted after cleaning the kitchen.
Perhaps you don’t have the energy to cook a whole Thanksgiving dinner, but you can do the mashed potatoes.
As dementia progresses, your energy becomes even more limited. A 5 minute conversation might be enjoyable, but you are too tired to pay attention after 10 minutes.
You can’t even watch a whole movie because your brain is too exhausted to follow the plot. And you get halfway through a task like putting away laundry when your brain and body quit on you.
That’s part of dementia. We don’t talk about it enough. We focus on memory loss rather than other symptoms that impact quality of life.
If you are a caregiver, you have to adjust to your loved one’s limited energy. You can’t pep talk someone into increasing their energy. When energy is gone, it’s gone—until the person has a chance to rest and renew. Maybe that means a nap. Or some quiet time looking out the window.
Sometimes a person living with dementia needs a few days to replenish their energy. You can’t speed up that process; you have to be patient.
Here are some ideas to assist someone living with dementia with the fatigue they may experience:
— Break tasks into smaller parts. Instead of asking a person with dementia to vacuum the house, ask them to vacuum the living room. If they have energy when they are done with this, ask them to vacuum the hallway.
–Always have an exit plan. When you are out and about, be conscious of your loved one’s energy level. If you see it needs replenishment, leave the situation for a more restful place.
–Be realistic. Is a day at the state fair (especially the Iowa State Fair!) a realistic option for your loved one? Can Grandma really sit through the entire dance recital? Is your loud and wild family Christmas a great place for your loved one with dementia?
–Just say no. As a kid growing up in the War on Drugs era, we practiced saying no to drugs. I also think we should have practiced how to say no to social obligations. It’s okay if you and your loved one with dementia don’t go to a holiday party that you’ve gone to every year since the 90’s. It’s okay to skip the homecoming parade. If energy is limited, spend it on the stuff you really enjoy and leave the rest.
–Identify the times of day your loved one has the most energy. For most people living with dementia, that’s the morning. Plan activities in this time frame. If the grandkids come over, make a plan with an ending time. Put it on the schedule as 9-10:30am, or 11-11:30am, or whatever works. The trick is that the kids leave before the energy is gone.
One of our most valuable commodities in life is energy. A significant loss of energy requires a significant adjustment.
The goal is to use the energy you have to do the things that are most important to you.
And to let go of the things that aren’t as important.
