17/05/2024
I want to write something about school refusal.
Imagine struggling with some kind of Mental Health illness that makes it really hard for you to go to school. It's absolutely not that you don't want to go, but that you can't go.
Then imagine and one (or more) of the following things happening:-
- You are told that if you don't attend, your parents will be fined;
- Your parents are blamed and shamed for not trying hard enough
- You are promised that you only have to attend (insert whatever you have been told) but then when you eventually get there, in spite of how you're feeling, the goalposts are moved;
- You are taken by a teacher, against your wishes, from your home into school;
- You have asked that the teacher doesn't keep asking you questions in class and have been told that they won't, but they do anyway;
- You are so worried about being told off, that you comply with everything, even though it makes you feel really ill and panicky; #
- You are told you don't have anxiety and/or depression;
- Meetings are held with several professionals to discuss you and nobody asks for you actual input, but makes guesses about what your input might be;
- Goals are set at these meetings that are not considered or realistic for achievement in your current state of illbeing;
- On top of your illbeing, you also have a neurodiverse condition which adds to your anxiety;
- And then on top of that, you have a physical condition which makes you physically tired;
- You are told you're not even trying to attain attendance;
- When you do the best you can by offering to do the school work at home, you are told that is absolutely not an option;
- You are taken off school roll, and essentially forgotten - and so ultimately, you lose what is rightfully yours - your education - and nobody even questions where you are.
(All of the above things are things that have happened with families I have worked with.)
Now imagine any of the above things happening to an adult in the workplace - on the whole, it just wouldn't! So if we wouldn't do it to adult, how can it be happening to our children?
Schools (and not all schools) need to be better, they need funding to better support our children, education to better understand how to meet the needs of these children and support from the "powers that be" to care better for our children.
These, I should quite firmly state, are just my thoughts!
