Family Alcohol Support

01/09/2021

Stress can feel like a baseline condition for many of us – especially during a pandemic. But there are ways to help alleviate the very worst of it, whether through support, sleep or radical self-care

12/08/2021

Many of the clients we work with suffer from addiction. This could be alcohol and/or drugs and usually stems from childhood trauma; which ultimately has a huge impact on their mental health, as well as their ability to establish and maintain relationships. We aim to be the one constant in people’s...

10/08/2021

Drinking at home was once a guilty pleasure. Now everyone from bored homeworkers to professional influencers is swapping cocktail recipes and photos of colourful aperitifs. Is gin o’clock turning into unhappy hour?

02/04/2020

Seven practices to help you navigate quarantine.

07/03/2020

06/08/2018

Some signs that a loved one’s drinking negatively affects you (and that you might find a meeting helpful) include

You lie about or cover up for a loved one’s drinking
You worry about the drinking
Drinking in the family causes money problems
You blame your loved one’s friends for the drinking
You’ve made threats to end a relationship unless the drinking stops
You secretly try to see if your loved one has been drinking, such as by smelling his or her breath
You often have to change or cancel plans because of the drinking
You sometimes search for hidden alcohol
You worry about upsetting your loved one lest you set off his or her drinking
Drinking sometimes spoils holidays or family get-togethers
You sometimes get in a car with a loved-one who has been drinking
Sometimes you turn down social invitations because you’re worried about what might happen if you attended8

16/04/2018

Angel came into counseling knowing that something was wrong but not knowing what it was. After being married for seven years, he noticed his wife became more secretive and distant. Money from their savings account was missing and unaccounted for, his wife would disappear frustrated and return weirdl...

03/07/2017

My dad was an addict, and growing up with him taught me a lot.

25/06/2017

In “ALATEEN TALK," an anonymous member shares:

“I hated my mom for being drunk and passing out on the weekends. Then I went to counseling and found Alateen. I learned that her drinking was not my fault. I am in the process of forgiving my mother. It is hard but I am trying."

“ALATEEN TALK," Vol. 5 No. 3

If you know a teen whose life is or has been affected by someone else's drinking, you may want to share information about Alateen with them. It may be what they need to help them cope. For more information about the Alateen program, visit goo.gl/bBJtJ5.

28/05/2017

Alcoholism is just a legal addiction. Alcohol is a class A drug and most all He**in addicts I have worked with who found themselves left with alcoholism when they gave up drugs Alcohol is the worst to abstain from.....

And abstinence is the only solution for an alcoholic - there is no such thing as a social he**in use - there is no such thing as social drinking for an alcoholic.

Don't believe a partner or loved one who tells you they have cracked the secret ! Drop me a line if you have any questions......

04/04/2017

If domestic violence has become part of your life whether through some one elses alcohol and drug use then please know there are ways out - please feel free to DM us but please delete all messages after - stay safe first and keep hope, you'll get there, but you need help to get there.

Refuge - domestic violence help for women and children - 0808 2000 247

Women’s Aid - support for abused women and children – or call the National Domestic Violence Helpline, run by Women’s Aid and Refuge, on 0808 2000 247

Men’s Advice Line - for advice and support for men experiencing domestic violence and abuse - 0808 801 0327

04/04/2017

THE ROLES WITHIN ADDICTED FAMILIES - ARE YOU IN HERE ?

The Addict

The obvious focal point of the family’s duress when dealing with addiction is the addict him or herself. The addict is the center of the codependent family, and their needs, wants and desires becomes the absolute center of the family’s world. As the addict continues their behavior and takes over the family landscape, the other family members will unconsciously take on another role (which are listed below) in an attempt to balance out the problems that the addict is creating. In the event that the addict seeks professional drug treatment and counseling, getting the addict the help they need can start the process of getting family members the help they need in order to free themselves from the roles they are assuming.

The Caretaker

Perhaps the most recognizable codependency role in a family that is struggling with addiction is the one of the caretaker. The caretaker is the person that has taken on the addict’s responsibilities and problems and attempts to keep the family happy and in balance. The caretaker shield the addict from the consequences of their addiction and also hides family problems from friends and society. By taking on the addict’s problems, the caretaker also becomes an enabler and readily offers solutions to the addict’s problems that don’t include having the addict face the consequences of their addiction.

The Hero

For the family member who adopts the codependency role of hero in an addicted family, they feel they need to make the family look good and are high-achievers. The hero ignores the addiction problem and present things in a positive manner as if the roles within the family did not exist. The hero role in an addicted family is commonly assumed by the oldest child, and they will take on adult roles such as cleaning and cooking. If the addicted loved one in question is a parent, the hero will take on the role of caretaker. While the hero seemingly has their act straight, they feel a tremendous amount of guilt and shame and may develop workaholic tendencies if they continue to assume this role.

The Scapegoat

In opposition to the hero, the person who assumes the codependency role of the scapegoat is defiant and attempts to divert attention away from the family by acting out. Those who assume the scapegoat role are angry, hostile and are constantly in trouble at work, school and with the law. Behind the confrontational facade, the scapegoat harbors feelings of loneliness, anger and emptiness and can often turn to drugs and alcohol themselves in order to dull the pain they feel.

The Mascot

For the family member who adopts the mascot role in this dysfunction family situation, they are the family clown who tries to bring levity and humor in an attempt to draw attention away from family troubles. The humor that the mascot will use will be immature and harmful, and it is a direct reflection of the anger and sadness they feel on the inside. If the mascot continues in their role, they will develop significant issues in dealing with problems as they mature.

The Lost Child

The lost child is quiet and reserved, and they will never mention a loved one’s addiction or voice their feelings about recovery. The way that the lost child deals with a loved one’s addiction is through withdrawing from the family unit, and they will give up their self needs. Because the lost child withdraws from the family, they become forgotten about and they feel tremendous feelings of neglect, loneliness and eventually anger. If the lost child continues in their role, they will lack healthy social skills and will experience great difficulty in making and keeping healthy relationships.

sobernation.

28/03/2017

Alcoholism is obviously a thief to those having their peace of mind stolen and finances rifled.

The cruelest thing is that the sufferer sees it not as a thief but a loan shark - they know there are consequences but when they need it the consequences just don't matter. They come later.

Drop us a mail at alcoholsolutions@icloud.com for a no obligation free assessment for solution focussed planning for you and your loved ones.

27/03/2017

"If you could imagine the most incredible story ever, it would be less incredible than the story of being here." Right?

ANYTHING is possible if you take the rights steps.. alcoholsolutions@icloud.com reach out - assessments are free and confidential.

I took this picture on January 29th, 2013, on a business trip. I'd stumbled out of bed late, hungover. My staff made it to the office before me and I sat in my hotel room drinking tea and listening to Bhagavan Das and meditating with Gabby Bernstein and repeating whatever May Cause Miracles mantra was up for the day and trying so hard to believe that I could choose love over fear. I was terrified I would always be this fu**ed up/I'd never be able to pass up happy hours and airport bars/I'd keep getting older and still wake up regretting everything/I'd die this way. Terrified. But I kept going, doing the work through my fear and depression and hate and shame. I had to. I couldn't settle for this s**t excuse of an existence anymore. I couldn't keep dying while I was still alive.

Yesterday for over 5 hours, not too far from where this picture was taken, with almost 4 concurrent years of sobriety under my belt, I sat in a room of Us - the ones who've been broken, the ones who have to keep breaking. The ones who've had to wake up or die.

Laura posted this quote last night: "If you could imagine the most incredible story ever, it would be less incredible than the story of being here." Right?

There's so much I want to say this morning.

•To that girl 4 years ago who was dying / I want to say good, let it die so you can be born.

•To all 75 of you who came out this weekend and did that crazy s**t with us and then sat in a circle and shared the deepest most beautiful painful things about you with each other and held each other / there aren't words for how beautiful you are, how brave you are, how glorious you are; all I wanted to do in that circle was be creepy and hold your face and wipe your tears and tell you I see you; because I See You. And I love you with every fiber of my being.

•To all of you on this thread, especially those of you who are terrified, and stuck, and broken, and unable to imagine a minute beyond the pain and heartbreak of this one / I want to tell you it turns out alright; that it's alright this minute even when it hurts; and that whatever story you could possibly imagine, it pales in comparison to the epic that is you and your becoming.