Elspetherapy, Gullane (2025)

20/11/2025

If you’ve ever found yourself spiralling after a tiny comment, a delayed reply, or even just a slightly “off” tone and your brain immediately jumps to “I’ve messed up… they’re annoyed… I’ve done something wrong” you’re not alone.

So many adults with ADHD experience this intense emotional crash around rejection or criticism, and I’ve been exploring why it feels so big and why self-criticism might actually be making it louder.

I’ve written a new blog on how our internal voice can shape RSD, make us more sensitive to perceived rejection, and what can help. If this is something you struggle with, please read on. Link in comments 🔗

19/11/2025

Last week, I lost my phone.
And honestly, for a moment, I lost my head with it.

My husband and I had a rare child-free weekday lunch (a luxury in itself).
Good food, good chat, sunshine… that sweet feeling of remembering you’re a person as well as a parent.

We got home feeling refreshed — until I realised my phone was nowhere to be seen.
Bag? No.
Car? No.
Jacket? No.
Called it from my watch… nothing.

Then it hit me: I’d left it in Burger King.
Not exactly the glamorous part of the story, but here we are.

Cue rising panic:
“What if someone’s stolen it?”
“They’ll get into my accounts.”
“Oh god, what an idiot — how did I not notice?”

And there it was — the shame spiral.
Not just “I lost my phone,” but
“I’m careless. I’m irresponsible. This is why I can’t have nice things.”

That teenage version of me, the one who got told off for forgetting things, came barging in with all the old scripts.
My nervous system went into full crisis mode over… a phone.

And then — thankfully — therapy brain kicked in.
(And so did my husband, who gently reminded me I’m a human, not a machine.)

A kinder voice showed up:
“Anyone could do this.”
“It’s an inconvenience, not a character flaw.”
“You’re not stupid — you’re tired and human.”

My body calmed.
My thinking returned.
I called EE, got it sorted, and the world didn’t end.

The biggest consequence?
No phone for a day or two and re-logging into apps.
(Which, honestly, was almost peaceful.)

It made me think about how quickly we can go from mistake → self-attack, especially if we’ve got a history of being called careless, forgetful, disorganised or “too… something.”

Old stories have long claws.

Therapy hasn’t made me mistake-proof — far from it.
But it has changed how I speak to myself when things go wrong.
And that has made all the difference.

Does this happen to you too?
When you make a small mistake, where does your mind go?
What helps you climb out of the shame spiral when it hits?

I’d genuinely love to know — drop your thoughts below 👇

(And here’s to more child-free lunches… and fewer phone dramas.)

13/11/2025

Working from home perk or hazard?
I can’t decide… but Thomas certainly can.

Today’s office set-up involved a heated blanket, a cup of tea, and one very committed feline “colleague” who planted himself firmly on my feet and refused to move.

Apparently he’s head of Therapeutic Foot Warming & Emotional Regulation Support.
(And honestly? He’s excellent at his job.)

There’s something strangely calming about having a cat pin you to your chair —
a purring reminder to stay put, breathe, and work at a human pace.
Grounding, soothing… and mildly hostage-situation-like when you need to get up.

WFH life is unpredictable, but a cat blanket definitely helps.

If you work from home — what do your animal co-workers do?
Do they supervise? Distract? Provide emotional support?
Or “accidentally” schedule breaks by sitting on your keyboard?

Tell me below 👇 and feel free to share their job titles — Thomas is keen to know who else is out there in the Pet-Professional field 😼

12/11/2025

You love your child — and you are exhausted.

Not the “bit tired, need a coffee” kind.
The deep-in-your-bones, nervous-system-fried, running-on-fumes kind.

Because you’re not just parenting.
You’re:
the planner, organiser, emotional buffer, appointment-keeper, meltdown-soother, school-email reader, routine-holder, and professional “Can we please just put our shoes on?” negotiator.

You’re juggling behaviour plans, meds, sensory needs, school calls, friendships, sleep (or lack of it), and a system that isn’t built for neurodivergent kids — or parents.

And maybe you’re noticing bits of their ADHD in you too.
But you don’t have time to figure yourself out because you’re in survival mode.

You keep going because you love them so much it hurts.
But inside?
You’re burnt out, guilty for wanting space, and struggling to remember who you are outside being the parent that holds everything together.

You deserve support too.
You deserve rest.
You deserve somewhere to exhale and say, “This is hard,” without fear of judgement.

If you need someone in your corner — I’m here.
DM me for a free 15-minute chat.
You don’t have to do this alone.

07/11/2025

I read this BBC article yesterday and, sadly, nothing about it surprised me.

https://lnkd.in/etewZ7PN

Every week, I speak to people who are waiting months, sometimes years, for an ADHD assessment. They’re struggling to keep their jobs, their relationships, and their self esteem intact while they wait for a system that’s buckling under demand.

The impact of not getting a diagnosis or the right support isn’t just about medication. It’s about what happens without it - the self doubt, the shame, the struggling to manage daily life. It’s the challenges at work because reasonable adjustments aren’t in place. It’s the exhaustion of trying to stay afloat while feeling like you’re drowning.

For those who can afford to go private, that option can be life changing but with the NHS cracking down on shared care, they’re now having to pay up to hundreds of pounds a month just to access medication that helps them live a life others take for granted.

And for many others, it’s not an option at all.
I’ve spoken to people who’ve taken out credit cards or loans because they’re so desperate for help. That’s how broken the system feels.

Here in Scotland, even within NHS Lothian where I live, it can be a postcode lottery. I see people through my work with a mental health charity who are doing everything they can to cope while they wait, often for years, for an assessment. Their mental health deteriorates, their confidence plummets, and the shame deepens.

We know that ADHD is overrepresented in prisons and underdiagnosed in healthcare, yet it still isn’t treated as a priority.

It shouldn’t be this hard for people to get help for something that affects every part of their lives.

Getting the right diagnosis, treatment, and understanding isn’t a luxury, it’s a lifeline.
And until that’s recognised at every level of the system, too many people will continue to be dismissed and forgotten about by another system that doesn’t work for them.

🔗Link to article in the comments

06/11/2025

If you’ve spent years telling yourself you “should” be able to cope… stay organised… remember things… finish what you start… and yet something invisible keeps getting in the way — you’re not failing.

You’ve just been trying to use tools that were never designed for your brain.

Most adults with ADHD (diagnosed or still wondering) have already tried:
✅ planners, apps, routines
✅ “trying harder”
✅ masking and pushing through

And at some point, you realise it’s not lack of effort — it’s fatigue from years of trying to fit a system that never fit you.

My work isn’t about forcing motivation or giving generic tips.
It’s about:
✨ understanding how your brain works
✨ rebuilding trust in yourself
✨ using your strengths, not fighting your wiring
✨ tiny, sustainable changes that actually stick
✨ unpacking the shame & self-doubt that’s been there for years

You don’t need to prove anything.
You don’t need to “look ADHD enough.”
You get to show up exactly as you are — overwhelmed, curious, exhausted, hopeful — and we go from there.

If you’d like support that actually fits your brain and your life, DM me for a free 15-minute chat ❤️

05/11/2025

If you’ve ever wondered whether you “really” have ADHD or you’re just failing at life — you’re not alone.

So many adults tell me the same things before seeking assessment or support:
✨ “What if I say the wrong thing?”
✨ “What if they think I’m fine?”
✨ “What if I’m wasting everyone’s time?”
✨ “What if I’m just lazy / dramatic / not trying hard enough?”

That mix of imposter syndrome, nerves, fear of judgment, and feeling like you’re sitting an exam you might fail?
Yep — it’s incredibly common.

And when the diagnosis comes (if you choose to pursue one), it’s rarely just relief.
It’s:
🔹 Oh… so that’s why everything’s been so hard
🔹 Finally being seen
🔹 Grief for the years spent trying to “just cope”
🔹 “Right… now what?”

Diagnosis isn’t the end — it’s the beginning of understanding yourself differently.
And some people never pursue diagnosis at all and still find huge clarity and support. Both paths are valid.

If you’re in that uncertain stage, questioning everything, trying to hold it together while quietly struggling — you don’t have to do it alone.

Support exists. You get to have help. You don’t need to earn it by suffering quietly first.

DM me if you want to chat about therapy or support options.

29/10/2025

If you’ve ever been late even though you really meant to be on time, or lost an hour to something that felt like five minutes that’s time blindness.

For many adults with ADHD, time feels slippery there’s only now and not now. The future doesn’t feel real until it’s right in front of you.

In my new blog, I talk about why this happens and share small, practical ways to make time visible from visual timers to naming alarms that help your brain feel time passing.

Link in comments 🔗

23/10/2025

A client said to me recently, “I can’t tell you how much last night’s session helped me.”

It wasn’t a dramatic breakthrough - just one of those quiet, gentle sessions where something clicks.

A new piece of insight.
A small shift in perspective.
A different way to try something that’s felt stuck for a long time.

That’s the real work of therapy - slow, steady changes that begin to add up. Over time, you start to notice you:
✨ Worry less about getting everything right.
✨ Feel less tense in your body.
✨ Respond rather than react.
✨ Begin to feel more you again - clearer, lighter, more steady inside.

Therapy isn’t about fixing you. It’s about making sense of things and finding your footing again.

If you’re ready to start that process, DM me to book a free initial chat about how therapy could help.

22/10/2025

When you can’t stop thinking about what happened at work…

You left the job months ago.

You know it wasn’t right for you.

But your brain keeps replaying it - the conversations, the goodbyes, the silence that followed.

👉 “Why didn’t they fight to keep me?”

👉 “Did they even value me?”

👉 “What did I do wrong?”

If you have ADHD, this kind of rumination can hit hard.

It’s not that you want to dwell, your brain is trying to make sense of what happened.

It’s craving closure, clarity, stimulation.

In therapy, we talk about this a lot.

Because it’s not really about the job, it’s about what it meant:

Feeling unseen
Feeling like you didn’t matter
Feeling like you failed somehow

Here’s what helps ⤵️

✨ Name the thought, don’t become it.

“I’m noticing the thought that they didn’t value me.”
It gives you distance. You don’t have to fight the thought, just step back and see it.

✨ Redirect the energy.

ADHD brains need stimulation so give it to yourself in ways that help you heal:

A walk. Music. Journaling. Reaching out to someone who does see you.

You don’t have to “just move on.”

You can move through it with awareness, compassion, and choice.

🧠💛

02/10/2025

Yesterday was one of those funk days - demotivated, lethargic, blah. 99% of me didn’t want to do anything. But I scraped together the 1% that kept me going.

Tasks still felt heavy, so I dragged myself out for a walk (my mantra: you never regret exercise). At first, all I noticed was how rubbish I felt… but slowly, something lifted. Not a huge change, just enough to lighten the load.

Motivation didn’t magically appear. I had to move first.
Sometimes that’s all we can do: one small step, then another.

If you’re in a funk today, you’re not alone. Keep going - relief, not perfection, might just be waiting on the other side.

01/10/2025

Ever sat staring at a task - laundry, emails, an assignment and just… couldn’t start? For many adults with ADHD, that’s task paralysis. It’s not about willpower. It’s the freeze response of an overwhelmed brain.

I’ve written a new blog about why it happens and how small shifts can help you get unstuck. Link in comments 🔗

Elspetherapy

20/11/2025

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07/11/2025

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