The Boundaried Horse

10/06/2025

Coaches, can I ask you something?

Have you ever found yourself guiding a client through a process—a tool you’ve used countless times—only to realise you haven’t applied it to your own situation in months?

You know it works.
You’ve seen the breakthroughs.
You’ve witnessed the clarity it brings.

But when it comes to you… the tool gathers dust.

You’re not alone.

As coaches, we’re often so focused on serving others that we bypass our own growth edges. We’re human. We have blind spots. We get tired. Sometimes we need the very thing we offer others—space to be held, not hold.

So I’m creating something a little different.

Walking Your Talk is a group coaching space for coaches.
It’s a chance to experience a bit of your own medicine—
To be coached using the very tools you use with clients,
To reconnect with what you teach, and feel it land for yourself.

Our next session is on 23rd June.
At this stage, it’s completely free as we gauge interest and impact.

DM me if you’d like to be included.
Let’s stop doing this work alone—and start walking our talk, together.

09/06/2025

What comes to mind when you hear the word boundaries?

Do you feel relieved… or rejected?
Do you feel safer… or shut out?
Do you feel respected… or resented?

You’re not alone if the idea of someone setting a boundary with you brings discomfort or fear.
Most of us were taught that boundaries = walls. Rejection. Distance.
Not love. Not care. Not connection.

You might think:

❌ They don’t like me.
❌ They’re being difficult.
❌ They’re pulling away.
❌ They’re making my job harder.

But… what if none of that were true?

💡 Let’s Reframe It:
A boundary is not rejection.
It’s a request for sustainability.

It says:

“I want to keep working, loving, parenting, supporting, or simply being in relationship with you… and I need this in place so I don’t burn out, shut down, or disappear in the process.”

🟡 Boundaries aren’t disconnection.
They’re how we stay in connection—honestly, clearly, sustainably.

🔁 The Paradox of Boundaries?
They don’t shut people out.
They invite people in—with safety, clarity, and respect.

✅ They create freedom, not restriction.
✅ They protect energy, not ego.
✅ They offer trust, not tension.
✅ They bring clarity, not confusion.

🧠 A Gentle Prompt to Reflect:
Next time someone sets a boundary with you, pause and ask:

✨ What are they trying to protect?
✨ What are they inviting me to see?
✨ How might honouring this deepen our connection?

💛 Because Boundaries Are:
🟡 Acts of courage
🟡 Declarations of worth
🟡 Blueprints for trust

Boundaries are how we preserve relationships—not end them.

🎯 If You’ve Read This Far…
There’s a part of you this message landed with.
That awareness? That’s your first boundary.

If you’re wondering how this could change the way you lead, love, parent, or protect your energy—

📩 DM me to sign up for the Better Boundaries Workshop.

You don’t need to have it all figured out.
You just need to be ready to explore a different way.

Let us begin.

16/05/2025

Easter Sunday, after a hearty meal with friends, we took Polo—my pony—into the forest for our first walk of the season.

At first he balked at leaving his field mates, then settled into a peaceful rhythm as we walked on the quiet main roads leading to the forest itself.

As we approached the main gates that took us further into the wooded areas, Polo began to pull back. I didn't think much of it. It was a gate we had been through before so I wasn't concerned.

As we passed through the gate, we entered an area where wild cattle and ponies graze, though the ponies have not been there for years, so I wasn't expecting them that day.

A little further on, we spotted a group of women photographing a lone pony. Polo hesitated again, while I - a mix of curiosity and excitement - kept moving forward, albeit cautiously!

One pony became two, then three—each alert to our presence.

Then a fourth pony appeared, unmistakably the leader and the energy palpably, shifted.

My gut murmured, and I knew instinctively,

“This is close enough!!!"

As I turned Polo back toward the gate. The ponies followed. And it was only then that I could allow the scene to play out - with us safely on the other side of the gate. I was able to allow Polo and the ponies to greet one another nose-to-nose before their leader steered them away.

It was a spellbinding moment—but only because I heeded the quiet warning before curiosity overran caution.

Takeaways:
* By design, boundaries keep you safe.
* Beautiful doesn’t always mean safe.
* “Nothing’s happened yet” isn’t proof your instincts are wrong.
* Boundaries protect what keeps you whole.

So my questions to you are..
Where do these lessons surface in your life - at work, at home, with friends?
How loud must your discomfort grow before you take action?
Can you feel your gut and if you can, do you listen?

—Or is hindsight the proverbial b***h?

Boundaries aren’t walls;
they’re guide-ropes that keep you close
to what keeps you safe, whole, and fully you.

03/05/2025

14/03/2025

Reflect, Be Present, and Trust Your Self

Sometimes life gives us the opportunity to revisit our past, to see how far we’ve come, and to reflect on the journey that brought us here. But the real power lies in being present—fully embracing where we are right now—because the future is unknown, and every moment matters.

When making decisions, focus on you. The noise of others’ opinions can be loud, but it doesn’t have to dictate your path. Trust yourself, drown out the doubt, and move forward with confidence. Your journey is yours alone—make it count.

13/03/2025

Thank you to everyone who responded to my post yesterday. It came from a vulnerable moment shared with some incredible people from the GBT group. Thank you to Rymel Dmot, Joseph, Sandhu, Royal, Annette Corbett Riaz-Condron, Gauntlett, Hughes. Your support, your willingness to see and hear me, meant the world. It was an honour to share that space with you.

What I didn’t do yesterday was acknowledge the authors who shaped one of my working definitions of boundaries.

Jan Black and Greg Enns, in Better Boundaries: Owning and Treasuring Your Life, define boundaries

'as a line you draw to protect all or part of your life from being abused, coerced, controlled, demeaned, discounted, devalued, diffused, fixed, manipulated, misunderstood, or wrongly judged.'

To this, I’ve added: undermined, harassed, discriminated against, and gaslighted. And I know there are more.

This definition matters because it highlights how seemingly small, passing comments—both intentional and unintentional—can impact us. Words that fly by unnoticed can leave a stain on our mood, inviting self-doubt, tugging at our confidence, and ultimately, breaking down communication.

It’s often the smallest, unchecked remarks that cause the most damage over time.

Take a moment to notice the words that land in your space today. How do they make you feel? What do they stir in you?

Let’s start a conversation. What words or actions have crossed your boundaries in ways you only recognized later? Drop a comment or message me—I’d love to hear your thoughts.

12/03/2025

Empowerment

08/02/2025

Hey Leaders & Managers: I Need Your Insights!

I’m doing some market research and would love to tap into your experience.

If you lead a team—or oversee one—your perspective is invaluable. I’m especially curious about the everyday challenges and habits that affect team performance and engagement.

Here are a few areas I’d love your feedback on:

Leadership Habits: Reflecting on your leadership experience, what is one specific habit or behaviour you’ve found to be highly effective—but challenging to maintain consistently—and how does it shape your team’s daily performance?

Measuring Connection: How do you usually stay on top of your team’s overall mood, and what early signals do you look out for that might mean something’s wrong behind the scenes?

Recurring Roadblocks: In working toward your organisational goals, what recurring hurdles within your teams seem to pop up again and again—and why do you think they persist?

Why I’m Asking:
I want to understand the real pain points that leaders and managers face in maintaining momentum and hitting those targets.

Your honest answers will help me create solutions that truly address these core issues.

How You Can Help:

- Comment below with your experiences.
- Share a story or example that brings these questions to life.
- Tag fellow leaders or managers who might have insights to add.

I appreciate any thoughts you’re willing to share—I look forward to hearing about your experiences!

18/08/2024

Hey Gorgeous,
I've noticed you’re not quite yourself lately, and it’s been weighing on my mind. Y

ou’ve been running around non-stop, juggling a million things, and honestly, I’m in awe of how much you manage to do. But I can also see it’s taking a toll on you.

You seem tired, like really tired—physically and emotionally—and it breaks my heart because I know you’re not someone who slows down easily.

I want you to know it’s okay to take a step back. It’s okay to rest, to say no, and to put yourself first for a change. You’ve been there for everyone else, always giving, always showing up. But you can’t pour from an empty cup, and I’m worried that yours is getting pretty close to empty.

Please know I’m here for you, not just to listen but to remind you that you don’t have to do everything alone. Let’s find some time for you, even if it’s just a small moment to breathe and recharge. You deserve that.

You deserve to feel like yourself again.
And hey, if you need help—whether it’s tackling that to-do list or just venting about the week ahead—I’m here, okay?

Let’s make sure this doesn’t become the new normal, because you deserve so much more than just surviving. You deserve to thrive.
I’m here, always. 💜

15/08/2024

😓 Are You Feeling Overwhelmed in Your Role? 😫
10 years ago, I was in a place that might sound all too familiar. As a teacher, I was passionate and eager to make a difference, working 13, 14, and even 15-hour days to support my students and build a strong team.

But then, one day, I just hit a wall. I was there—engaged, present—and the next, I was completely drained.

I pushed myself too far, completely ignoring my own needs. And by the time I realised it, all the hard work and relationships I had spent years building started to crumble.

The stress consumed me. I experienced intense anxiety just driving toward the school, to the point where I’d avoid the area entirely. The emotional toll was unbearable.

I couldn’t stop thinking about the students I left behind, the fear that I had let them down, and the haunting sense that I had abandoned those who needed me.

During that time, I lost my ability to connect with anyone, even myself. I felt overwhelmed, emotional, and isolated. My mental and emotional resources were completely drained, and I didn’t know how to move forward.

Returning to school was out of the question because I had tied my entire self-worth to my work. Who was I without it?

✨ The reason I’m sharing this is to reach out to YOU before you find yourself in a similar situation.

It’s crucial to recognise the signs of burnout—stress, anxiety, exhaustion, insomnia, or unhealthy coping mechanisms—before they spiral out of control.

💬 If you’re feeling this way, there is support, and there are steps you can take to protect your well-being.

I’m hosting a workshop titled “How to Feel Safe and Have the Confidence to Set Boundaries That Put YOU First.”This workshop will help you reclaim your well-being while staying effective in your role.

📅 Date: Tuesday, 3rd September 2024
🕒 Time: 7:00 - 8:00 PM
📍 Location: 60-Minute Online Workshop

🗣️ If anything in this post resonates with you, DM me or comment below with ‘put me first.’

Take this step for yourself and the young people who depend on you. Your well-being is essential for their growth and success. ❤️
🔗 Scan the QR code to register today!

16/04/2024

Getting all our ducks in a row….🤣🤣🤣🤣

10/01/2024

💥 I kicked off 2024 with a powerful start! 💥

I conducted a Healthy Boundaries workshop for the Women’s team of a premier league football club, alongside the fantastic ‌Paul Bell and Dawn O’Hara from Instincts Training Ltd.

It was a joy to work with these incredible individuals.

The hands-on, practical approach of the Healthy Boundaries and Personal Safety training resonated remarkably well. The women's team actively engaged in role plays, sparking insightful discussions and boosting their confidence to ask crucial questions.

Boundaries and personal safety are important skills to learn for everyone, regardless of gender and I am so proud to be part of a forward thinking team and programme who aims to empower young women in being able to navigate their relationships and reduce their vulnerability.

For organisations seeking impactful workshops on Healthy Boundaries and Personal Safety, reach out!

We would love to deliver our transformative sessions to empower your teams.