The Garden Rooms Therapy

10/09/2025

We are searching for Rebecca, 38, who is missing from Hassocks.

Rebecca was last seen in Hassocks around 10am on Sunday 7 September and concern is growing for her welfare.

She is described as 5’4”, slim build with shoulder length brown hair, and has a tattoo on her ankle.

Rebecca also has links to Burgess Hill, Horsham, Worthing, Devon and Dorset.

If you see Rebecca or know where she is, please call 999 quoting serial 1359 of 07/09.

29/08/2025

‘Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are.’

Chinese Proverb.

Hoping you can get close to my cats tranquility this weekend. The jobs will always be there 💚

12/08/2025

A stunning metaphor for life….and maybe grief too 💚

⭕ Your contributions make these videos happen! If you enjoyed this video, please consider making a small donation at https://tinyurl.com/4stmfpphA lot of peo...

10/08/2025

Coming up on Wednesday…

Men's Wellbeing group. Walk & talk. 7-9.30pm on 13th August. Meet outside HurstWorks. Join us again..., or for the first time!



LyonaClub Better High Streets

08/08/2025

How different things can look with a new perspective. 💚

www.thegardenroomshassocks.co.uk

01/08/2025

A nice reminder… 💚

28/07/2025

I’m just over half way through some annual leave. Amongst some family activities, there is more space than usual for gentle reflection, which I find enjoyable.

In the last couple of days before pausing, I was reminded of a documentary I enjoyed a while back, called Stutz. It was put together by the actor Jonah Hill, who has been seeing his therapist Phil Stutz for many years - the tables are turned, and he interviews him about his style of work, and his beliefs and ideas around how he engages with his clients.

I found the whole documentary optimistic and thought provoking on many levels, but particularly remember being moved by Stutz’s idea that there are 3 Aspects of Reality that really no one can avoid:

1. Pain
2. Uncertainty, and
3. Constant work

I remember having quite a difficult reaction to hearing this on my first viewing. How could this be helpful or motivating?

And I allowed myself to delve into it a little…

What happens when I tolerate the thought that I will experience elements of pain in my life?

What happens when I accept that there will be uncertainty around some aspects which I will not be able to control, but most likely will be able to cope with?

What happens for me when I understand that there will inevitably be an element of constant work in my growth and investment in my wellbeing and understanding of myself?

What I noticed immediately, was some relief.

Pressure off trying to do the big life stuff without feeling these difficult emotions provided me with comfort. I notice there is an external influence penetrating not just me, but friends, family, clients and colleagues, suggesting that we really should aspire to be happy and have ‘positive’ feelings as often as possible. ‘If you’re not happy, fix it asap with x, y or z’.

More and more, I am realising the solution is acceptance of ourselves. Tolerance. Kindness. And being ok with the pain, uncertainty and constant work being a regular feature, rather than using energy attempting to mask it, avoid it, fight it.

I have included the trailer here, in case you are interested and haven’t seen it already.

The Garden Rooms is currently at capacity, but I do anticipate some movement in September. If you are looking for a space to explore, please do make contact for a 1/2 hour initial consultation, for which there is no charge. 💚

Meet Jonah Hill’s friend and therapist, Phil Stutz. Directed by Hill, this film invites you to explore Dr. Stutz’s Tools for life in an effort to get real, g...

04/07/2025

Common misconceptions about seeing a counsellor…

1. You have to lie down!
2. Therapy is endless.
3. A therapist tells you what to do.
4. A therapist won't engage - it'll be down to you to do all the talking.
5. Wanting therapy means you have a serious mental illness.
6. If you want therapy, you're weak in some way.
7. Therapy is a quick fix.
8. Talking about problems makes them worse.
9. Therapy is just venting.
10. Therapy is just about your childhood.
11. If you start crying, you'll never stop.
12. There'll be too much silence.
13. All therapists are the same.

If you'd like to discover what it feels like for you, do make contact for a 30 minute initial meeting to explore how we could work together, for which there is no charge.

27/06/2025

We often talk about the usefulness of writing, in all its forms, in client sessions. It can be incredibly powerful.

Wishing you a calm and peaceful head this weekend 💚

16/06/2025

When things feel difficult, this reminder can be really useful I think - we tend to forget what we know in the moment, and I find a quick visual can really help ground me 💚

06/06/2025

Over 25 years ago, when I worked for a large corporation, I was offered a place on a course called Believe & Achieve, run by a facilitator called Clive Gott. I had attended a number of leadership training courses at the time, but this guy was quite different. He packed a punch - and motivational speaking and influence wasn't as prevalent as it is now, so it felt new and exciting. He had overcome personal adversity, and turned things around in the most incredible way, and I admired him greatly.

The most simple message he offered, that I remember being most impacted by in my early twenties, was the question;

'What do I choose?'

The idea that I had control over my response in every situation I came up against was new to me then, and sometimes forgotten by me now. He used a simple example that most of us face pretty regularly, particularly in Mid Sussex where temporary traffic lights are a regular feature (!) ... if you're stuck in a queue waiting, what do you choose? What do you have control over? How do you use the time? What can you do to make this pause worthwhile to you? What do you choose not to do or feel?

It's not rocket science - not now anyway. But it's such a great reminder to us that we have potency in almost all situations. The choices aren't always what we might like, but choices they remain.

I had an unexpected last minute gap in my diary this week. My choices were - to feel uptight, to sit and do extra work and admin, to squeeze in an extra task, OR to choose to go for my favourite walk for 40 minutes, and feel refreshed, ready and grounded for my next appointment. And this time, I chose the latter. Not always. But this time I chose what felt good for me, and I was rewarded with the beautiful view you can see here.

What do you choose when work is demanding?

What do you choose when family life isn't straightforward?

What response is possible when you're having relationship difficulties?

No matter what happens to us, no matter what's going on, we always have some degree of choice about how we respond, and what we do next.

That still feels exciting to me 💚

04/06/2025

Over 25 years ago, when I worked for a large corporation, I was offered a place on a course called Believe & Achieve, run by a facilitator called Clive Gott. I had attended a number of leadership training courses at the time, but this guy was quite different. He packed a punch - and motivational speaking and influence wasn't as prevalent as it is now, so it felt new and exciting. He had overcome personal adversity, and turned things around in the most incredible way, and I admired him greatly.

The most simple message he offered, that I remember being most impacted by in my early twenties, was the question;

'What do I choose?'

The idea that I had control over my response in every situation I came up against was new to me then, and sometimes forgotten by me now. He used a simple example that most of us face pretty regularly, particularly in Mid Sussex where temporary traffic lights are a regular feature (!) ... if you're stuck in a queue waiting, what do you choose? What do you have control over? How do you use the time? What can you do to make this pause worthwhile to you? What do you choose not to do or feel?

It's not rocket science - not now anyway. But it's such a great reminder to us that we have potency in almost all situations. The choices aren't always what we might like, but choices they remain.

I had an unexpected last minute gap in my diary this week. My choices were - to feel uptight, to sit and do extra work and admin, to squeeze in an extra task, OR to choose to go for my favourite walk for 40 minutes, and feel refreshed, ready and grounded for my next appointment. And this time, I chose the latter. Not always. But this time I chose what felt good for me, and I was rewarded with the beautiful view you can see here.

What do you choose when work is demanding?

What do you choose when family life isn't straightforward?

What response is possible when you're having relationship difficulties?

No matter what happens to us, no matter what's going on, we always have some degree of choice about how we respond, and what we do next.

That still feels exciting to me.