Toni Kearton Counselling

20/06/2025

One of the things I really like about private practice is having the flexibility to offer sessions on a weekly, fortnightly, monthly, and ad-hoc basis, depending on what you the client want and need. I do think, therapeutically, it's generally* a good idea to start with regular weekly or fortnightly sessions (*exceptions do occur!); but after doing a solid block of work, sometimes clients want to meet less frequently - for "check-in", or "consolidation", or "maintenance" (think MOT!) sessions, or to have the space to process something else that has come up in their life. I love that I can work like this (my diary permitting!). I'm also a very big believer in "trust the client" - it's your process, you know what you need, and I like that the number & frequency of our sessions can be chosen by you, not imposed from the outside.

06/06/2025

Here's another of my "how I think about counselling" metaphors. This time - it's a bulb. And actually it's two metaphors, for both flower & light bulbs!

It can be like a flower bulb. Sometimes, the counselling process can be quite slow; it can feel like hard work, like there's not much in the way of change to show for it. And then - suddenly - you see and feel shifts in your life, maybe in how you're feeling, how you're responding to events, how you're behaving. It's like that bulb - underground all winter, doing that work, storing up, waiting - and then come the spring, it shoots up, through the surface of the soil, grows, flowers. Here are the changes which are the result of all that hard work you've done; they wouldn't be happening without it. (And OK, if we're sticking with it as a flower bulb it was also doing a lot of storing energy during the previous summer... but you get my drift.)

As a lightbulb: that sudden growth visible on the surface - could be the switching on of the lightbulb too! As are those "eureka" moments during counselling when something suddenly becomes clear, some connection reveals itself, something drops into place.

26/03/2025

This is absolutely at the core of person-centred counselling - the power of this kind of listening. (Quote from Carl Rogers, the founder of the person-centred approach.)

👂 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐀𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐋𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐄𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐲 👂

Carl Rogers, in A Way of Being (Boston: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 1980, p.116), shares a powerful observation: "We think we listen, but very rarely do we listen with real understanding, true empathy. Yet listening, of this very special kind, is one of the most potent forces for change that I know."

This quote serves as a gentle reminder of the profound impact genuine listening can have. It’s not just about hearing words; it's about understanding the emotions and experiences behind them. Such empathetic listening can transform relationships, heal wounds, and foster growth.

💡 Key Significance to Counselling: Rogers’ insight underlines the essence of effective counselling and therapeutic relationships. The act of listening with empathy not only validates and acknowledges a person's feelings but also facilitates self-discovery and healing.

🌟 Takeaway: Let's strive to practice empathetic listening in our daily interactions. By truly understanding others, we create a space for positive change and deeper connection. It's a reminder that sometimes, the most supportive thing we can do is simply listen.

Share this to inspire a culture of empathy and understanding. Imagine the change we could foster if we all listened—not just to respond, but to understand. 💖

19/03/2025

It's always a privilege to walk alongside people for a part of their journey. I'm delighted to share this feedback from a recent client, with their permission of course.

"I've no doubt that my sessions with you have made all the difference getting me through the last few months and changing my mindset on how to deal with things. Thank you so much for listening and understanding, and your wise words of encouragement."

09/03/2025

Woo hoo, I've got my COSCA Practitioner Membership!... This doesn't make any practical difference to my work, but shows that I'm no longer a newbie, I've achieved a certain amount of experience since qualifying. I'm often working with clients around recognising achievements and when they're proud of themselves, so I'm trying here to do that myself. I love being in private practice, but working alone can sometimes be rather solitary (!), so going to "the next level" (so to speak) of membership of my professional body feels particularly cheering. (Pictures are from a recent trip west and just included because - beaches!)

07/03/2025

Counselling is… like we’re exploring a house... This is one of the ways I often explain my approach to counselling when I’m talking with new clients. Imagine that you, the you we’re going to explore in counselling, are a house; and also that you and I are exploring it together. What I’m not going to do is tell you to go straight down to the basement and start there. I’m not going to tell you “go up two flights of stairs, along the corridor to the left and then take the third door on the right”. Instead, we’ll enter the house together, have a look round the hall, and then you choose which door we open. You may already know where you want to start, or you may not. You may go straight in to the room ahead of me; or I might open the door for you. I may suggest we look at what’s behind another door, but it’s always your choice whether we open it or not. You may find as we explore that there are more corridors, hidden staircases and more rooms than you’d thought. And wherever we go, we explore together.

06/01/2025

I'm really pleased to be able to offer a limited number of low cost sessions at present. If you're thinking of counselling but can't afford the usual rate, please get in touch. The "guide price" for the low cost sessions is £20 per session, but lower may be possible too, depending on circumstance, for a max of 6 sessions. This is made possible by the generosity of a former client "paying it forward".

23/12/2024

I wish you all a peaceful Christmas, Hogmanay, and Solstice (for yesterday), and all the very best for 2025 when it comes. I'm now on leave, back on 6th January. (Photos from earlier this autumn, given the weather over the solstice has been a bit on the wet side to put it mildly...!)

16/12/2024

Following on from my previous post about HSP (Highly Sensitive Person)... I came across this talk recently, and thought it gave a good overview of HSP including some of the scientific research - as well as some good tips on supporting yourself as an HSP.

Do you have a keen imagination, rich inner life, and vivid dreams? Is time alone each day as essential as air? Do others call you too shy or overly sensiti...

13/12/2024

Neurodiversity.

I think it's important as a counsellor to have a reasonable awareness of neurodiversity, especially ADHD/ADD and autism, as they can, and will, appear in the counselling room (not to mention in personal life) - especially late-diagnosed (or in the slow process of being diagnosed) adults of all ages.

I don't diagnose (I'm not a medical doctor or a psychiatrist). I'm not an ADHD coach. I'm not a neurodiversity specialist. I don't have lots of techniques and tips (tho' may offer a few). But, what you'll find in my counselling room is a place for us to explore your experience together. We can explore questions like - what does (or would) a diagnosis mean for you? What helps when you're feeling overwhelmed/exhausted/(etc)? And, shall we look together at earlier parts of your life, revisiting and reframing them in the light of this new understanding?

Everyone's experience is different. And I strive to meet all my clients, wherever they are (I mean that both emotionally and geographically!), with empathy, understanding, and respect.

10/12/2024

So... at the weekend I'm more often to be found in the woods, or on the sofa with a book (!), but sometimes it's good to get outside your comfort zone, push the boundaries a bit, try something that you don't normally do... so this weekend saw me here... (and it was brilliant!). What are (good, positive) ways you've pushed the edges of your comfort zone outwards recently?