29/09/2023                                                                            
                                    
                                                                            
                                            Standing at the top of a very tall building, such as the Chrysler building in New York, and looking down can seem pretty overwhelming at times, even frightening: maybe you freeze to the spot, close your eyes and dare not to move; maybe you recoil as quickly as possible to reach relative safety away from the edge; alternatively you might feel a thrill of excitement, inch closer, peer over the edge further and further. Life is often like standing at the top a series of Chrysler buildings, where our stress response is triggered, either acutely when we realise we  are suddenly at the edge peering over to the ground below, or chronically as we consciously inch towards that edge having a sense of what is going to greet us there. Here the edge might be an expected change of some sort, like a new year at college or uni, going back to work, giving up a harmful yet comforting habit, even just ‘growing up’ and getting older. The edge might also be an opportunity: applying for a new job/promotion; moving city/home; learning a new skill; meeting new people; having a baby even. The stress response evolved millions of years ago to keep us alive, where danger was everywhere and it can still serve us well (making sure we don’t learn over the edge so much that we fall for example), but it’s often no longer fit for purpose, because as scary as change can be, thankfully 99.999% of the time it’s not going to kill us, even do us harm. Whether you experience this stress response as excitement (leaning into the edge, embracing the change/opportunity, thinking of the benefits it might bring, the chance to learn and grow) or fear (frozen to the spot or recoiling, not trying, ignoring, feeling trapped, helpless, hopeless) is within our control, we just need to consciously examine our response and challenge it if we wish. There may well be times when to stay put or seek shelter is our in best interests and keeps us and loved ones safe, but whatever your response it’s always worth challenging it. Fear and excitement are two sides of the same coin.