Dr Matthew

Learn about true wellness, how to increase resilience and thrive, not survive
www.mbewellness.com I qualified as medical doctor 15 years ago.

I have worked in variety of areas of medicine including General practice. I have met countless people who struggle with daily existence, are unfulfilled, keep on making the same 'mistakes' and feel helpless, myself included. Having reflected on this for years and knowing that there must be more to life than just surviving I embarked up on my own journey of study and self-education. The end goal of all of this was to bring together a host of areas within medicine, the fields of physics, psychology and philosophy in order that I could help guide and educate people on how to heal themselves, discover true wellness, become extraordinary and live a life they actually want
For more information go to:
www.mbewellness.com
drmatthewmbewellness on instagram

19/10/2023

Time to say goodbye: to quote some on my past posts there will always be challenges in life, quite literally nothing stays the same forever, change is constant (just ask your skin cells) and sometimes it’s worth having a chat with your inner child to reflect on what is holding you back. With that in mind I’m going to say goodbye to instagram and focus my energy and efforts elsewhere in promoting the value of mind, body and emotional wellness for all. Please check out my website, www.mbewellness.com for my ongoing blog posts (every post on here is also posted on there). Thank you to all of you that have followed me and helped me in this ongoing project and in turn I hope some of you have found benefit, no matter how small, in reading my posts and I hope you can still follow me via my website. So, finally, remember this: we all have the resources we need inside of us already to live a life of contentment, it’s not what happens in life, it’s how we deal with it and the stories we tell ourselves

17/10/2023

“How can I help? ” is the phrase I’ve used most often in over a decade as a GP and it’s just as important when it comes to my business: Mind, Body and Emotional Wellness.

So, how can I help?

I offer affordable one to one sessions for your personal challenges.

I deliver talks to businesses and their employees to improve wellness, reduce stress and so optimise performance.

I visit schools to talk to staff, parents and students about how to thrive and not just survive.

If this resonates with you or you know of someone or a business or school/college that is in need of such assistance then please don't hesitate to contact me:

Email me at - drmatthew@mbewellness.com
Message me on Instagram - drmatthewmbewellness
Message me on Linkedin - Dr Matthew - Mind, Body and Emotional Wellness Limited.

Visit www.mbewellness for more information.

MBE Wellness, here to HELP YOU

12/10/2023

Sometimes we can all struggle ‘to move on’ in life, break free from a pattern of behaviour, even ‘grow up’ as it were (aka Peter Pan syndrome). Now, there is absolutely nothing wrong with keeping that sense of playfulness and joy in your life, in fact it’s an essential part to living a fulfilling life! However, if you are struggling to take a next step, progress, or even stop patterns that you know hurt you (and others) then it maybe that your inner child/the younger version of you is the reason why. We all have an ‘inner child’, it exists as the beliefs we formed around our needs when we were younger, and these beliefs can be VERY strong. In simple terms, for example, if as a child you were deprived of/missed out on something (eg food) and so did not have this need met, then when you find that something in adult life your inner child may never want to let it go (this could lead to over eating, binge eating, an eating disorder) even though you consciously know you don’t need that much food. Alternatively if you had a need met excessively (eg attention, people doing everything for you) then when you become an adult your inner child maybe screaming at you to never let this go (you might struggle to become independent, spend time alone). The take home point is that if you find yourself scared, conflicted, reluctant or even unable to move forward in an area of your life it’s worth talking to your inner child: what are they saying? What need/s do they need meeting or are scared to lessen? By reassuring your inner child, much like you would an actual child, the sense of freedom and peace can be life changing

10/10/2023

Today is world mental health day. Mental health is a human right, and something that we all have. With the right input (education) and correct fuel (self care) we can all experience a healthy mental output (thoughts, beliefs, emotions and behaviours). This does not mean we won’t face challenges to our mental health (just as we do with physical health when we get a cold ), but we will be in a more resilient place in which to move forward with them

08/10/2023

Who are you? In response to that question you might start by saying your gender, then maybe that you are a parent, a brother or sister, an aunty or uncle. Your relationship status might get a mention: a husband or a wife. Then perhaps your occupation: nurse; doctor; writer; teacher; manager; business owner; caterer. You might even list possible accomplishments or hobbies: a footballer; a keep fit enthusiast; a painter; a pianist. These are all things that you are, but they are not who you are. We can build our identity on external things, things we achieve, things we fail at, things people tell us, both good and bad, even from an early age (where we form our beliefs), the things society expects of us, the things that we do, but if we do this it leaves us vulnerable to the winds of change. It is also not true. To discover your identity identify your core values, for it is these that make up the foundation of our identity. These values do not change, are not influenced by external factors and act as a guide to re centre us when we feel lost, overwhelmed and confused

04/10/2023

Occam’s razor: in a modern society where we have access to so much information (24 hour news, social media, TV, movies, publications etc) and the ability to make endless comparisons, life can seem a bit overwhelming with conflicting advice, especially when it comes to making life choices, big or small. If this is causing you undue angst it might be worth remembering ‘Occam’s razor’: the principle that the simplest explanation, or in this case choice, is often the right one. This was something we were taught at medical school when considering patients’ diagnoses, especially when there was a constellation of symptoms and a plethora of investigation data. The great thing about this principle is that it can also be applied to all aspects of your life, whether it’s what to keep and sell, how you want to spend your time, what you want to do with your career. Having options and lots of information can be really valuable, but don’t loose sight of what you are trying to do/achieve and if in doubt just keep it simple and go from there

02/10/2023

“There is a Hole in My Sidewalk” is a poem written by Portia Nelson: “I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost… I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in the same place.
But, it isn’t my fault.
It still takes me a long time to get out.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in. It’s a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault. I get out immediately.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

I walk down another street.”

Sometimes we can try an alter certain aspects of our life to find a different outcome, but this can lead to ground hog day, or a least flirting with it. Maybe it’s time to try a different path. Maybe choose a different path, maybe just choose a different path

29/09/2023

Standing at the top of a very tall building, such as the Chrysler building in New York, and looking down can seem pretty overwhelming at times, even frightening: maybe you freeze to the spot, close your eyes and dare not to move; maybe you recoil as quickly as possible to reach relative safety away from the edge; alternatively you might feel a thrill of excitement, inch closer, peer over the edge further and further. Life is often like standing at the top a series of Chrysler buildings, where our stress response is triggered, either acutely when we realise we are suddenly at the edge peering over to the ground below, or chronically as we consciously inch towards that edge having a sense of what is going to greet us there. Here the edge might be an expected change of some sort, like a new year at college or uni, going back to work, giving up a harmful yet comforting habit, even just ‘growing up’ and getting older. The edge might also be an opportunity: applying for a new job/promotion; moving city/home; learning a new skill; meeting new people; having a baby even. The stress response evolved millions of years ago to keep us alive, where danger was everywhere and it can still serve us well (making sure we don’t learn over the edge so much that we fall for example), but it’s often no longer fit for purpose, because as scary as change can be, thankfully 99.999% of the time it’s not going to kill us, even do us harm. Whether you experience this stress response as excitement (leaning into the edge, embracing the change/opportunity, thinking of the benefits it might bring, the chance to learn and grow) or fear (frozen to the spot or recoiling, not trying, ignoring, feeling trapped, helpless, hopeless) is within our control, we just need to consciously examine our response and challenge it if we wish. There may well be times when to stay put or seek shelter is our in best interests and keeps us and loved ones safe, but whatever your response it’s always worth challenging it. Fear and excitement are two sides of the same coin.

27/09/2023

Who am I? What am I doing? Where am I going? These are three questions we can often find ourselves asking at various points in our life and if we are not it’s well worth asking them. Who am I? Everybody is everything, all traits are on a spectrum, it’s just that we express some more than others, especially depending our environment (epigenetics). However, one simple way to answer this question is to discover what your core values are. These are you and they do not change, they navigate who you are and if you stray from them you will know about it as you feel conflicted/in pain/lost/a void you try to fill (google ‘core values exercise’).What I am doing? This can be answered many ways, from the practical to the philosophical, but might best be answered by building on those core values, am I living a life (work, personal, relationship wise) congruent with those values. Importantly, also, don’t forget to look at your needs and see if these are being met too (please google ‘Maslow’s hierarchy of needs’). Where am I going? Action without a vision is chaos (think of someone splashing around in water going nowhere, all that energy spent on staying put), but action with a vision is purpose. What’s your purpose? What excites you, motivates you, makes you smile and gets you focused? If you can visualise that and build on it this will help you create a map you can navigate to your destination. That destination is your own self actualisation (you living in your potential and all that comes with it).

11/09/2023

Yesterday, September 10th was world su***de prevention day. To those who encounter or know people who talk about a want to commit su***de know that one of the best ways you can help is through practicing complete empathy and compassion: remember if someone is suicidal it’s because the pain of living has become greater than the pain of death, think about that for a moment. And for anyone who has suicidal thoughts know that this is not the end, there are people and organisations out there who want to help, who love you as a human and will lessen the pain of living so that you can feel joy again and that you can sense purpose. Suicidal thoughts and actions are a manifestation of deep, profound emotional pain. The good news is that emotional pain, which is energy, can be eased and transformed into healing, wisdom, compassion and life

08/09/2023

A magic roundabout. The magic round about in Swindon is essentially one mega roundabout made up of smaller roundabouts: basically look in the direction you want to go and hope for the best. Life can sometimes feel like this, that we are consciously or unconsciously on a roundabout, living the same day over and over again, making the same choices, the same mistakes, living out the same patterns. This can be in certain areas of our life (the small roundabouts) within our life overall (the large roundabout). And like the magic roundabout, it’s busy, lots of cars and lots of people are doing the same thing, expending a lot of energy, not going anyway and feeling (car) sick. Sometimes in desperation we then make a dash for it, put the indicator on and try to get off. This can work, but can also risk causing damage to yourself and others if not done with some thought. However, the great news is that you can get off the roundabout and effectively so with some reflection. An excellent example of this is with CBT, which enables us to break the endless cycles and patterns of behaviours in different areas of our lives which can cause a big shift in our life as a whole. No matter how much you drive and try to avoid them you will always come across roundabouts, but with some knowledge and reflection you don’t have to get stuck on them

06/09/2023

Back to school: so, September is here and with it school and possibly going back to work. For some this brings relief/excitement, for others anxiety/dread, and for others a mixture of both. Whichever camp you fall into the common underlying cause is the stress response. The ‘emotion’ you feel as a result depends on your interpretation/perception of it and the extent of the stress response. Starting somewhere new, a new year or going back your job causes a stress response with a good intention: that is to achieve and become part of a tribe. In caveman times if we were unsuccessful in either of these two things then there were probably severe consequences, even death. Thankfully that’s not the case on returning to work or school! However, your body still experiences this stress response in the same way, it can’t tell the difference. Whether you experience this a excitement/motivation or anxiety depends on several things, but how secure you feel, your sense of self and competency go along way to deciding which side of the stress coin you land on. If excited/motivated you will be in the sweet spot of eustress where you embrace a challenge, are focused and remain calm, but if very anxious then the stress response has gone too far and you are now in a state of distress, maybe even panic. If it’s the latter this might come across as being confrontational (fight), avoidant (flight) or shut down/not with it (freeze). This is entirely normal, human and we have all experienced it before. However, it’s not especially helpful. To lower the stress levels we can either change our perception or use specific tools. To change perception put things in context: is anyone going to die today? No? Then tell your body that. Maybe change your language: instead of using words like worried or problem use the word opportunity. And tools wise? Well there are the breathing techniques we have covered before, but one of my favourites is visualisation: close your eyes and imagine a place where you feel safe and relaxed (bed or home for a lot of us) and keep visualising that as where you will be once home from school or work: body can’t tell the difference between reality and imagination.

04/09/2023

An Indian Summer: my first thoughts today for a share were about going ‘back to school’, but then I opened the blinds, checked the forecast and it appears we have just entered an Indian summer! The term is thought to come from Native Indian Americans, who used a spell of warm autumn weather to their advantage to carry on hunting and gathering supplies for the winter to come. There will always be tougher, more challenging seasons/periods of life ahead, this year, next year and so on. One key to thriving during these times is to take opportunities, including unexpected ones, to enjoy the now, stock up on positive experiences that can update the database in your head with positive memories that you can reflect on and use as inspiration for future visions to get you through harsher times. These ‘Indian summers’/opportunities are also an excellent time to continue to hunt for knowledge (which is just information based on experiences) and personal growth, whether it be developing a new outlook on something or practicing a new tool such as meditation/sport etc, that will sustain you through the ‘winter’ ahead. So, embrace your ‘Indian summers’, not only for the joy they can bring now, but also for the resilience they can supply in the future

01/09/2023

A vision without action is a daydream; action without a vision is a nightmare. This Japanese proverb highlights the importance of conscious thinking. On average 4/5 of human thoughts are negative and 90% are repetitive. This was of value in caveman times when caution was imperative lest you get attacked by an animal or another tribe whilst out hunting or seeking shelter: it kept us safe. Thankfully, most of us now are unlikely to be attacked when we go about are daily business (geographically depending I admit) which means this unchecked, unconscious repetition of thoughts is no longer fit for purpose. How many of us just go about our day on auto pilot, living our past days over and over and not really going anywhere, more in survival mode than anything else, putting out metaphorical fires and navigating chaos. This is was happens when we act without really having a vision. A vision can be seen as a state, a life, a person that we want to be and to live. If we can figure this out then we can consciously challenge our thoughts and beliefs, alter them and our behaviour’s accordingly to move towards that vision until we are living it. Where we put our attention, we put our energy, quite literally. One way to find your vision? Identify your core values, follow them, live by them and that will guide you in a life that you want

29/08/2023

Viva las vagus part II: Vagus in Latin means wandering, which highlights how spread out this nerve is and the reach of its influence. We have right and left sided one that runs from our brain to our sacrum (pelvis) acting on numerous organs a long the way. As the main player of the parasympathetic nervous system it’s all about rest (slowing down heart and breathing rates) and restore (helping our gut to digest food and absorb nutrients). It also receives information from the enteric nervous system of the gut (hence the gut brain connection where the type of bacteria in our gut can influence our brain!). Just as important is it’s direct role in reducing inflammation in the body and so reducing risks of all types of vascular disease including heart attacks, depression and inflammatory diseases such as inflammatory bowel disease. It does this by directly reducing the production of three inflammatory chemicals: TNF, IL -6, IL - 1beta. Although the vagus nerve is part of the unconscious nervous system we can consciously activate it: one simple and effective way is through breathing - breath in through your nose for 4 seconds pushing your tummy out, hold briefly and then breathe out through pursued lips for 6 seconds. Doing this slowly stretches and contracts your diaphragm which the vagus nerve runs through, leading to its optimal stimulation. Do this for 20 minutes daily to begin to experience the effects of the vagus nerve, they will be subtle, but over time it can make a real, long lasting, positive impact. To find out more about the vagus nerve and other ways to activate it just drop me a message or email via my website www.mbewellness.com

25/08/2023

Viva las Vagus: one key to a healthier life, physically, mentally and emotionally is actually something that we all have and which already lies within us all. It has been there since the dawn of humans and has been known about for eons, indeed, I remember it taking up a large chunk of anatomy sessions at medical school! But it is only more recently that popular science is advertising something we have know for a long time: the vagus nerve (the 10th cranial nerve) is of huge therapeutic benefit to us all. The unconscious nervous system (autonomic nervous system) has two parts: the sympathetic and the parasympathetic. The sympathetic is all things fight and flight, adrenaline and cortisol, i.e. the stress response. The parasympathetic, of which the main nerve is the vagus nerve, is all of the exact opposite, rest and restore, GABA and other chemicals that calm us and bring our body back into harmony. So, how does this help us live a healthier life, physically, emotionally and mentally? The stress response is vital in our life (it gets us up in the morning, helps us focus and react to danger), but if over activated in the short term or long term it can have serious negative consequences, from triggering heart attacks and panic attacks to causing depression, anxiety and aging our brains and bodies. In short, stress does kill, either directly or indirectly. One way this happens is because the stress response increases inflammation in our bodies. This is bad news on the whole. This is where the ability to then consciously activate the vagus nerve can really help us, as it inhibits the stress response, both acutely and over time, to reduce inflammation in our bodies and our brains. In short it puts us in an anti-inflammatory state, which carries significant benefits to every aspect of our health. To find out more about the vagus nerve, how to activate it and what it can do for you please just get in touch via my website and look out for future posts

23/08/2023

A room with a view. To be fair, the view from the top of Table mountain is pretty spectacular, but, there may be times when the weather closes in and the view does not look so good, it can actually look pretty bleak. There may be other ‘mountains’ we climb in life only to realise the view from the top or part way up is not all we hoped for, maybe even miserable. So what to do? Maybe you could stay on that ‘mountain’ for a bit longer, see if the ‘weather’ improves and so to the view? Alternatively you could descend the ‘mountain’ accept it was not what you thought it was and chose another path, a different ‘mountain’? Does the first one sound a bit passive and hopeful? Does the second one sound like a lot of work? Maybe, although that does not mean either is the wrong approach. However, maybe it is sometimes worth trying the middle way, perhaps you could just move around the side of the mountain, to another face and see what the view looks like from there

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