Lisa Harris Counsellor & supervisor, Hull

12/05/2025

"Brothers, sisters…
I speak to you, especially to those who no longer believe, no longer hope, no longer pray, because they think God has left.

To those who are fed up with scandals, with misused power, with the silence of a Church that sometimes seems more like a palace than a home.

I, too, was angry with God.
I, too, saw good people die, children suffer, grandparents cry without medicine.
And yes… there were days when I prayed and only felt an echo.

But then I discovered something:
God doesn't shout. God whispers.
And sometimes He whispers from the mud, from pain, from a grandmother who feeds you without having anything.

I don't come to offer you perfect faith.
I come to tell you that faith is a walk with stones, puddles, and unexpected hugs.

I'm not asking you to believe in everything.
I'm asking you not to close the door. Give a chance to the God who waits for you without judgment.

I'm just a priest who saw God in the smile of a woman who lost her son... and yet she cooked for others.

That changed me.

So if you're broken, if you don't believe, if you're tired of the lies...
come anyway. With your anger, your doubt, your dirty backpack.
No one here will ask you for a VIP card.

Because this Church, as long as I breathe, will be a home for the homeless, and a rest for the weary.

God doesn't need soldiers.
He needs brothers.

And you, yes, you...
are one of them."

This quote has been widely circulated over the last few days and been attributed to Robert Prevost (Leo XIV) as pictured.
This cannot be evidenced as it isn't showing as an original source elsewhere.

That said.
I am not Catholic, but I do have Christian faith.

I wanted to share this (wrongly attributed quote!) as it really spoke to me, and I can see it has spoken to thousands of others, going by how often it is shared.
I see it as a beautifully put, expression of what being a true Christian is and how a Church could helpfully behave and what to hold at its centre.

Rarely do we get a burning bush like Moses did, more often we get a whisper.
Yes, humans abuse power, as do institutions.
Yes, bad things happen to good people.
Yes, faith is not an easy journey.

A healthy church and therefore healthy Christians within it, will welcome a conversation with a person who brings anger and doubt and still be a place of rest for the weary.

It is not about fighting or conflict, it is about being a brother, as in a person along side, in time of need. In seeing beyond the presenting pain or behaviour, and remembering the teachings of the Christian faith. To love your neighbour as yourself.
Several times in the bible, both Old and New Testament this is written.
The as yourself bit is often forgotten I think, however that is a different conversation.

Everyone has some kind of faith or spirituality within them, although we may not call it such, it may be expressed as core values in the way we choose to live.

It may be helpful to reflect on what this quote says to you or what meaning it has for you, as thousands of others have over recent days.

09/05/2025

"Today was a Difficult Day," said Pooh.
There was a pause.
"Do you want to talk about it?" asked Piglet.
"No," said Pooh after a bit. "No, I don't think I do."
"That's okay," said Piglet, and he came and sat beside his friend.
"What are you doing?" asked Pooh.
"Nothing, really," said Piglet. "Only, I know what Difficult Days are like. I quite often don't feel like talking about it on my Difficult Days either.
"But goodness," continued Piglet, "Difficult Days are so much easier when you know you've got someone there for you. And I'll always be here for you, Pooh."
And as Pooh sat there, working through in his head his Difficult Day, while the solid, reliable Piglet sat next to him quietly, swinging his little legs...he thought that his best friend had never been more right."
A.A. Milne

When we work as therapists our work is confidential. This means we don't get to talk to those around us - our family, friends or partners about our working day.

Instead, we have supervision. Our supervisors are an essential part of our support network. We may have 1-2-1, group or peer supervision, or a combination of all of them. We may have consultant supervisors for specific issues or specialist ways of working.

As a client you may not realise just how much work, care and thought your therapist puts in to your time together yet still endeavours to make it seem effortless for you to be present with them. You may not realise there's probably a whole team behind the scenes who don't know exactly who you are, yet all have your best interests at heart and are supporting your therapist to be the best for you, and to look after themselves within that process.

You, and your therapist, are being supported, encouraged, guided, as well as cheered on and when appropriate, your wins, however small are celebrated too.

All this happens without you probably being aware of it.

I've had, and have wonderful supervisors. I have a long term 1-2-1, I have the tremendous trio ( we're all experienced supervisors), peer supervision and specialist consultant supervisors. Most weeks I have a few hours of supervision one way or another.
This ensures all my clients and supervisees are held professionally and ethically, and I too am supported as well as accountable.

Being a supervisor is a part of my work I really love. To support, encourage and guide supervisees through their own practice, job role or training and see them grow in confidence, be successful in the way they choose and thrive is wonderful.
I appreciate and value offering consultancy for specific work or development too.

I have one place becoming available for regular 1-2-1 supervision on a Thursday morning, from the end of August.
If you think we may be a good fit and you'd like to explore this further we could arrange a 90 minute initial consultation before committing to this regular work together.
This gives plenty time to settle in, ask and answer questions and for us to get a good feel of what you need and what I can offer.

You can read more here if you'd like to
https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/counsellors/lisa-harris

Click the supervision button or email me directly to lhcounselling@live.co.uk

As Piglet said, "Difficult days are so much easier when you know you've got someone there for you".

08/05/2025

The smallest gate in the world?!
A metaphor.
This popped up in my photo memories, reminding me of a lovely day.
What I see in it today is slightly different to what I did then.
Today I'm pondering ...
Even when there's a small gate, we can still pass through and there can be joy, adventures and happiness at the other side.
Today it speaks to me of challenging times, and of the reminder many have trodden a path before us and many will come after. The way forward has been made easier by them, if we realise it or not.
All, pass through.

We never really know what's beyond a tight squeeze in life, but I do know diamonds are formed under extreme pressure.
And, there's always a way.
Take a breath.
Look for the small gate 🙏

03/05/2025

Over used phrases.
A real frustration of mine is when people with little to no professional training or experience use clinical terms inaccurately.

Why?
Because, I feel, it minimises the actual experience of people who are deeply distressed by these genuine experiences and symptoms.
See also, "oh the weather is a bit bi-polar isn't it" (because it was sunny this morning and now it's raining), and "I'm so depressed" (because you randomly feel a bit flat today).
Please, stop it.

I have been further frustrated by a recent TV programme that referred to someone "probably having PTSD" just days after experiencing something distressing.
This showed a complete lack of understanding of what PTSD actually is, how and when it is assessed or diagnosed.
Research properly.

Please, understand it is unfair and inaccurate to use genuine clinical terms as throw away comments.
It is often silently deeply hurtful to people who are experiencing the significant difficulties you are (inaccurately) describing.
It's invalidating.
This can sometimes lead to people further internalising their difficulties and can make it harder for them to ask for help.

This in turn can make therapists who are well trained, experienced and very passionate about their work, a bit ranty on a soap boxy ...

Sincerely,
Lisa

(A specialist trauma therapist and clinical supervisor with almost 20 years experience).

*Dismounts Facebook soapbox*

31/03/2025

Dear Diana Johnson MP

I am writing to you as a professional practitioner accredited by the National Counselling & Psychotherapy Society (NCPS) and a member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP), in response to recent comments made by Secretary of State for Health and Social Care, Wes Streeting MP, and Minister of State for Care, Stephen Kinnock MP.

Their statements about an alleged 'overdiagnosis' of mental health conditions, and particularly Minister Kinnock's inaccurate remarks regarding an 'unregulated private sector', have raised significant concerns within our profession.

Firstly, I would like to emphasise that counsellors & psychotherapists, such as myself, do not diagnose mental health conditions. Diagnosis is not part of our training or professional practice. Instead, we provide relational, therapeutic support to people, many of whom are experiencing emotional distress caused by life events such as bereavement, trauma, financial difficulties, or relationship breakdowns, but also to people who are accessing therapy to develop resilience, deal with change, or simply know themselves better.

I have trained from level 2 through to level 7 (Post Graduate) in my profession, and have worked as a therapist for almost 20 years. I have a Diploma, two degrees, a Post Graduate Diploma and now specialise in trauma, particularly PTSD and Complex PTSD. I am trained to assess and treat trauma responses using a range of trauma treatment processes, yet am clear, I do not diagnose. A psychiatrist or clinical psychologist is trained to do that.

As a professional member of these membership bodies, I adhere to a strict Code of Ethics and professional standards, which are overseen by the Professional Standards Authority (PSA). My high-quality training, regular supervision, and continuous professional development ensure I provide safe, ethical, and effective support.

At a time when NHS mental health services are severely overstretched, with long waiting lists and recovery rates hovering around only 50%, private counsellors & psychotherapists are providing essential support for people unable to access adequate public sector help. Many clients seeking my services have already experienced NHS Talking Therapies and have come to me for more appropriate support. I spent years working for single point of access and then later IAPT in the NHS as a self employed therapist, I left as I was trained to offer more than my job (and the funding) allowed me to be with the clients. I now work exclusively privately and receive a fair rate for my specialist services, yet no job security of employment, pension or other benefit of being employed by the NHS or similar.

Minister Kinnock's comments unfairly tarnish qualified, ethical practitioners and create further stigma, discouraging vulnerable people from seeking the help that they need. Government efforts could instead focus on genuinely unregulated areas, such as misinformation spread online by people who are completely unqualified. The Online Safety Act, for example, offers a legislative framework through which large technology companies could be held accountable for the spread of harmful mental health misinformation. Additionally, funding loopholes in adult education, particularly around asynchronous, distance-learning counselling courses that claim to allow people to ‘train as a counsellor in a weekend’, present further areas for scrutiny should the Government wish to improve public safety.

In addition to this, I would highlight I encounter people who believe they have been diagnosed because of throw away words used by professionals they encounter, or people they believe are professionals. When vulnerable people hear words used like "You're clearly depressed" or "You have trauma" they stay with them and and they are absorbed as fact. More often people have self diagnosed from social media content, and often these accounts are by people who are not professionally trained and who are creating the belief that self diagnosis in every case is as valid as an experienced professional's assessments and their structured treatment plans when these are appropriate.
What this misses is that if you are walking around with a hammer, everything looks like a nail. I am trained and experienced to noticed the finer detail differences between, for example, BPD, C-PTSD, PTSD, ADHD, depression and natural human responses in difficult situations. Often, I see mis-diagnosis from the spike in 'experts' who do not have the depth of wider training and understanding and instead are focusing on symptoms fitting the description in front of them. This means people are not being treated appropriately or offered the correct support. I have many examples in my own practice of people who have been 'told' they are neurodivergent, or have BPD when in fact they are experiencing complex trauma responses, and vice versa. The NHS is not set up to assess this at ground level, and IAPT is not set up to treat this.

I kindly urge you, as my MP, to raise these issues directly with Ministers Wes Streeting and Stephen Kinnock, ensuring they clearly differentiate between qualified counsellors & psychotherapists, and genuinely unregulated, harmful practices. Furthermore, I would ask for your support in promoting the extremely valuable role professional counsellors & psychotherapists play within the wider mental health sector.

Thank you very much for your time and consideration. You have been my MP for years and I have always appreciated how active and vocal you are for your constituents and on wider important issues. I would appreciate your support on this issue and look forward to hearing from you.

Yours sincerely,
Lisa Harris (She / Her)

BA (Hons) FD Dip C MBACP MNCPS (Acc.)
Psychotherapist, clinical & consultant supervisor,
Certified Traumatologist : Pg Dip in Traumatology and PTSD (Course Accredited by NCIP)

Tel : 07866061165
Further information:
http://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/counsellors/lisa-harris
http://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/supervisor_32853.html
Social Media:
https://www.facebook.com/lisaharriscounsellor

Online Supervision, Consultancy and Therapy appointments:
Tuesdays, Wednesdays & Thursdays.

**This is an email I have sent to Diana Johnson and I will add her response when I hear I it.
You are welcome to share this or/and tag your own MP.

Some of the above content has been taken from email suggestions from the National Counselling & Psychotherapy Society

31/03/2025

Share your thoughts in the comments. Here's a couple of mine ⬇️

I'd tell younger me to stop buying house plants because I'll always inadvertently kill them by forgetting to look after them, and feel sad about it every time!

I'd also tell her that playing the long game really does work out in the end, trust the process, she's doing so much better than she realises.

What would you say?
Let's learn from each other.

31/03/2025

Survival instructions: ⬇️
A tiny seed of hope is enough in this one moment.
Breathe.
Breathe again.
Breathe all the way out.
Pause.
Breathe slowly.
All the way out.
You're doing this, see?
One moment at a time.
Take it one moment at a time.
You have a 100% survival rate of difficult days so far, you can do this sh*tstorm moment too.
Things will change, they will.
I don't know when, but they will.
Everything does.
Everything.
Always.
Just breathe.
For now, just breathe.
Breathe again.
Breathe all the way out.
Slow it down.
Breathe out again.
You're doing this, see?
We're both doing this.
One moment at a time
❤️

28/03/2025

Too often we only see possibilities as polarities, and not that we can exist in the in-between.

Great share Corry Fawcett Therapy

❤️

28/03/2025

If you're wondering what it would be like to hear me say such a thing, just try saying it in a Geordie accent 😉 ⬇️

As a fellow therapist said to me quite some time ago when we were discussing congruence, and ethics of authenticity and genuineness - "Sometimes only a swear word will do!"

In therapy and supervision I invite those I work with and support to be their authentic self. In turn, I offer my authentic self too.

That means, if you swear that's ok with me.
If you don't swear, that's ok with me.
If you use wild hand gestures that's ok with me.
If you express yourself in contemporary dance or song that's ok with me.
If you want to show me your pet that's ok with me.
If you struggle to find words that's ok with me.
If you feel really emotional that's ok with me.
If you want to draw or write what's in your thoughts that's ok with me.
If you want to scream that's ok with me.
If you want to tell me something funny that happened since I saw you last that's ok with me.
If you want to tell me something amazing happened that's ok with me.
If you want to tell me something you've never told anyone that's ok with me.
If you're scared and need to take it slowly that's ok with me.
If you want to dive right in that's ok with me.

So please, let's be authentic together ☺️

Sweary Therapy you might like this one too!

28/03/2025

27/03/2025

Why do I ask about your sleep, dreams or nightmares? What's the difference between a night terror and a nightmare?
When working with people who have experienced trauma, understanding what you're experiencing, specifically, can help me ascertain the most likely helpful trauma process for you to support you into recovery and beyond. This includes your experience of sleep and rest, not just how you experience life in your waking hours.

The following is from the American Psychological Association

Clinicians concerned that a patient may have a problem such as sleep paralysis, sleep terrors, or nightmare disorder should know that many patients do not have the language to describe or differentiate these experiences. As a result, they may refer to any of them simply as nightmares, said Antonio Zadra, PhD, a psychology professor at the University of Montreal. “These disorders and their treatments are very different. If a patient reports having nightmares, some basic questioning is warranted,” he said.

Here is a reference guide:

Bad dreams
The distinction between a bad dream and a nightmare is quite subjective, but some researchers describe bad dreams as moderately distressing dreams that do not cause the dreamer to wake up.

Nightmares
Some researchers define nightmares as distressing dreams that cause a person to awaken because of their frightening imagery or the emotions they evoke. They tend to be elaborate and well-remembered. Nightmares usually occur during rapid eye movement (REM) sleep, typically in the second half of the night. Nightmares are most frequent between ages 6 and 10, but occasional ones are common in people of all ages.

PTSD-related nightmares
Nightmares are common after a trauma, affecting up to 70% of people with posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD). They often closely replicate traumatic events. Unlike nontraumatic nightmares, they occur across all stages of sleep, not just during REM sleep.

Complex nightmares
Some researchers have begun studying “complex” nightmares, which they define as trauma-related nightmares that coexist with sleep apnea. When their sleep architecture is disturbed by disordered breathing, someone with complex nightmares may be less likely to remember the content of those dreams.

Sleep terrors
These are sleep disorders, or parasomnias, which occur during slow-wave non-REM sleep, usually in the first half of the night. Unlike nightmares, they do not contain elaborate dream scenes. People often wake screaming from sleep terrors but have no memory of the event the next morning. Sleep terrors tend to peak in children 3 to 7 years old.

Sleep paralysis
Sleep paralysis occurs when a person becomes conscious while still transitioning from sleep to wakefulness. The person is unable to move for seconds or minutes and may feel panic, pressure, or a sensation of suffocating. Sleep paralysis is thought to be related to a disturbed REM cycle and is estimated to affect about 8% of the general population and nearly a third of psychiatric patients (Sharpless, B. A., & Barber, J. P., Sleep Medicine Reviews, Vol. 15, No. 5, 2011).