Eveline Tijs - Transformational Coaching & Therapy

20/05/2025

"Lose your mind and come to your senses" - Fritz Perls

This is a 2009 picture from a wall in the Educatieve Academie vzw in Antwerp, Belgium. At the time I had just started my training to become a psychotherapist, and I remember this quote really struck a chord with me - that's why I took a picture of it.

I was someone who engaged with the world mostly through the analytical mind, always a million thoughts in my head, tons of ideas buzzing around which sometimes overwhelmed me and had me feeling depleted by the afternoon ...

To me this statement sounded like a beautiful invitation to reconnect with a different way of being.

Fritz Perls, the founder of Gestalt therapy, used this phrase to denote a shift from over-intellectualization to a direct, sensory, and embodied experience of our present moment reality.

💢 So I just wanted to offer it here on your feed: if you're currently feeling distracted, detached, overwhelmed, unable to focus, ... you can always take a moment to come to your senses.

We all intuitively know this. But it can be easy to forget when we're caught up in our thinking and there seem to be a million things to do and places to be.

1. Decide to pause

2. Focus your attention on one or more of your senses: what can you see, hear, smell, touch, taste?

3. Take a few deep breaths and just be with the present moment

And let your next action come from that place.

15/05/2025

It's easy to think we can't change and we just 'are the way we are'.
But what if that thought isn't really true?

What we call 'me' is often just habitual behaviours that we're unconsciously repeating, and identifying with.

The way we show up can change in an instant (ever seen how people react when they see a baby? They suddenly start coo-ing and aah-ing and speaking in a funny voice - total personality transformation!)

What if you could just shift who you're being at will, just because you decided to?

And even if this sounds like total nonsense to you - imagine for a moment it were true: what would become possible for you?

29/04/2025

𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐦 𝐈 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠? 𝐈𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐨𝐫 𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐬𝐦?

One of my coaching clients was sharing about how she and her partner get into what she called 𝘱𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘺 𝘧𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘴. They would have a nice evening planned, but then he'd come home from work a bit later than expected… her attention would get caught on something he did wrong, she would comment on it, and then the whole evening would be ruined.
She shared her concern that this dynamic seemed to be happening more and more often lately. A spiral of doom!

We talked about how it can take some effort to become aware of our habits. But this awareness can transform everything.
The habit she noticed in herself is that she’d started to focus on what is missing or what is wrong. She had 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐬𝐦, 𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭.

And the more she started to look at him that way, the more things she started to notice that annoyed her, and by then commenting on them she’d ruin the connection with him.
The great thing is habits can be altered. A person can decide to 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐚𝐠𝐞. It might not be easy at first, and it might not happen every time, but gradually it will make no sense anymore to ruin a beautiful feeling and a good moment by getting carried away in judgement or a desire to be right all the time.

So you can get into action with this straight away: 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠?

14/04/2025

One of my favourite words in the English as well as the Dutch language is '𝐛𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐧'.⁣
⁣
Are you 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 right now?⁣
⁣
Writer and philosopher Gurwinder Bhogal has a tip for you:⁣
⁣
'You're not inactive because you lack motivation, you lack motivation because you're inactive. ⁣
You don't need to feel inspired to start creating, you need to start creating to feel inspired. ⁣
Action. Relates traction. ⁣
All you need is to start and the rest will follow.'⁣
⁣
And if this doesn't do it for you, send me a message and 𝐥𝐞𝐭'𝐬 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐚 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧!

Ps not a fan but this song is spot on 💮

09/04/2025

This is an absolute game changer!
Once we understand that our feelings are generated by the thinking we believe in the moment, we are free. We don't need to do anything to 'fix' the feelings or change them.
Just like physical pain, emotional pain is a helpful signal to let us know that we got carried away in a thoughtmare. There's nothing to resist.
The emotions invite us to get present again, drop out of our heads into our hearts and go from there.

How are you feeling right now?
Where is your attention going?

25/03/2025

Proud of this interview with documentary filmmaker Craig Foster!

We talked about his new book, 'Amphibious Soul' and the beautiful movie 'My Octopus Teacher' (available on Netflix - have you seen it yet?) ... and about the importance of our connection with nature. Restoring this connection can provide answers to social problems such as the stress and burnout epidemic, depression and loneliness. And it brings people together around themes such as nature conservation and protecting larger ecosystems, which all our lives depend upon.

'How can we balance the tame part within us, which loves comfort and technology, with our deeper self, which remembers the many thousands of years we lived in connection with nature'

I found Foster to be a humble and gentle man, with a lot of wisdom and deep love for our planet and for the wondrous creatures in his treasured Great African Sea Forest.

03/02/2025

I was talking to a client last week and she mentioned that she sometimes feels like she doesn’t have enough confidence. During meetings she holds back and doesn’t share what’s on her mind because she is unsure about how it will land. She wonders whether people will think she doesn’t know what she is talking about or make unfavourable judgments about her. And that feels scary and uncomfortable, so she decides to let the moment pass and remains silent.

This quote may serve as a helpful pointer when you notice something similar occurring in you.

Because that’s all that’s happening: we focus on ourselves, and we get lost in our own anxious thinking.

All our feelings are doing is telling us something about the quality of our thinking in the moment.

Feeling anxious is a pretty helpful way for our bodies to tell us where our focus is. It’s a signal that alerts us to the fact that we are getting lost in anxious thoughts about ourselves. Just as easily, we could have entertained thoughts about something else.

Does that mean we then need to change our thoughts?

Not necessarily. If we can, we can shift our thinking and focus on something else: someone we are helping, some bigger goal we are contributing to. That might generate different feelings.

And sometimes we’re just in the feelings and we can’t seem to shake them. That’s okay. It’s enough to know that the feeling of being safe is not necessarily the same as BEING safe.

We can BE safe and not feel it because we’re getting lost in a thought storm. I always find that helpful to remember.

The quote is quite provocative as it can be interpreted in different ways. How do you interpret it? Do you agree?

12/04/2024

A while ago I was interviewed for Flemish edition of Psychologies Magazine about the impact of our current global predicament on people's mental wellbeing. Myself and other mental health professionals discussed what we notice when talking to clients and offered some suggestions on what could be helpful when it comes to not getting overwhelmed and relating to our situation in different ways.
I am grateful that the magazine is making an effort to put these topics on the front page 🙏 Thanks to editor-in-chief . I hope the article and tips can be helpful in some way.

"War, hunger, climate crisis... What to do when the world is on fire?"

You can read the full article in the current edition of Psychologies Magazine Vlaanderen.

-anxiety

01/12/2023

“Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror. Just keep going. No feeling is final.” Rainer Maria Rilke

16/08/2023

How are you today? What does life look like today?
May this quote help you snap out of the thought spell if it's of benefit 🫰

25/10/2022

04/10/2022

"That of which I am unaware controls me; awareness empowers me" - John Whitmore