Marica Binns -Calderdale Counselling

24/07/2025

23/07/2025

A useful phrase to use on your kids when they’re being little sods….
“Your nice version is amazing, but your not so nice version lets you down. Can I help you change the second one?”
(Far better than saying “Behave yourself or I’ll be taking mi’ toffee hammer to your head!”)🤣

22/07/2025

LISTEN……
DO NOT pick a job that you do not want to do. If you picked one that you now cannot bloody’well stand, then seek something that suits you better.
ITS NEVER TOO LATE TO CHANGE YOUR JOB! You’ll have transferable skills, another employer will want you, you will be valued elsewhere.

21/07/2025

Living in a dark capsule and feeling miserable? What you need is to cross Bulgaria on a donkey or keep pot-bellied pigs or possibly see a therapist 😜

21/07/2025

Sometimes you don’t hear from someone and it puts you in that ‘they don’t care’ mindset.
Yet I do think that often, it’s because the other person is on their personal journey that may be difficult for them and requires all their time and energy. (Or maybe they’ve forgotten that it’s their turn to reply because life is so hectic right now?)
Try not to take it personally. If they’ve generally been a good, reliable friend, then give them time to do their thing without feeling sidelined.

17/07/2025

Emotions folks:-
ANGER can be reasonably tolerable to deal with and it usually lessens for you over time.
HURT well that’s a different emotional state completely and can haunt you for years.
HAPPINESS is fabulous but happens quite rarely. We’re usually more in a state of ‘content’ as opposed to ‘happiness.’
FEAR can be short or long lasting but there’s more chance of fear abating than there is ‘hurt.’
SADNESS generally heals over time.
I wonder which particular emotion you’re feeling this week?

16/07/2025

This’ll be controversial but here goes…..100yrs ago when I did my training in family mediation, we were always taught to encourage parents to give their child a household ‘job’ from the age of 7.
Something simple to start (dusting a room, pairing washed socks, clearing plates after dinner) gradually increasing the responsibility as they become teenagers.
Not for payment/not to earn pocket money, but simply to teach them a life lesson about responsibility, team playing and fairness.
Namely….that in order for a family to thrive and be productive, it takes every single member to play their part in its success. (Just like a work team)
Eg. “So I’ve cooked your dinner and then I’ll drive you you to gym club so you can help me by stacking the dishwasher”
You with me so far?
For some of you this will touch a nerve - you may be thinking “we’re the parents-it’s our job to sort our kids” you may be right. However, on the flip side, what you’re actually teaching is that life is full of ‘free rides’ without them having to give back.
You’ll likely want your kids to ‘fit in’ and be well liked when they eventually go to uni and share a house/kitchen with others. You’ll want them to be a helpful and caring partner when they find a romantic connection, you’ll want them to be a productive and motivated person in their adult life and you’ll want them to be respected at work; Yet it may not happen if they grow into adulthood with a sense of entitlement and no responsibility.
If you currently don’t give your child chores, then try it and see! It’ll give them a sense of accomplishment, teach them time management, responsibility and most of all they’ll learn that their contribution is useful.
My kids are in their forties but we still laugh about them bickering as youngsters over whose turn it was to clear the table, wash up and dry! (They took it in turns to dust but I always had to go over it again 🤣)

15/07/2025

Lone Parenting and working at the same time was one of the biggest conflicts I’ve had to endure.
The need to be there for them when school closed early or one of them was sick, coupled with the need to earn money for us.
I didn’t want to ‘have it all.’ I’d have stayed home if I could whilst mine were young. They were my everything.
If you’re lone-parenting, I salute you. Your children will never forget what you gave them, even if they don’t appear to appreciate it at the time.
Keep on keeping on!

02/07/2025

STRENGTH is letting go when you desperately want to hang on...

30/06/2025

Do you sometimes feel like two people at once? Maybe you experience bouts of DISSOCIATION?
Being both past and present at the same time?
Being present in a real life scene but not feeling like you’re really there? Overwhelmed but numb?
Being with others but feeling like you’re watching yourself in a film and you’re not really there taking part?
Feeling like you’re floating away?
Dissociation is a mental process of detaching yourself from your emotions and feelings. Some people also feel like they’ve lost sense of their identity.
It’s likely not serious and is considered a normal phenomenon, but if you feel like it’s taking a hold on your life or you’re losing periods of time, speak to your GP please.