08/08/2025
I’m experiencing in my practice a lot of parents who are having difficult times with their children/ young adults. Not just now during the holidays but ongoing. The author Dan Siegel Writes wonderful books on children’s and adolescents brains, behaviour and how to help, developed and nurture our children and cope as a parent. If you’re looking for resources I highly recommend him.
But for now I shall leave you with this thought for today.
Your teenager's rebellion is not a sign that you should be their 'friend.'
It is a sign that they desperately need you to be their unwavering parent.
They slam the door, and you flinch.
They push you away, and you retreat, afraid of losing them.
You loosen the rules, trying to be the 'cool' parent they will like again.
Let's call it what it really is.
You are not 'giving them space.' You are abandoning your post.
Your teen is a ship in a storm, pushing against the harbor walls to see if they will hold.
When you crumble and try to be their friend, you are telling them the harbor is not safe.
They don't need another friend in the storm. They need an anchor.
Your job is to be the calm, consistent, and loving authority they can test themselves against.
They need to know that even when their own world feels chaotic, you are not.
They will not thank you for your boundaries today.
But one day, they will respect you for them.
Be the parent they need, not the friend they want.
Author: Arsalan Moin
