Amy Engleman. Psychotherapist & Counsellor

02/05/2024

Our ability to develop tolerance of the space when curiosity lives is a powerful place. The gap between old noise, old stories, things that have stuck and are now outdated. The space before new awakenings, new knowledge, wisdom.

This space, the gap is hard. Often painful. Activating and trauma sensitive. It can be the hardest pace to pause and sit, and yet this is where the gold is. This is where we find ourselves.

This is where we find our way out of the looping cycles. This is where we release ourselves from the trauma.

This is in part what we do, when ready in my room. In trauma therapy. We gently, often slowly walk towards the gap. With compassion, but also with support and a space that holds when you don't know how to hold yourself.

24/07/2023

Taking a break from psychotherapy can sometimes feel overwhelming, but it can also present an opportunity for growth, self-reflection, and rejuvenation. In this article, we'll explore 10 essential strategies to help you navigate the summer break and make the most of your therapy-free time.

Psychotherapist Amy Engleman shares ideas to try when taking a break from therapy.

29/01/2023

Thankyou Grace for inviting me to share your space today.
Talking about boundaries in action.

10/05/2021

We can assume, guess, wonder and judge each other but until we have sat with another and made the conscious effort to understand and witness another person we do not know.

People often see behaviour and actions and make a judgement about who they are.

Our behaviors and actions are often heavily influenced by our previously historic experience.

Abused
Neglected
Unloved
Disrespected
Overlooked
Ignored
Bullied
Rejected

We can move through these experiences.

We can heal.

We can make things look different.

Feel different.

It is hard.
It is painful
It is tiring

And it is freedom.

It is possible.








Face to face in Wheathampstead
Online nationwide.

www.AmyEngleman.com

10/05/2021

Back in the room!

Counselling and psychotherapy now available face to face in a covid secure setting in Wheathampstead.

I have 3 spaces for regular in person therapy. I work with stress, anxiety and other general life challenges. I also specialise in domestic violence, abuse and childhood trauma.

If you would like a call to discuss further please do get in touch.



**Please feel free to share this pos. You never know who may need to hear there is help available.**

www.AmyEngleman.com
T 07939 101 645
Contact@amyengleman.com

Amy Engleman, Counsellor & Psychotherapist, offering therapy for mental health issues, depression, anxiety, low mood, relationship issues. Helping and supporting men and women through life's challenges. Local therapy available in Hertfordshire, Wheathampstead & Knebworth. If you are strug

03/05/2021

Did you know you can find me on the counselling directory?

Face to face sessions now available. Feelings of despair, anxiety, panic, anger? Are you feeling overwhelmed and need support in working through your challenges? Let's start today. Book an initial call today on T: 07939 101 645

27/04/2021

We when are ready to heal we need a safe place.

Somewhere to explore, be vulnerable. Have someone witness our pain.

We cannot start that journey without safety.

Healing when still in toxic relationships is challenging.

Healing when still in a toxic job can be exhausting.

Healing when abusive family members still have influence over us is confusing.

Healing hurt from complicated friendships that still exist is complex.

That's why often we find ourselves in therapy.

Where even before we feel we start to heal we learn:

Our worth
Our value
Our needs
Our boundaries
How How say No.
How to ask for help.

Therapy can be your safe place.

We all deserve one.

❤

Face to face therapy in Wheathampstead

Online for everyone.

27/04/2021

Yes!

It can be really difficult to explain Post Traumatic Stress Disorder to anyone, even a friend or family member. This often means that those closest to a PTSD sufferer can't understand how their loved one feels, or what they're experiencing - but it's important to listen to them. Try not to make assumptions - really listen to them when they're ready to talk.

Your support can make a huge difference in your friend or family member’s recovery.

Find out more about what to do if you think your loved one has PTSD or C-PTSD, how you can help them (practically and emotionally), and how to make sure you’re looking after yourself too, on our website: https://www.ptsduk.org/friends-family/

20/04/2021

Just like that we are released! We can do more, we can see more people, we can go out, shop, consume, connect.

What a liberation it should be.....right?

We feel a deep sense of joy at reconnecting......right?

Perhaps not. Perhaps we are exhausted from over a year of constantly adjusting. Constantly recreating the normal. Not knowing what the future looks like.

The losses we have experienced don't magically disappear.

Perhaps we are knackered.
Perhaps the idea of more to do, more people, more fun, more outings is actually utterly overwhelming.

Perhaps conversations are desired but also hard work,. Perhaps the take lots of energy you don't have.

Perhaps we have a full diary, then the extra 'old normal kicks in and we just don't have the capacity.

Are we expecting to run towards this, even when we are tired and weary?

It is Normal to feel tired.

It is Normal to find conversations, eye contact, human physical interaction uncomfortable.

Normal to just feel a little off.

Normal to have a desire to connect and to run away in equal measure.

We have not done this before.

We don't have the data or experience to know how to do this.

We are learning on the job.

So go easy, go gentle. Baby steps into the world.

Choose wisely who gets your precious energy, time and attention.

You get to be the priority.

Make it so.

13/04/2021

Sometimes we grieve for the loss of things that never existed.

We grieve for the loss of the life that never happened.

The loss of the good enough parent that never existed.

The loss of the good enough, supportive family that didn't show up.

The loss of support from a loved one that we hoped for but never materialised.

The loss of the future we imagined and dreamt about but never came to fruition.

These losses can cut deep...they are often experienced alongside the actual loss.

The loss of the parent that didn't offer you what you needed.

The end of the relationship with an abusive partner.

The loss of the job you didn't enjoy.

Allowing the space to process losses of things that didn't exist, only in a internal hope state.

The therapy space offers us somewhere to explore these losses.

The permission to let go of ideas, hopes and dreams that may never exist.

From here we can manage our grief. Manage our own hopes, dreams, desires.

Unpack our disappointment. Even as a child we have natural expectations/needs to be loved, cared for, respected and understood. This is not always the case.

That is not our fault.

But we deal with the aftermath.

We heal.

We figure it out.

We learn to survive and thrive.

11/04/2021

Ready.....Steady.....Go!

As we run, stumble or gentle potter into another lifting of restrictions, do you know what you need to be ok?

It's normal for it all to feel a little odd. For all the old normal stuff to feel uncomfortable and perhaps a little awkward.

We are out of practice after all.

Chatting
Talking
Listening
Eye contact
Strangers
Exchanging
Negotiating

New but old but new again.

Go easy. Remind yourself what you need to be ok...

This doesn't have to be linear. You can pause. Take a step back if you need to. Adjust.

No pressure. Really. Do what you need. Take a minute. Listen to yourself.

If you feel worn out from being 'social' or just doing life. Take a minute.

It's OK for it to feel odd. It's OK for it also to feel great! Exciting. Nourishing.

All the things. All the feelings. They all count towards the moment.

Go easy.

07/04/2021

Our body is listening, responding and representing us.

If we cultivate a connection with this body we have, we can get warning signs about the internal workings of our mind, our trauma responses and our hurt. The lack of balance.

What to watch out for......

Muscle aches
Upset tummy
Rashes
Back aches that won't shift
Slow recovery from training
Stiffness
Poor sleep
Lack of the feeling of being rested
Bloated
Headaches
Jaw pain
Tight chest
Slow healing
Constant niggles

The list can go on. These symptoms absolutely should be cared for by your doctor. Route 1.

However, if we consistently overload ourselves with:

Stress
Anxiety inducing environments Lack of nourishment
Poor quality social interaction Long term isolation
Relationships that don't serve us
Jobs that sap our energy
Limited time for rest, recovery sleep and balanced meals.

The body will yell at us to pay attention.

The less we listen and turn our back. The harder it screams.

I know some of us have intense trauma. Not of our choice. Abuse inflicted upon you. Your body knows that too. It was there.

Using therapy as a designated, deliberate space for you to explore, learn and heal.

It doesn't have to be permanent. We can move into places where there are more choices. Choices that serve you.

08/03/2021

Trauma.

A physical and emotional injury.

It doesn't have to be forever. It is something that can be worked through.

It can be shared in the therapy space. Explored. Given a voice.

We cannot change the past.
We cannot erase the experience

We CAN process it.
We CAN learn ways to manage our feelings, triggers, responses.

We can have a good, fulfilled life.

have some great information on what it can look like.

Acute trauma reflects intense distress in the immediate aftermath of a one-time event and the reaction is of short duration. Common examples include a car crash, physical or sexual assault, or the sudden death of a loved one.

Chronic trauma can arise from harmful events that are repeated or prolonged. It can develop in response to persistent bullying, neglect, abuse (emotional, physical, or sexual), and domestic violence.

Complex trauma can arise from experiencing repeated or multiple traumatic events from which there is no possibility of escape. The sense of being trapped is a feature of the experience. Like other types of trauma, it can undermine a sense of safety in the world and beget hypervigilance, constant (and exhausting!) monitoring of the environment for the possibility of threat.

Psychotherapy and counselling in Hertfordshire.

Face to face waiting list open.
Online session availability.

Call on 07939 101 645 for an initial discussion.

05/02/2021

It is a lot.

Just because.......I'm not crying doesn't mean I'm not sad or hurting.

Just because....... I'm not shouting doesn't mean I'm not angry.

Just because....... I don't look down doesn't mean I don't feel it.

Just because....... I look well doesn't mean I am.

Just because.......I seem ok doesn't mean I am OK.

Just because.......I can raise a smile doesn't mean it isn't hard.

Just because.......I didn't say it hurts doesn't mean it isn't so.

Just because.......I offer support doesn't mean I don't need it too.

Just because.......I don't tell anyone doesn't mean I'm not suffering.

Just because.......You can't see it, doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

Just because.......Today is an OK day doesn't mean tomorrow won't be difficult.

Just because.......I seem friendly doesn't mean I'm not lonely.

Just because.......I seem level doesn't mean I'm not anxious.

What it looks like is often not what it is like.

We don't know each others suffering right now.

When we are overwhelmed, over stretched, over tired, over extended. .......Just over it.....it can be hard to offer empathy. We feel stuck in our own struggle.

This is normal when under long-term stress.

Rest assured you are not alone in the s**t storm.....er....I mean struggle.

It's collectively, individually difficult.

**t