Della Cain - Counselling and Psychotherapy

11/01/2025

We have to protect democracy. Politicians don’t get to pick and choose when they stand for election. Cancelling elections with such short notice is harmful to democracy. The Essex County Council elections were due to take place in May 2025 and therefore should take place. There is no guarantee whe...

04/01/2025

This time of year is difficult for many people. Please remember there is always a way forward. Reach out to others, ask for help. If you do not have a go to person, please consider talking to a therapist.
Feeling isolated and lonely is a time to take notice of what needs to change in your life. Feelings are your friends, they feel brutal, but are more honest than any words that can be said by someone that is not you. They do not judge, they have your best interest at heart.
Once you learn to listen to your feelings and understand what they are trying to communicate to you, a solution will arise for the better. Sometimes it is difficult to know what that change needs to be. A therapist can look at your situation objectively and without judgment, helping you to navigate your future in a safe way that works for you...
If you can't afford therapy, remember there are lots of things you can start to do for yourself. Go online and learn to breathe into your tummy, this reduces anxiety. I recommend to all my clients to listen to 528htz (free on YouTube), this regulates the nervous system. There are lots of self-help techniques you can use that are free online to reduce stress and anxiety.
Depression arises from the past, anxiety arises for the future. Remember to stay in the moment of now, look around you, take walks, look at nature. When your mind starts wandering, bring it back to the now...
Best wishes
Della

04/01/2025

04/01/2025

This time of year is difficult for many people. Please remember there is always a way forward. Reach out to others, ask for help. If you do not have a go to person, please consider talking to a therapist.
Feeling isolated and lonely is a time to take notice of what needs to change in your life. Feelings are your friends, they feel brutal, but are more honest than any words that can be said by someone that is not you. They do not judge, they have your best interest at heart.
Once you learn to listen to your feelings and understand what they are trying to communicate to you, a solution will arise for the better. Sometimes it is difficult to know what that change needs to be. A therapist can look at your situation objectively and without judgment, helping you to navigate your future in a safe way that works for you...
If you can't afford therapy, remember there are lots of things you can start to do for yourself. Go online and learn to breathe into your tummy, this reduces anxiety. I recommend to all my clients to listen to 528htz (free on YouTube), this regulates the nervous system. There are lots of self-help techniques you can use that are free online to reduce stress and anxiety.
Depression arises from the past, anxiety arises for the future. Remember to stay in the moment of now, look around you, take walks, look at nature. When your mind starts wandering, bring it back to the now...
Best wishes
Della

21/12/2023

My lovely foster daughter offered to take some pictures of me for my account 💕💕. Feel free to DM with any queries about anything at all, the first step to recovery and healing is reaching out by simply sending a quick little message, my dms are open 9-7pm ✨.

21/12/2023

So happy with my counselling room, it’s been a work in progress for quite a few years. Here’s where all the magic happens ✨✨

04/12/2023

I approve this message

02/12/2023

If you are struggling to connect at the moment, the feed back from clients using this book is very positive. It may help you on your journey of self discovery.

27/10/2023

Some of us might identify with different people in this image.

Some of us might identify with the person giving love and affection to the youngest child. We might feel like we were defended or have found or grown up in a safe, protected space and find it easy to express love and protection to our children.

Some of us might identify more with the person holding up the shield. He's not saying anything, he's not giving verbal affection or encouragement, although he is using a nonspoken gesture to show his feelings. He's devoting most of his energy to stopping and silencing the voices he grew up with. He may not have a lot of energy left to do much more than stop and block, but he's doing the best he can.

Some of us might even identify with one of the angry, yelling characters at the left of the image. Maybe inside their heads they don't want to be angry and yelling...it just keeps coming out and they can't help it. Notice how even the one saying "You're not good enough!" is doing his best to tone down what was said to him growing up. He might think he's expressing valuable "correction"...even if it's not being received that way. He might also be doing his best. Still, if he can't see the way it's forcing his child to put up barriers between the two of them, he's damaging their relationship.

This image really spoke to me the first time I saw it. What does it make you feel or think?

[Image description:
The image depicts five people, from eldest to youngest, from left to right. It is meant to represent five generations of the same family. The oldest man is yelling at the next man in line, "You are stupid!" The next-oldest man is yelling, "You're not good enough!" After him in line is the third generation, who is holding up a shield and blocking the harsh words from the older generations. He is blocking it with a shield on his left, and giving a thumbs-up to the person on his right. The next person, the next generation, is saying, "I'm proud of you! I love you!" to the youngest generation, a little boy painting a picture. End description.]