EQ Essex

EQ Essex EQ Essex provides training to help develop your Emotional Intelligence (EQ). EQ is the ability to recognise and then effectively manage your emotions.

It can help build resilience, confidence and empathy. We can help children right through to adults. �

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22/01/2025

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13/01/2025

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We can't learn to regulate when you don't feel safe.
You can't teach resilience when you've learnt to hide how you actually feel.
We do know this is not okay for us.
But you keep telling us it is fine.

Yes we can do lots of stuff.
Yes we are bright and able.
But in this place?
We are literally trying to just survive.

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09/01/2025

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"We’re not a bunch of softies or happy-clappy hippies. What’s easy is locking a child in a cell for endless hours....What’s really hard, as every parent knows, is to sit with an anxious teenager. The whole thing is about trust."

An excellent piece from The Times and The Sunday Times exploring Oasis Restore, the UK’s first ever Secure School that we launched last year.

It captures the core of what Oasis Restore is all about: restoration. You can’t hurt someone to heal them. When we work with young people who have committed serious crimes our main question is not ‘what’s wrong with you?’ but ‘what’s happened to you?’.

👉Read the full article: https://www.thetimes.com/uk/education/article/inside-school-britain-most-dangerous-children-crime-justice-commission-tkms8zkzk

28/10/2024

I was talking to a grandmother last week about schooling. ‘I can see the difference’ she said. ‘When my children were young, primary school was relaxed. If the weather was good, they went outside and ran around. If they were sick, they stayed at home. Now with my grandchildren they are seated in desks for more of the day and if they are ill, they are worried that they’ll lose their 100% attendance for the term. The pressure is on to pass their phonics test when they are six and then to learn their times tables at sp*ed by the time they are nine. They feel it and and their parents feel it too’.

There’s lots of talk about SEND (special educational needs and disabilities) at the moment, and how increasing numbers of children are being identified as SEND. It’s less common to ask questions about what SEND really means, and whether the education system creates more children ‘with SEND’ as it becomes more pressured and rigid.

For what SEND really means is that a child cannot learn in the way which mainstream education expects. They cannot keep up with expectations, either for academic work or for behaviour. SEND is something which happens in the interaction between a child and the education system. In a system where no 6-year-old is expected to sit still and learn to write their name, then a 6-year-old who just wants to run around outside isn't a problem. In a system where everyone is meant to be able to read by age 6, then they are.

We know from research that if a child is young in their year, they are more likely to be identified as ‘having SEND’. We know that summer born boys are far more likely to be identified as ‘having SEND’ than autumn born girls. We know that the impact of this immaturity resonates through the years, with the youngest in the year doing less well at GCSE. We know that the number of children ‘with SEND’ is going up year on year.

It's not really plausible that more children each year have difficulties in learning, nor that being born in August makes you more likely to have learning problems than if you are born a few weeks later in September.

It’s far more likely that in the push to ‘drive up standards’ the education system is becomes less, not more, suited to how children develop and learn. It’s more likely that the system is penalising immaturity – and children are inherently immature. That isn’t a lack or a defect, it’s a defining part of childhood.

As the education system becomes more rigid and pressured, we’d expect more children not to be able to manage without adaptations. This is exactly what we see. Those children are holding up the flag for all the others, saying that this system is not child-friendly and doesn’t take account of developmental needs and differences.

What if, instead of having higher expectations of the children, we had higher expectations of the education system? What if those expectations were of flexibility, reducing pressure and prioritising lifelong learning and wellbeing instead of short-term testing?

What if we saw the increasing number of children ‘with SEND’ as a sign that the system isn’t working for the many ways in which children develop, rather than a sign that more and more children have learning difficulties? We’ll never sort the ‘SEND crisis’ until we start looking at SEND as an interaction between children and the education system. The more rigid the system is, the more children it will fail.

Illustration by Missing The Mark from the book A Different Way to Learn.

⭐️⭐️⭐️However you do today, you have options. Your grades do not define you or your worthiness.There are so many other p...
22/08/2024

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However you do today, you have options.

Your grades do not define you or your worthiness.

There are so many other pathways to take if you do not achieve the results you wanted.

It’s sad that the pressure on schools to achieve targets filters down to our kids when ultimately there are now so many other ways to be successful and fulfilled.

Good luck and please DM if anyone needs help or signposting for next steps.

👏🏻.hub

08/05/2024

Love her 👏🏻

After a meeting with our local Secondary school today, I have never been so sure that our education system is an utter f...
29/04/2024

After a meeting with our local Secondary school today, I have never been so sure that our education system is an utter farce.

Our schools, particularly Secondary aren’t designed to foster learning, curiosity or creativity.
Instead, it seeks to create subservient generations that are discouraged from challenging authority and Governments.
We tell them what to wear, when to talk, when to p*e, what to think.

I would rather my kid leave school having developed their ability to regulate their emotions; handle conflict; have empathy; foster relationships than knowing Pythagoras’ theorem or compound clauses.

Kids are leaving school having been told that GCSE’s are the difference between them having a successful life or not.

Yet studies show that success is influenced by a person’s Emotional Intelligence not their IQ.

I think it’s messed up that we put our 4 year olds in a shirt and tie? What purpose does this serve?
They should be playing and getting messy and curious about the world around them.
Yet we sit them at desks and train away their curious little minds.
We pit them against each other from the beginning with rewards, points and certificates.

I want teachers to be able to teach for the love of teaching, to harness a love of learning in their pupils without the threat of league tables looming over them.

Kids learn best when they feel safe, respected and valued but if they feel an ounce of how I felt sat in that meeting today then it’s no surprise behaviour is worse, attendance is down and more students than ever are leaving to be home schooled.

I know I would if I had the opportunity.

07/04/2024

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This. All day long.
05/04/2024

This. All day long.

Friday thoughts from a favourite  It’s not supposed to be about perfection. Be compassionate to yourselves and your chil...
22/03/2024

Friday thoughts from a favourite
It’s not supposed to be about perfection.
Be compassionate to yourselves and your children ❤️

Read this again and again. 👏🏻 .ma.g
12/03/2024

Read this again and again.

👏🏻 .ma.g

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👌⭐️.parentcoach
07/03/2024

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👌⭐️.parentcoach

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