AJH Therapy

06/01/2026

A common thread in therapy - I want to change, but I can’t because of XYZ. Well, that maybe true up to a point, but your thoughts and your perspective are ALWAYS in your control.
You are free to feel and think whatever you choose – I urge everyone to know this and embrace this. Often the biggest step is to give yourself permission to make any kind of change. Changing how you look at something or how you think about something can be the best and most successful step to changing something in your life. Changing your perception can give you the freedom and the confidence to break out of that cycle – it can break you out from under the negative influence of that situation. Your thoughts are your own.
The first step is to explore and then understand why certain thoughts repeat. What is it about them, and you, that makes them stay in your brain? Why are they so important to you? What is this situation really about?
Then ask yourself, what is the benefit of holding on to anything negative – ie, are you avoiding something by clinging to it? What do you get out of being in this situation?
And then ask yourself, what is the potential benefit of letting go of this negative you don’t need? Will you feel better about yourself? And is that a welcome thought or a scary one? It doesn’t have to be a major change, any change, however small it seems, is significant because it makes a different outcome.
Try this exercise to take control of your negative thoughts:
Think about something you are holding on to and ask yourself what impact it is having on your life right now.
When a habit or repeat thought comes into your head, acknowledge it. Recognise it, then when you’ve acknowledged it, tell yourself NO! I am not allowing that in today. Today is a good day. I am sending that thought away. It won’t take me in the direction I want to go.
Then remind yourself of what you are trying to achieve and why that thought won’t help you. You are safe to let it go.
If it works for you, think of your thoughts like trains. If you are at the station, and you want to travel east, if the next train that arrives is going west, you won’t get on it. It will take you in completely the wrong direction to where you want to go. It’s the same with negative thoughts; if you attach yourself to the habit of being negative, that’s where you’ll end up.
Visualise that train at the station, and see the train leave with your negative thought on board. See it travel far away from you. You didn’t get on board with it, you let it go. And there you have it, a change.

06/01/2026

I love this photo, the weather was really calm and I feel like that's tangible through the image. It was a Mindful walk on a lovely winter morning.
10/10 would recommend to everyone.

31/12/2025

31/12/2025

A favorite from prior years so now I post it every year because the sentiment is still true. So many of us grew up believing a new year meant a “new me.” I didn’t like how it was phrased or the pressures that came with it. It’s not about a new you or becoming a different person. All I hope we aspire to is to be healthier and happier versions of ourselves. ❤️✨

24/12/2025

Christmas is here! Over the next few busy & chaotic days, remember to be realistic with yourself. It helps to accept there are limits to how far your powers and your stamina will stretch. There will always be something you think you should have done, and there will always be someone to tell you they would have done it differently. So what?

Remember, in this world there are some things we cannot control or change, and that is how the world is supposed to be. Save your energy to deal with the things that you can. Or just as importantly, the things you really do NEED to. If your family is safe and secure, with shelter and food, then you took care of business. Everything else is just window dressing.

Be safe, be composed and above all else, be yourself.

Happy Christmas
Alison x

20/12/2025

Self-pity is our worst enemy and if we yield to it, we can never do anything wise in this world - Helen Keller

20/12/2025

Right now, this is a very unpredictable world. It feels unsafe and a lot of change is happening, outside our control. We have no idea where these changes are leading us. Where are we heading? What does my future look like? How is my life going to change? And as people, we don’t do change very well. But the truth is uncertainty is an absolute part of the human life cycle. There are some things we just do not or cannot know.
Usually, healthy people can cope with a degree of uncertainty. But some of us don’t cope well with not knowing and may feel overwhelmed by everyday life; for these people each day becomes a struggle as they try to get control over their lives. This very human need for control is a common factor in conditions that involve anxiety, obsessive disorders and depression. Trying to get rid of doubts and create a sense of certainty is emotionally unhealthy and is usually futile.
The key is to learn to accept that doubt and uncertainty exist everywhere. It cannot be eliminated, only tolerated. We don’t need to change the world to feel secure in it - we just need to accept what our very small part in it looks like and get on with being in it.
For some people the future simply means being able to reach acceptance or make peace with a situation they cannot alter, such as the pain of bereavement, or suffering through ill health. For others, it’s about learning to change their emotional response to triggers from their past experiences. Anxious people may allow their negative thoughts to control their decision-making processes, and sometimes they avoid something they actually really want, in case it doesn’t work out.
What if?” questions are also common in people who are anxious or worriers. Whilst some degree of caution is a healthy normal response, when it affects quality-of-life decisions, an intervention or change of behaviour can be appropriate. For some people the future is about achieving goals, and whatever their issues, as their sense of the future develops, they will begin to realise they have potential. This can be a scary time as the future seems new and uncertain.
Therapy can help clients to re-program their thoughts and learn to accept that some things about life in the present and especially life in the future are beyond their control. Remember: just because we cannot predict our life path does not mean that path should be feared.

17/12/2025

I've avoided talking about Christmas, but now time has almost run out to remind us all that the image of a perfect Christmas is usually just that, an image - an idea that we are tying to live up to, and creating stress and self-criticism when we don't. Ultimately, the people you spend Christmas with will remember the things that bond you - the laughter, the connections, the fun and even shared experiences of when things go wrong. What do you remember about your best Christmas ever as a child? Not the table setting, or the house being cleaned, or the wrong colour napkins, or whatever it is. It's who was there, and what you did together, and of course the presents.
And once more I say as gently as possible, put down your phone, stop filming it, and be part of it instead.
You can never please everyone all of the time anyway.

17/12/2025

a recent photo, taken on a December morning, one of the ways I mentally unplug from everything going on around us in the world. I've said this before but the sea is one of the constants that has a grounding effect - the tide will go out, and the tide will come back in, every single day, no matter what.