Hat Talks

Autistic, ADHD, Semi-Speaking Speech & Language Therapist. Blogger and neurodiversity advocate.

31/01/2024

I got tired of hearing “YOU’RE TOO MUCH” as an autistic ADHDer

I changed to be someone who was never too much, who was always just enough. I felt ashamed when I was “over the top” or “too excited.”

Everything that made me, me got stamped down, squished and hidden. I became so much less of a person as a result. I miss feeling comfortable being that person.

I would say I want to be that girl again, but I know the consequences of being that way. It’s small, steady steps with safe people 🤍

30/01/2024

Dear Simon Baron Cohen,

An open letter to you about my thoughts, feelings and experiences of being autistic & unaliving. You have consent to read these words. Had you read the pages of my diary 6 years ago you would not have had my consent. No one ever will.

35% of autistic people (very likely more) have planned or attempted the end of their life. There are so many people you can gain consent from, so many people who will give you some insight.

This research is well needed for our community. But I don’t want it if it’s not ethical and is based on the possession of someone who can no longer consent. It’s shameful.

Listen, do better, be better.

28/01/2024

After my autism diagnosis I went searching for information in childhood. I took myself back to the past and my life before that diagnosis and wrote it all down.

I came across many things that made me uncomfortable. I started processing things that I didn’t want to relive about my childhood. I had to confront uncomfortable truths. I started to process things that happened to me that shouldn’t have 10 years ago. I started to see it all in a new lens.

My new perspective was: I was not the problem. And suddenly, everything that I saw changed. I saw people treating me badly. I saw things I’d suppressed for years. I saw what my mind had hidden from me. A ton of trauma.

These realisations came to me initially and I didn’t understand the emotions attached. I had to revisit them again and again until I could process the emotion attached. With alexithymia, it can take me years to understand and process my emotions.

I took so much to therapy that my therapist has been waiting for me to uncover and process. I spoke a lot of honest thoughts that I hadn’t even realised I was thinking. I had a lot of discussions with my loved ones about past experiences. I left toxic relationships behind.

I’ve worked harder than ever in the past 2 years without anyone ever seeing it. My mind has been busy processing, organising and re-assessing my memories and trauma. It’s a big battle and I’m so proud of myself for doing it and not sweeping it all under the rug, which would have been a hell of a lot easier.

The journey continues ✌🏼💕

07/01/2024

Setting new boundaries after an autism/ADHD diagnosis was super hard for me, but well needed!

I learnt that I couldn’t continue to do all of the things I had done previously because it was draining too much of my energy. I needed to use my energy more effectively and that meant reducing demands.

I stopped saying “yes” to so many social commitments. I started leaving events earlier. I stopped forcing myself to speak so much. I stopped feeling guilty for not responding to messages for prolonged periods of time.

But it wasn’t easy to set boundaries with people. It wasn’t easy for other people to accept my change in productivity and taking on demands. I lost relationships as a result.

I don’t owe people the same things they expected of my prior to being identified. It’s more important that I give myself the best effort to maintain a healthy life and wellbeing…

06/01/2024

Over 2 years ago I started to suspect I was autistic. Here’s some of my early realisations… 🧠🌈

I stumbled across some notes I’d make about all the reasons I thought I might be autistic, following listening to some late-identified autistic women. Took me right back to the beginning of it all 👀

What were the first things that made you start questioning your autistic identity?

03/01/2024

Happy new year everyone ✨🎉🫶🏻

My plans for 2024 include working on these areas…
- Neuroinclusion & neuroaccessibility
- Better autism and ADHD assessments
- Neurodiversity Affirming Therapy & Practice
- Autism & ADHD acceptance
- Normalising AAC (Alternative & Augmentative Communication) use & semi-speaking
- Recognition of neurodivergent burnout

That’s much better than resolutions that my ADHD brain will never stick to 🙃✌🏼

02/01/2024

Christmas 2023 🎄✨🥰

Full of my favourite people, food and special interest presents 🦖🎁

December has been amazing… I asked my friend to be my Maid of Honour, spent time with family, made a cake like a Christmas tree, said yes to my wedding dress and went to a friend’s wedding 🥳

After 4 months of non-stop hard work I needed a break, from social media, work and advocacy. Feeling ready to hit this new year with energy and a fresh perspective.

Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and New Year 🥳🫶🏻

(ps. yes, those are dinosaur pjs, a dino onesie, and a shrek bucket hat… 🙃)

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Huddersfield

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http://www.hattalks.uk/, https://hattalks.etsy.com/

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