23/01/2026
The impossible decision that keeps you awake at night, the constant battle in your mind about what is best for you and baby.
If you're stuck between a planned caesarean and vaginal birth, and neither feels safe, then I promise you're not alone.
After trauma, your brain flags both options as threats. A caesarean birth offers control but requires trust in the medical team that you that you might not have, and a higher level of medical intervention.
A vaginal birth feels like what you "should" do, but the unpredictability is terrifying.
And underneath it all? Guilt, fear, and feeling like you're failing before labour even starts.
The weight and responsibility of this decision can feel so overwhelming, that often you just want it to be taken out of your hand. What I would say to you is if that decision were to be taken out of your hands, if a situation were to arise where you needed to have one or the other, which option would you want it to be? This information might guide you to the decision that feels right for you.
I also want you to remember that this isn't about making the choice that you think everyone else wants you to make, no one else knows exactly what you are feeling so their opinion is based on their own experiences and beliefs not yours. Its about understanding why both options might feel impossible, and finding the path that feels safest for you.
Have detailed discussions with your obstetrician and midwife to really understand your options and think about the pros and cons of each. Tell your story and ask for a trauma informed approach so they understand why this decision feels so heavy for you.
If this resonates then comment below. Which fear is loudest for you right now?
