02/09/2025
😂 had to share this… just love it, made me chuckle
How to Become an Armchair Equestrian Expert (AEE) In Just 5 Easy Steps! 🐴🛋️💻
Tired of watching people actually ride horses while you bravely battle equestrian injustice from your couch? Want to correct horse owners online with unsolicited advice? Then saddle up, champ—here’s your foolproof guide to becoming a keyboard warrior of the equestrian world:
1. Forget Experience—Google Is Your Trainer 🧠📲
Why waste time mucking stables or riding when a quick Google search and two episodes of “Heartland” will tell you everything you need to know about training, vet care, and Olympic-level show jumping? Wikipedia never lies.
2. Find Forums and Facebook Groups—Then Lurk & Pounce 🕵️♂️💬
Join every equestrian group known to man. Wait for someone to post about a minor issue like “my horse seems stiff on the left rein,” and then attack. Bonus points if you suggest they’re abusing their horse —because that one video clip tells you everything.
3. Use Phrases Like “Back in My Day” and “Any Real Horseperson Would Know…” 🧓🎓
Even if your “day” was a weekly group lesson at the local riding school , claim ancient wisdom. Drop vague, non-helpful advice like “horses just need respect” or “you need to show him who’s boss” with no further explanation.
4. Dismiss Professionals—You Know Better 🏆🤷♀️
Vets, farriers, trainers with decades of experience? Amateurs, clearly. You read one sponsored blog on equine biomechanics, so you obviously know more than someone who went to vet school.
5. Never Admit You’re Wrong—Double Down Instead 💪🔥
If someone challenges your advice with actual evidence or experience, accuse them of being “an idiot”. The true mark of an armchair expert is never retreating, no matter how wrong you are. It’s called confidence!
And remember, the more reactions your comment gets, the more respected you are in the AEE community.
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Congratulations! You are now certified in Unsolicited Advice, Armchair Equestrian Expert edition. No horses were helped in the making of your expertise—but your ego? Impeccably groomed.
