Bright Consciousness Psychotherapy & Mindfulness

06/04/2026

Working with families teetering on the edge of estrangement is not for the feint-hearted. Working with those who are entrenched in long-term conflict can really impact therapists deeply. And there is so much riding on the outcomes — potentially across generations.

It’s hard for the therapist not to get invested in one outcome or another. How do they hold a neutral space without taking sides? How do they hold the kind of space that allows for the growth of the client and the family systems around them? What happens when the therapist's own agenda starts to creep in to their work? So often difficulties arise when the therapist has lost their own objectivity and non-judgement. Too often this accompanies burnout.

Issues around estrangement are so prevalent today, that most trainee counsellors and psychotherapists will encounter multiple estranged or estranging families during their placement, even before they have qualified. But they may be unaware of the underlying issues around estrangement. They may also have their own unexplored issues around it.

This is why regular clinical supervision is essential. It’s vital to recognise how our countertransference is impacting the relationship with our clients. It’s especially important working with the therapist’s own process and their own family constellation and all that they are bringing to the table.

I find Focusing-Oriented Supervision is particularly well suited for this. Almost always the stuckness in the client’s healing process can be found in the therapist’s own process — that’s why it is so important to work deeply at the felt sense level. What is going on underneath the level of conscious awareness in the therapist? Focusing gets into that deep work straight away.

Integrating Focusing-Oriented Supervision with the Seven-Eyed Model of Supervision works really well, providing both structure and depth.

In terms of deepening the therapeutic practice of trainee and newly-qualified counsellors, bringing Focusing-Oriented Supervision alongside the Integrated Development Model really helps to facilitate greater self-awareness in the trainee, and their ability to reflect in a deeper way on client work.

There is so much goodness and nourishment in this work! 🙏

Message me on here or email brightconsciousness@gmail.com for more information about Focusing-Oriented Therapy and Focusing-Oriented Supervision.

Also —

*** A new course in Focusing Skills for Counsellors will be starting on Friday April 17th.*** Please email the address shown above.

*** CPD workshop on Working with Estrangment Date TBD *** Please register interest on the email above.

04/04/2026

Don't forget - It's okay to leave an event or interaction to manage your symptoms if you need to. I've lost count of how may times I've needed to go outside for a bit to cool down so my autonomic symptoms calm down, or to relieve sensory overload, or so I can process an environment and work out how best to navigate it in peace/where I can think clearly.

27/03/2026

24/03/2026

This video expresses beautifully many of the reasons to take it slow. Slowing the pace lets you keep yourself grounded. Noticing the parts that want to rush back into relationship. And finding ways to look after those parts - whether you are an eatranged child or an estranged parent, the vulnerable parts need OUR support, not the support of the other person. When we can look after ourselves, we stand a better chance of building a new relationship with the estranged person. Hold the relief. Assessing with compassion. Recognising our own needs. Limiting emotional intensity. Setting boundaries and offering and requiring mutual respect. Seeing whether the structure collapses when you assert your own needs. If it does, then nothing had really changed. If you’re finding that once again you’re walking on eggshells or people-pleasing, you have the answer. Looking after yourself. Putting your own oxygen mask on first

21/03/2026

Yes! We need our little things, habits, comfort objects, spaces, rituals, things that help us to stabilise and to ground ourselves, and to feel competent and safe.

And where people pathologise us for that, or say we are controlling or they blame us for the things we need to do, where they don’t recognise how hard we are working to look after ourselves, it can leave us feeling so unmet and disrespected.

And it’s so common for ignorant people with their opinions to create so much harm and undo all the work that we’ve been doing. I just want to say that it’s ok to look after you and to honour your own process, especially when others have criticised or pathologised your needs.

It’s ok. It makes sense. And no, you’re not weird. Trauma takes time. And patience. And kindness 🪷

You bet trauma survivors get attached to our little routines, rituals, & places. Our lives have been chaos. We value stability where & when we can find it— & when we can find it— which means we're often attached to little things & seemingly "random" places.

It makes sense. You're not weird.

15/03/2026

Debunking the anti-compassion narrative! No it’s not narcissistic to practice self-compassion. It’s not mentally healthy to beat yourself up. When we practice compassion, we also practice acceptance. We get unstuck because stuckness so often comes from the authentic way we are feeling being opposed by introjected self-criticism (and shame) telling us not to feel the way we feel. Focusing is about letting ourselves feel as we feel. Feel it to heal it! Name it to tame it! This is all good neuroscience. And Focusing Oriented Therapy interweaves with Compassion Focused Therapy so well. And if you have resistance to self kindness - that’s part of the process. Noticing the parts that feel resistance and offering them acceptance and compassion too!

07/03/2026

We can rebuild ourselves - root and branch - from the bottom up, examining all our deepest processes. And the willingness to do this. Metanoia. Post traumatic growth. Ready for a journey?

02/03/2026

Deep breath in, deep breath out. No matter how busy or overwhelming life feels, we can choose to slow down, notice and make the most of life’s precious everyday moments. Join us https://actionforhappiness.org/mindful-march

01/03/2026

Pay attention to this! We become the thoughts we rehearse

26/02/2026

This is such an important thing. And particularly with the parents of millennials, who really wanted to be friends with their kids.

And soooo many people’s perceptions and expectations of family relationships are based upon sitcoms and movies. Not based on real relationships.

There was this sense of parenting being done once kids are adults. But there is always a power imbalance and/or a perception imbalance and adult children (of all ages) look at their parents in a way that excludes them from being reciprocal or peer relationships. They are always going to ‘project’ onto their parent.

It can feel infuriating that the person an adult child is describing as their parent can feel totally divorced from who we are and how we are, what our values are, and how we see ourselves. A parent is never going to feel seen by their child. It IS unfair.

But, it’s not an appropriate place to look for an unmet need to feel seen to be met by a child (of any age). You are still the parent to them and they can’t see you clearly. Make sure you get your need to feel seen met elsewhere.

It’s a sad truth but, as Rachel says, it can be liberating to accept all of this. We can at least let go of arguing with reality. It doesn’t matter how old your parent is or how old your adult child gets: it’s never equal.

It can help people to think about it like when we do the work of recognising our privilege. There is always going to be an imbalance and difference. We might feel motivated to remove the difference, but we really need to move in the direction of making sure we own our privilege and acknowledge the difference. And this is ego work. It can be a painful process. Facing it can be a huge opportunity.

‘What is wise?’ is a helpful question. Likewise it can be helpful recognising that adult kids are doing what they need to do and they’re looking after themselves, offering them acceptance. We can hold space for love - even in separation. Growing is differentiation.

16/12/2025

15/12/2025

Touchingly shared by Ren