Marica Binns -Calderdale Counselling

12/09/2025

Massive shout out to all of you who’ve cried tears of despair this week due to a trauma or sadness of any kind……WHILST still ‘juggling all the balls’ to keep life on an even keel for the sake of others…. I salute you all ❤️

11/09/2025

Hands up if you thought you’d found that one special soulmate….
Only to find yourself sat on your phone at 3am researching Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

10/09/2025

Someone I know and care about died yesterday. Emotions took me straight back to my days working in a hospice, and that overall feeling of ‘unfairness’ tinged with deep sadness. She was too young and still had a lot of life to live. Families always feel cheated or ‘robbed’ when their loved one dies before old age. It’s understandable.
Many of my dying patients would remind me to ‘grab’ life and just enjoy experiences. Focus less on the small, niggly, routine stuff and fill as many of my days as possible with fun, people, music, experiences, love, food, travel, warmth, care, and anything else likely to bring a smile to my face.
It is possible to find joy in the most boring of days. It may be a moment that makes you smile or a late night comedy show on tv that sends you to bed laughing. You could be in pain but still enjoy a lovely view from your window.
Look for the joy and the fun if you can. It’s always hiding round every corner…. Even on the sh*ttiest of days ❤️

09/09/2025

Social media gives us access to other people’s lives so we think we know them. THIS IS A SKEWED VIEW!
There is so much more to a person’s life than can ever be revealed by a post or pic….

05/09/2025

05/09/2025

It can really feel like we’re living in dangerous times and everyone around us is bad; yet it’s my belief that most people are good. We need to remember that.
Most people donate money to something they care about. Most people would help a stranger in distress. Most people adore their friends, family and pets and most people would feel a deep sense of sadness for someone they don’t even know who was suffering.
Most people ARE good.

04/09/2025

Your warm heart will warm others when you share your warmth.

03/09/2025

Is your doctor gaslighting you?
‘Gaslighting’ happens when one person tries to convince another to question their instincts and doubt their perception that something is real.
So...... ‘Medical Gaslighting’ happens when a doctor will downplay or write off symptoms you KNOW you're feeling, and instead try to convince you they're caused by something else like anxiety or depression, or may even suggest you're imagining them.

03/09/2025

***CRINGE ALERT***
S E X after 60? Well that would be a massive YES for many I bet!
Mature couples have the same (if not more) intimacy than they had decades ago! They’ve nothing to prove with long-term partners, fewer distractions, no pregnancy concerns, and a load more free time. Plus, they have more ‘know-how’ and ‘done-that’ than the young’uns!
And don’t worry if your ‘bits & parts’ don’t work quite as well as before….there is much more to intimacy than 1970’s S E X manuals taught us!
I bet I see more older couples for intimacy therapy than any other age group!

02/09/2025

What if one day you realise your whole life has been wrong?
You know what your ‘spark’ is but you end up dying with that spark still inside you that you never activated….
You know you’ve always wanted to write a song, live abroad, learn to dance, play an instrument…. Yet you’ve never got round to doing anything about it.
Maybe you’ve always wanted to leave a stale relationship, sever ties with someone that doesn’t align with you, learn a new trade or profession or just ride a horse?
Don’t die with that ignored ‘spark’ within you.

01/09/2025

Growing old doesn’t have to be the closing act - the final curtain.
For many, it can be the most calming, creative and beautiful chapter, if you just let yourself blossom again…..

29/08/2025

How many of us have had our hearts broken by a partner or spouse? (Hands going up all around!)
It’s a bu**er.... Letting go of someone you still love is one of the most difficult things ever, yet sometimes…it’s necessary. That level of pain is like a subtle poison. Maybe my suggestions will help you.

CUT ALL CONTACT: Unless you require minimal contact over children/finances/possessions etc. then sever ties as quickly as possible. You’ll never heal if you keep them close at hand. Phone numbers/info/pics/emails etc. have to go. Block them on social media so you are not able to check them out when you’re feeling low. That’s way too painful!
(You’re not erasing your memory, just removing your ability to potentially contact them the next time you’re in a moment of weakness and might think of making contact)

FACE THE PAIN HEAD ON: Allow yourself to simply be with whatever you’re feeling, even if it’s uncomfortable. Over time, the mind has a way of settling itself if you allow it to focus in on the pain.

STOP IMAGINING: As you begin to heal you’ll remember the good stuff (we always remember the good stuff!) and you may be tempted to imagine that maybe... just maybe things could work out if you give it one more try. This process is your brain trying to keep you away from the pain again. Try taking yourself back in time and remind yourself of all the rubbish times you’ve had in the latter part of that relationship. The hours you sobbed, the emotional turmoil you felt, the times you despaired and wanted to run for the hills and never return! Remember the bad stuff to reinforce the reason why you split.

ACKNOWLEDGE YOU’RE GRIEVING: Much like the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship is a loss and with loss comes grief. Denial and isolation, anger, sadness and acceptance are all normal stages of the process.

TAKE TIME - DON’T RUSH: Just like grieving, healing is a process. Give it time to run its course. Take it one day at a time and learn to manage expectations to avoid setting yourself up for disappointment. Accept that with grief you always take two steps forward and one step back, thus you’ll have great weeks followed by some ‘down’ days. It’s never linear.

PRACTICE SELF CARE: One way you can be more loving towards yourself is by acknowledging your role in what went wrong in the relationship while reminding yourself that there were 2 of you involved, and you both contributed to what happened, in your own way.

DARE TO LIVE: Go out into the world and start living. Pursue a new passion, meet new people, or go on an adventure. Whatever it is, start creating new experiences, memories, and connections to replace the old memories. The more you do this, the easier it will be to move on.

If this is you right now, then my heart goes out to you. I’ve been there... more than once TBQHWY. (Ooh it hurts!)
If you’re really struggling, book in and see me... I’ll do my best to help you make sense of it all.
Ma**ca x