Sage Psychotherapy & Counselling

27/10/2025

It’s been a while ~ wonderfully busy busy busy. But I am delighted to have secured a place and be on my way to a CPD event in advanced couple therapy training with Terry Real, a world renowned family therapist. I feel very fortunate to be able to bring this learning back to my clients
L🕊️

21/08/2025

I share this again for those getting their GCSE results today
Remember ~ Exam results aren’t everything 💗

Not everyone’s brain works in the same way and our exam results do not define us.

Everyone knows that a good education is important. We learn from an early age the importance of knowledge, skills and experiences, as well as practical application in the real world. As a rule, everyone respects this. But working life amounts to much more than the handful of letters or numbers that represent what we remembered during an exam.

A big emphasis is placed on achieving the best possible test results, exam grades and qualifications at every stage of young life but Getting the best grades isn’t always as vital as it’s made out to be when it comes to success in the world of work.

Who you are, if your kind, considerate, well mannered, on time, fun, hard working and committed can be what gets you success.

Show up and be the best you can. No more and no less

L🕊️

19/08/2025

Can I get an idea of interest for this please ~ for 15/16/17/18 year olds who are about to start college and potentially prior to exams (GCSE’s and A-levels) It would take place in Neyland Hub during an evening (tbc) 1.5 hours for £25 Please feel free to message privately ~ L🕊️

25/06/2025

I am an Adlerian Psychotherapist

What does that mean? Let me explain

Psychotherapy is different from counselling and here’s why;

Psychotherapy isn’t a quick fix; it requires time, effort, and commitment from both the therapist and the client. It’s changing a lifetime of learned behaviour and learning new behaviours and thought processes. Expectations for quick results can lead to disappointment.

The stages of psychotherapy and what to expect;

* First is relationship building. It is vital that we feel safe to be able to explore our inner most thoughts with our therapist so building a trusting secure relationship is a must. This can take time and can’t be forced.

* Then comes exploring our deep thoughts and feelings in the safe, non-judgemental space we have created with our therapist. Where did they come from? What purpose are they serving now?

* We move through different coping strategies and mechanisms, learning how to manage challenge when it arrises , not eliminate it.

* Change often requires sustained effort, potentially months or even years of therapy.

Psychoherapy is not a one size fits all

* It needs to be tailored to the specific needs and circumstances of each person.

* While effective, therapy isn’t a guaranteed solution, and some may find it doesn’t suit their needs.

* The process can be challenging, and there may be periods of progress and setbacks.

Psychotherapy requires patience and self-awareness:

* Open and honest communication is crucial for a successful therapeutic relationship.

* Track your progress and identify any challenges or areas where you need to adjust your approach.

* If it isn’t working, explore other options or seek a different therapist.

Psychotherapy is more than just venting:

* It involves structured discussions, exercises, and strategies to help you gain insight and develop solutions.

* It’s not just for crisis situations; it can also be used to develop coping skills and prevent crisis.

By understanding that it’s a journey and not a destination, individuals can set realistic expectations and increase chances of experiencing positive and lasting results.

08/04/2025

Let’s talk about breath work

Has anyone ever said to you when you are in a distressed or frustrated state
“Take a breath”?
It’s something we hear often, however, simply taking a breath isn’t enough to relieve your stress response, and your nervous system will stay heightened.

Taking slow measured breaths is a scientifically proven to calm your sympathetic nervous system; your ‘fight flight’ response, re-engaging your parasympathetic nervous system and bringing you into ‘rest and digest’.

There are many different techniques you can use, however the one I use myself and with my clients is ‘5 - 7 breathing’. Breathing slowly and consistently through the nose for 5 seconds, hold for 1 second, then purse the lips as though blowing through a straw and count for 7 seconds.
Repeating this cycle 4 or 5 times or more as necessary.

You can try various techniques such as
* 4-7-8 Breathing; Inhale through your nose for 4, hold your breath for 7, and exhale forcefully through your mouth for 8.
* Box breathing; Inhale for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 4, and hold for 4.
* Alternate Nostril Breathing (Nadi Shodhana): Sit comfortably, close your right nostril with your right thumb, inhale deeply through your left nostril, close both nostrils and hold, then exhale through your right nostril. Repeat on the other side.

Something I explain to my clients very early on in the counselling work is although this is a profound way to regulate our nervous system, it can be very difficult to draw on this in a heightened state.
So my advice is to practice it often and when doing something mundane, like hanging out laundry. Do it while undertaking a task that requires little focus.

Once we have learned what works for us and we have practised it often, we are able to draw on it more readily in a heightened situation.

Remember not to expect to get it perfect straight away and also to forget it from time to time.

While this is visceral response management, it’s useful to work with a qualified mental health professional to understand the reason for the response. Once we examine our ‘truth’ it becomes easier to manage.

L🕊️

08/03/2025

Quick post from me today ~ this book is based entirely on the modality of Psychology I specialise and hold a diploma in.
Adlerian Psychology - the man himself, Alfred Adler.

If there’s only one thing in life I could recommend it’s reading this book.

On the shelves of at number 1 still in non-fiction.

Happy Saturday lovelies

L🕊️

03/03/2025

ADHD and time management

Struggling to manage time can be all consuming, even debilitating with ADHD.

The main issue with ADHD is ‘executive dysfunction’.
Executive functions help us with organisation, time management and planning.

Individuals with ADHD tend to be stuck in the present, and have a hard time doing what will benefit them later….
The benefit of doing next week’s assignment or cleaning now might be avoiding problems and chores later, but that’s not something that is usually considered.

Understanding ADHD and the use of time could change how you relate to and manage it. Developing time management skills can have a profound effect on our mental health, work life balance and relationships.

Ways you can do this;

* Prioritise tasks ~ Using Eisenhower matrix for prioritising tasks, placing tasks in order of urgency and importance.
* Establish routines ~ creating routines allows us to become familiar with how long each task takes.
* Set goals ~ giving yourself a sense of direction, accountability, and motivation.
* Set deadlines ~ this motivates us to complete something and also gives us a sense of accomplishment when completed.
* Remember to take regular breaks ~ recharging and avoiding burnout.
* Set timers on digital devices or make a written estimate of how long each task takes ~ e.g. ‘showering 15 mins’ ‘travel 20 mins’ adding these together when planning time. It can be surprising how long is needed in total.

Remember when factoring in time management it’s not just for your benefit. Poor time management can result in missed deadlines, increased stress, and pressure on personal relationships. People can feel undervalued when we keep them waiting, so there are many impacts of not managing your time effectively.

** While writing this I felt it was important to remember that this is not a blanket approach for everyone who has ADHD or ADD. We are all different, neurotypical or neurodiverse, there is no one size fits all.

Support from a mental health professional can provide additional guidance for understanding time management and other aspects of coping with ADHD & ADD.

28/01/2025

It’s wonderful how in the last few years how the impact of the menstrual cycle has been recognised and accepted. That being said, it might be useful for us all… not just women who have menstrual cycles, but everyone else who experiences what impact they can have, partners, spouses, parents, children, friends, colleagues, etc.

Menstruation also known as me**es, menstrual period, menstrual cycle or period affects roughly 96% of women (Amenorrhea - not menstruating can be caused by a number of factors, including genetic conditions, chronic illnesses, and hormonal changes)
Cycles are usually 25 - 30 days

So …. The hormone bit:

Day 1; first day of bleeding. Bleeding lasts anywhere around 3 - 7 days. Allow some space.
Day 3/4: Estrogen starts to build, feeling more relaxed and connected.
Estrogen increases along with better moods right up to the middle of ovulation at -
Day 12/13: Estrogen is at its highest. Any discussions, or challenges are best had between day 2 - 13.
Day 10 - 15: Ovulation
Day 15: After ovulation is a crash of Estrogen and a noticeable change in mood.
Day 17 / 18 progesterone creeps in, and Estrogen rises again, this is the feeling horrible, bloated and a bit lower. There is also a slight increase in Testosterone.
Day 22 / 23 is when the progesterone and estrogen levels drop sharply causing mood swings and irritability.

Symptoms prior to menstruation impacting normal life are called premenstrual syndrome (PMS). 20 to 30% of women are affected by this.

Common symptoms are:

* Mood swings
* Sleep issues
* Bloating
* Headaches
* Breast tenderness
* Skin changes
* Appetite changes
* Other symptoms

Premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD) is a hormone-based mood disorder that causes severe physical and emotional symptoms.
3 to to 8% of women suffer with this.

Emotional regulation in therapy can help with symptoms, but understanding can not be underestimated 🕊️

19/11/2024

The true and false self - A theory by D W Winnicott.

Have you ever felt yourself on ‘best behaviour’ because you are ‘not good enough’ to be who you truly are?

The theory of the true and a false self was developed by British psychoanalyst Dr Donald Winnicott in the 1960s.
Winnicott suggests that everyone is divided into two selves, and that people develop the false self to protect their inner, more vulnerable true self.

The true self refers to a sense of self based on authentic experience, and the feeling of being truly present and alive. The false self is a defensive façade, behind which a person can feel empty, its behaviours being learnt and controlled rather than spontaneous and genuine.

Many of us grow up believing that in order to be accepted we need to hide parts of ourselves and who we truly are, choosing attachment over authenticity.
This pattern can follow us into our adult relationships, leaving us feeling disconnected and inauthentic.

To get in touch with your authentic self start by asking “what parts of me have I been suppressing in order to please others or be more liked or accepted?”. Then take small steps to release and express that part of you.

The more you practice this the easier it becomes over time to be authentic in your relationships which leads to deeper more meaningful and fulfilling connections.

While there are without doubt times that call for us to be more restrained and hold our opinion or thoughts in,

Tips to being true to yourself;

* Listen to and follow your gut instinct.

* Learn to say no.

* Say how you really are when a good friend asks. This enables practice safely.

* Say what you’d like to do when someone gives you a choice.

* Remember that someone else’s judgment of you is a reflection of them, not you.

* Ask yourself - “What am I afraid will happen?”

When we learn to be who we truly are, we can learn to accept ourselves as perfectly imperfect , and develop the sense of self-worth we all deserve

If you need support take the step, it really is life changing.

L🕊️

01/10/2024

I want to thank everyone who has liked and followed my page.

This is not just a business and a way to earn a living, for me it is so much more. It is something I’m passionate about and feel incredibly privileged and humble to be able to do.

Mental health is a silent killer, but it can also damage relationships, work, and creep into every arena of our lives.

Working with someone who has trained, qualified and is registered with the British Association for Psychotherapy and Counselling, who has been through the arduous process themselves so they can help you to understand your negative thought process and re-orient those thoughts and behaviours, can be life changing.

Finding someone to be able to talk to in a judgement free safe space can make all of the difference to our wellbeing.

With a client base ranging from teenagers to pensioners it is never too early or too late to seek help for yourself or someone you love, or even someone you’ve noticed from a distance is struggling.

Take care of each other, but most importantly, take care of yourself, once you are in a good place, you are able to help those around you.

L 🕊️

12/09/2024

The wonderful little Molly Wright giving the youngest ever TED talk

As a fully trained and licencened counsellor and psychotherapist I can not plea enough with every parent of a child under 5 (or even over) to watch this … and be mindful with your phones - the impact they are having on children is huge

Engage with your children and raise healthy, strong, connected children

Let’s share this message with our friends and family 🩷

L🕊️
Molly Wright: How every child can thrive by five

"What if I was to tell you that a game of peek-a-boo could change the world?" asks seven-year-old Molly Wright, one of the youngest-ever TED speakers. Breaking down the research-backed ways parents and caregivers can support children's healthy brain development, Wright highlights the benefits of pla...