Best of You Consultancy

06/03/2026

Some neurodivergent people bounce out of relationships without always knowing why… then bounce straight into similar situations again.

Often there is a deeper psychological pattern underneath.

They may have grown up in environments where they were frequently misunderstood. Communication style, emotional responses, sensory needs, or attention patterns were often misread by others.

Over time this can quietly shape both self-belief and attachment style.

"I am too much.""I am not enough.""I am hard to love."

Then someone new arrives who feels exciting, understanding, or intensely connecting.

The relief can feel profound.

The brain lights up.Connection feels electric. Dopamine flows. And occasionally… a little limerence sneaks in too.

That early intensity can feel like finally being seen.

But when misunderstandings inevitably appear again, something familiar can happen.

Rejection sensitivity activates. Attachment fears may surface. Emotional intensity rises. Communication becomes strained.

Instead of recognising the underlying pattern, many people assume the relationship itself is the problem.

So they move on, hoping the next connection will finally feel easier.

But often this isn't a series of failed relationships.

It’s a pattern of unmet neurodivergent needs and attachment dynamics.

When people begin to understand their neurodivergence, something important changes.

They start to recognise their triggers. They learn how they communicate best. They become clearer about the environments and people who support them.

And when they learn how to communicate their own love language, everything begins to shift.

Relationships stabilise.

Not because they have found a perfect partner.

But because they finally understand themselves.

Awareness changes the pattern.

03/03/2026

https://bestofyouconsultancy.co.uk/blog/f/why-the-news-can-trigger-anxiety-why-taking-a-break-is-healthy

In a world of constant updates, dramatic headlines, and rolling coverage, many people find themselves feeling anxious, overwhelmed, or emotionally saturated by the news.

01/03/2026

The school had the provisions in place:

There was a SEND dept ✔︎
Adjustments were outlined ✔︎
Support plans were in place ✔︎
She had an EHCP ✔︎
Processes were followed ✔︎

On paper, the provision was there.

If she felt overwhelmed, she could leave the classroom and go to the SEND dept hub.

That was the agreed support.

But sometimes there is a difference between provision and experience.

When she walked into the hub, no one was unkind.

Yet something didn’t land for her.

The interactions felt neutral.
Efficient.
Task-focused.
Sometimes she didn’t feel welcome there.

There was not always a visible softening.
Or a pause that communicated, “You’re safe. Take your time.” Sometimes she was told she couldn’t be there.

For some neurodivergent young people, that relational layer absolutely makes all the difference.

They may interpret social cues differently.

But they are often highly sensitive to tone, pace and atmosphere.

They notice whether a space feels settled.
They sense whether there is time.
They feel whether their presence is fully welcomed.

When she accessed the SEND dept hub, it was usually brief.

A reset.
A short regulation window.
Then a return to class.

Which is often the intention of these spaces.

But for some young people, especially those already in a heightened state, a short, task-focused intervention does not always translate into felt safety.

Over time, she stopped going.

From the outside, that could look like disengagement from support.

Yet in my work with a growing number of school-refusing neurodivergent young people, this theme appears again and again.

Provision is in place.
Plans are written.
Intentions are supportive.

But the young person’s nervous system does not experience the space as safe.

This isn’t about blame.

Schools are under pressure and working within real constraints.

It’s about recognising that support is both structural and relational.

A SEND dept hub isn’t just a room.
It’s an emotional environment.

When a young person leaves a classroom in overwhelm, what meets them next can shape whether they seek help again.

Sometimes the smallest shifts in tone, pace or expression can make the biggest difference.

And that’s where collaboration really matters.

I also run a CPD accredited course for professionals, on neurodiversity, including how to manage scenarios like the above, because it really matters.

23/02/2026

https://www.bps.org.uk/psychologist/when-it-looks-adhd-probably-isnt

Caralyn Bains on rising awareness, and rising complexity.

21/02/2026

If I could tell my 18 year-old neurodivergent self anything, it would be this:

Trust your gut. It knows more than you think.

Don’t let limerence convince you that intensity is the same as love.

Learn to forgive yourself sooner.
Forgive others too.
And make peace with the apology you may never receive.

Never apologise for your body.
Not for how you look.
Not for the space you take up.
Not for your physical form.

And perhaps most importantly:

You don’t feel different when you’re older.

You imagine you’ll become someone else.
Wiser. More certain. More “finished.”

But the internal voice is still you.
At 18.
At 30.
At 50.
And for the whole of your life
It’s the same voice.
Just hopefully steadier.

19/02/2026

I made these cards to represent women with ADHD at their best, or when burnt out, to help women to recognise their strengths and their moments of weakness when they need to find regulation, positive dopamine seeking and motivation. Here are just a few of the deck.

15/02/2026

When It Looks Like ADHD… But Isn’t

A woman came to me presenting with what many would describe as “classic ADHD symptoms.”
• Poor concentration
• Forgetfulness
• Emotional dysregulation
• Overwhelm
• Task paralysis
• Chronic procrastination

On the surface, it seemed straightforward.

But ADHD is a neurodevelopmental condition.
Which means, by definition, there must be evidence of traits in childhood.

When we explored her early years carefully and thoroughly, something important emerged:

There was no childhood history of inattention, impulsivity, academic difficulty, behavioural concerns, or functional impairment.

She described herself as organised. Focused. Capable. Consistent.

The symptoms had started in adulthood.

That matters.

So we explored further.

As we gently mapped the timeline, a pattern emerged: significant trauma across her adult life. Loss. Relational stress. Prolonged emotional threat. Chronic nervous system activation.

And when we lined up the onset of her “ADHD symptoms” with these events - they matched.

What she was experiencing wasn’t neurodevelopmental difference.

It was a dysregulated nervous system.

Hypervigilance can look like distractibility.
Emotional flooding can look like impulsivity.
Shutdown can look like executive dysfunction.
Cognitive overload can look like inattention.

But the root cause is different.

She did not go forward for ADHD assessment.

She did not receive an ADHD diagnosis.

Instead, she began trauma-focused coaching.

And as her nervous system settled, her concentration improved. Her emotional regulation strengthened. Her executive function returned.

This is why differential diagnosis matters.

As assessors, we have an ethical responsibility to look beyond surface presentation. To explore developmental history. To map symptom onset. To consider trauma, anxiety, depression, burnout, hormonal shifts, sleep disruption, and chronic stress.

Childhood history is not a formality.
It is foundational.

Not every adult who struggles with focus has ADHD.
Sometimes the brain is not disordered.
Sometimes it is overwhelmed.

Careful assessment protects clients from misdiagnosis.
And sometimes the most validating outcome is not a diagnosis, but clarity.

15/02/2026

11/02/2026

The Vitamins and Minerals the ADHD Body May Need

ADHD is often discussed through attention, impulsivity, or executive functioning, yet underneath these experiences sits a nervous system that relies on steady biochemical support. Nutrition does not “treat” ADHD in isolation, but the right balance of vitamins, minerals, and macronutrients can help the brain regulate energy, mood, and focus more consistently.

Rather than thinking of supplements as a cure, it’s be more helpful to view them as foundational scaffolding that support cognitive resilience.

Magnesium: Supporting Calm and Nervous System Regulation

Magnesium plays a role in neurotransmitter balance and muscle relaxation. Many people with ADHD describe a body that feels constantly “switched on,” and magnesium is involved in the regulation of the stress response and sleep quality.

Low magnesium levels have been linked in some research to irritability, restlessness, and difficulty winding down at night. Foods such as leafy greens, nuts, seeds, and dark chocolate can contribute to intake, while some individuals explore supplementation under professional guidance.

Omega-3 Fatty Acids: Brain Structure and Communication

Omega-3 fatty acids, particularly EPA and DHA, are essential components of brain cell membranes. They help support communication between neurons, which is central to attention and emotional regulation.

Research has suggested that some individuals with ADHD may benefit from increased omega-3 intake, especially where dietary sources like oily fish are limited. Omega-3s are not a replacement for clinical support, but they may contribute to steadier cognitive functioning over time.

Iron: Dopamine Production and Mental Energy

Iron is closely linked to dopamine synthesis, a neurotransmitter often discussed in ADHD. Low iron levels can contribute to fatigue, reduced concentration, and restless sleep.

Because iron supplementation is not appropriate for everyone, it is important that levels are assessed through a GP or clinician before considering additional intake. Iron-rich foods include lentils, spinach, fortified cereals, and red meat.

Zinc: Attention and Cognitive Processing

Zinc plays a role in neurotransmitter function and immune health. Some studies have explored associations between zinc levels and attentional regulation, though findings are still developing.

Whole foods such as pumpkin seeds, chickpeas, and seafood provide natural sources of zinc, supporting a balanced nutritional approach rather than relying solely on supplements.

Vitamin D: Mood, Immunity, and Cognitive Wellbeing

Vitamin D supports mood regulation, immune function, and overall neurological health. In the UK, lower sunlight exposure means many people experience reduced vitamin D levels, particularly during winter months.

Those with ADHD who notice dips in mood or energy seasonally, check your vitamin D status with a healthcare professional.

B Vitamins: Energy, Focus, and Emotional Regulation

B vitamins, especially B6, B12, and folate, are involved in energy production and neurotransmitter synthesis. They help the brain convert food into usable fuel, which can influence concentration and mental stamina.

A balanced diet including whole grains, eggs, legumes, and leafy vegetables can support these pathways. Some people explore B-complex supplements when dietary intake is inconsistent.

Protein and Electrolytes: The Often Overlooked Foundations

Beyond vitamins and minerals, consistent protein intake helps stabilise blood sugar and supports neurotransmitter production. For many people with ADHD, irregular eating patterns can lead to energy crashes that mimic or amplify symptoms.

Electrolytes such as sodium and potassium also contribute to nerve signalling and hydration. Small adjustments, like starting the day with protein and maintaining steady fluid intake, can make a noticeable difference. I have POTs and so I definitely need electrolytes.

A Balanced Perspective

It’s important to approach nutrition with nuance. ADHD is not caused by a vitamin deficiency, and supplements aren’t a substitute for psychological support, coaching, medication, or environmental adjustments. However, when the body is nourished, the nervous system may find it easier to regulate attention, emotion, and energy.

For practitioners and individuals alike, the goal is not perfection but awareness: noticing how sleep, nutrition, movement, and emotional safety interact to create the conditions for focus and resilience and repeat the things that help you the most as regularly as you can.

10/02/2026

For children’s mental health week, take a look at digital culture and mental health.

Psychologist Caralyn Bains, an Associate Fellow of the British Psychological Society, looks at ways to build emotional immunity in neurodivergent teens navigating social media.