The ADHD mum

21/02/2023

I'm over on tiktok - come say hi!!!

I finally officially have my diagnosis!!!

24/11/2020

Adhd and autism diagnosis explains a lot!
For anyone really struggling right now I'm always there for you.
We are currently going through the diagnosis part again with my younger son which I'm planning on blogging to show people the process you go through ♥️

24/10/2020

This is so accurate!

Oh hi there half term...

In England and Wales it's half term at the moment. The kids get a week or two off school and the teachers have a well earned rest!

When kiddo was younger I used to dread the school holidays. It seemed like an endless stretch of no sleep, constant hyper vigilance and some kind of attempt to give your child the "normal" outings that everyone else seemed to sail through with huge smiles and Instagram perfect pictures.

Nowadays I don't feel that way. My child is at the right school and much more regulated with his hyperactivity and moods, but most of all I now get respite.
I've seen people online say things like, "why have children if you don't want them around?" or "you should be treasuring these times with your children!". There's something I need to put straight about phrases like this.

Just because you don't look forward to the school holidays doesn't mean you don't love your child to the ends of the earth and beyond. End of.

When you have a disabled child, school holidays consist of medical routines and constant round the clock care. Keeping your child safe ends up being the number one task for the holiday. It can be terrifying and exhausting, yet you get labelled as someone who isn't grateful to have your child.
Last night, less than 2 hours into half term, kiddo broke into the bathroom. He broke through two locks and ran a bath. We belted up the stairs at the sound of the water and cleaned up the mess we found. While we were doing that, kiddo decided to personally water the landing carpet 🤦‍♀️ simply because he thought it was hilarious. A few years ago this would have reduced me to tears. How could I keep this up for a week, 2 weeks or 6 weeks?

Nowadays I can see the funny side, because we get help in the holidays. It was a HUGE fight to get it and more stress than you can imagine. So many families don't get any help in the holidays.

So if you see a family struggling in half term, don't think them ungrateful or lazy. They're dealing with things you can't even imagine.

Photo: kiddo "hiding" in a box 😆🥰

22/10/2020

This is from 2 years ago - I'm hoping it helps another person out there's who's struggling ❤️

Oh the varieties of parenthood!
Friday was Leos birthday. Friday was the day I lost my s**t big time. Friday saw me cancel his birthday. Friday saw my son's laugh in my face and take the absolute p**s. Friday saw me get a knife and burst his birthday balloons and black sack his birthday gifts. Friday saw my kids sob. Friday saw me sob. Friday saw me vent to my sister and friends while i abandoned them in a soft play area for 5 minutes of peace. Friday saw me avoid my kids and hide in my room with the baby. Friday witnessed countless emails to my husband pleading for him to be home to rescue me. Friday ended better with positive swimming lessons and pizza hut for dinner, because bo****ks was I cooking!
I feared Monday.
However I will order another Monday for tomorrow. Monday gave me a lay in. Monday allowed me to snuggle in bed with my 3 son's and watch a movie. Monday let me give the boys birthday cake for breakfast. Monday brought us a chilled morning. Monday allowed me to venture out to the library. Monday allowed me to enjoy our time in the library and not fear a meltdown. Monday gave me the opportunity to watch my son go from book to book trying so desperately to decide which one or 7 to borrow. Monday allowed for Leo to explore phonics books and play with a friend he saw there. Monday allowed me to be brave enough to take all 3 to a cafe. Monday allowed me to have an enjoyable, dare I say it relaxed lunch - IN PUBLIC! Monday - I sent my husband a happy work email saying how enjoyable my day was. Monday enabled my boys to laugh at my lack of ability at playing fifa with them (look I tried!) Monday saw my husband walk through the door to a happy home and not a broken wife chucking the baby at him. Monday gave us a fun family dinner at the table. Finally, Monday saw my kids go to bed reading their new library books. I love you Monday. Thankyou for enabling me to fall head over heels in love with my kids again. Thankyou for healing and reviving a broken mother. 💝

10/10/2020

Thankyou for raising awareness!

October is ADHD Awareness Month. As hard as it can be with ADHD, you are more than your condition.

24/09/2020

Step 1 to an adhd diagnosis - the first people don't believe you!
Anyone else experienced this? This was my experience with my first son and it looks like we are about to go into round 2 with my second 😭
I'm drained and exhausted from this constant need to fight and kick up a fuss as it's just not in my nature. But, they're my kids and I absolutely will do what I can for them and attempt to be heard for them. Covid is now about to put a whole new set of problems in the way 🤬 so let's hope the long term implications of that aren't damaging. I really, really hope I'm wrong with son no 2, but my mum gut feeling has been right every other time!

19/09/2020

2 weeks back at school so far, how's everyone doing?
Mr H has settled back in surprisingly well but my other son is having a lot of difficulties (I suspect adhd and/or dyspraxia but we have a long road ahead of us as old rona put a halt on all his observations and progress we made)

Both my boys are playing in football teams which is amazing and something I don't think I ever thought I would see.

To anyone struggling right now, reach out to the right people as you will find help and support

Xx

12/08/2020

31/07/2020

And it's super draining!

18/07/2020

The struggle is real for our kids - I could see on Harry's report which lessons he has zero interest in and which he can hyperfocus on.

I'm just going to shout this for the back if the room.

HAVING ADHD DOES NOT MAKE YOU STUPID OR LACKING IN INTELLIGENCE!

17/07/2020

My Child Has ADHD.

As a parent, I need to support them for longer and in more ways than parents of neurotypical children. My child might be 30% "younger" because of their lagging executive skills compared to their peers. This means when my child is 11 their ability to control their emotions will look more like a 7-year-old. I will need to support them in ALL areas of their life. Not just school. Everything from helping them put away laundry to staying focused on homework. It is not easy being a parent of an ADHDer.

We as parents need allies. People in our lives who don't question how we are helping our child. Judging by comparing them to other children. We need people who can see the light at the end of the tunnel. This child WILL grow up and be a fully functioning adult. (Hopefully because of our support an adult with minimal ADHD issues because we will have found solutions, systems and communication to help along the way)