Transform Inside & Out

26/08/2025

ARE YOU HOLDING ONTO 'NEGATIVE LOYALTIES' ?

There are many treasures within our family's energetic inheritance that can support our feelings of belonging, identity, culture, familiarity, ideally safety, connection to our roots - through language, music, literature, family traditions, iconography, the land etc. (And yes, for some, all that connection can also be the source of pain, disconnection and suffering.)
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So what are 'negative loyalties'? It is our energetic inheritance, AND unconscious retention, of 'painful ancestral legacies', which include all the extended family's suffering, that has travelled through our family tree - to us (and through us to our offspring, if not cleared before having them...).
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One of the most common 'legacies', which can weigh on us, is family secrets - such as suicides, addictions, children / pregnancies out of wedlock, abortions, marital affairs, adoption, disowned family members that are not allowed to be talked about, betrayal etc. These types of secrets carry a very heavy underlying energy of SHAME, which is one of the most negative human emotions (energetically most detrimental to our body), and this energy affects our beliefs and behaviours, as well as our health.
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There are also 'legacies' of bravery and heroism, which can include suffering and sacrifice - especially through the times of war, which is not that far behind us. A lot of our grandparents have lived through that time, some of which are still around.
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However, unbeknown to the self, we often re-enact the behaviours and feelings of shame and suffering, in the form of un-deservedness, martyrdom, victimhood, suffering, over-giving, suppression, keeping small, overdoing, oppression, fawning etc. - just because they are part of our nervous system as genetic / energetic inheritance, and out of unconscious 'loyalty to the clan'.
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When in fact, we were born into the family tree in order to shift something - to master this lesson of freeing the self, and thereby ALSO freeing our ancestors. Our ancestors wouldn't want us to suffer, re-live their pain & shame. (If any of them did, this work to release those energies is then even more important!)
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Rather than reliving their suffering, we can instead honour them by acknowledging what happened and taking responsibility for ourselves. You can:

- explore your family history to find out any past suffering & traumas

- identify what might be relating to and influencing your life today - what types of behaviour show up that hold you down, back or stuck ?

- acknowledge their lives as they were - having done the best they could under the circumstances with what they knew at the time -> create a little ceremony, meaningful to you / to your family (a good day to use to honour one's ancestors is the time of the Dark Moon - the day/night before a New Moon) 🌚

We all have the power to release the suppression, freeing ourselves and our ancestors - unless there are some hidden benefits / secondary gains we (like to) receive on the back of our suffering, but that's another story...

Get in touch if you would like to be guided through this process 💫

(Image: "Journey towards You", by Slávka Štrbová)

28/04/2025

07/12/2024

REVIEWING & CHANGING OUR (LONG-HELD) BELIEFS aka "MEMORY RECONSOLIDATION" by MEETING OUR YOUNGER SELVES

It can be quite a shock to realise that a belief we have held most of our life turns out not to be true. Even more so, if it's been a limiting belief, which has held us back till now.
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Like a house of cards tumbling down, it collapses when we realise that we misunderstood and 'made it all up' in our head all those years ago as a young child (not knowing any better at the time, not seeing the whole picture).
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Believing we are not good enough is one of the most common limiting beliefs. One potential scenario, amongst many, could be that we might have felt rejected by a parent (or both of them), perhaps feeling our sibling being favoured, when, in fact, there might have been other external factors we were unaware of at the time, at that age, which caused our parents paying more attention to our sibling in a given moment / or regularly. It is only that which is imprinted in our memory.
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Everything connected to our individuality while growing up is significant to forming our identity and contributes to forming the foundations of our self-worth & our sense of agency.
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Through the assisted process of EFT Matrix Reimprinting, we can be safely & objectively guided back to our younger selves to revisit and explore the event / or a regular family pattern in question, and 'rewire' our feelings about it.
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If you have never done it before, this process of 'travelling back in time' is very powerful, can be very emotional and surprising to us by:

- how tenderly we are able to connect with our younger self - it is a beautiful and very moving moment,

- how much more objectively we can perceive the whole scenario in question as the adult we are now,

- how differently the whole issue feels by looking at it more objectively, with time and from a "distance",

- how our child-self's belief we'd formed at that time has been driving us all this time,

- how relatively easy & fast it can be to re-write (effectively "rewire") our given belief(s), given the length of time we have lived with it.
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The newly found realisations and feelings about ourselves, about the situation in question, our parents, our siblings, our ongoing life choices, can bring a mix of emotions, including -

- sadness about the 'lost time' - all these years holding ourselves back, maybe feeling jealous of our siblings - our family relationships having been affected all our lives

- newly found joy, elation and a sense of "lightness of being"

- a realised opportunity to improve / elevate our sense of self, our relationships, attract different people and situations into our lives.

It is NEVER too late to 'start over' 😇

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(Image by Antoine Paikert)

11/10/2024

Yesterday, I was reminded of this video from 4 years ago by someone who watched it recently for the first time. It is heartwarming to know that it is still being accessed, offering an insight into how to become more compassionate with self & others through the process of the so-called "shadow work" .

I am sharing it again for anyone interested in understanding the process of exploring their own "shadows" and what it entails.

Get in touch for a free chat & taster if you are interested in a deeper understanding of your own inner challenges.

Join me for this insightful and fascinating conversation with Romy Carr, the founder of Transform Inside & Out.Romi shares some of her wisdom of how to bring...