15/06/2025
Father’s Day . My father is in his late eighties now. A little more stooped and grey. Growing up, he was never one for big outpourings of love, public displays of affection. He showed love in different ways. I didn’t always understand it then. But looking back now, I can see that every time I asked to borrow the farm truck, he did his best to make it happen. The headlights and windscreen were always washed. When I was little, he always asked me if I had remembered a jacket if it was cold or a hat if it was hot or had 2p in my pocket (yes, 2p!!) so I could use a public pay phone if I needed to call home. If I was overwhelmed with school work, he would do my chores. Sometimes I’d find my shoes or boots cleaned and I hadn’t asked for that. Little things that showed love and care.
Parenting when my mum died and he was grief stricken himself. Being a parent is not something you do in isolation. Life keeps happening at the same time as being a parent. Work still to be done, navigating a challenging path as best you can and doing the best you can.
I was at a funeral this week. An elderly gent’ described as a hero by his adult children and grandchildren. How lovely .
I work with many people whose experiences are vastly different from those described. Fathers who were absent both physically and in others ways. Fathers who were abusive . Fathers who are estranged from their children, not by choice. People who have recently lost their fathers to death or illness. Fathers who are struggling with parenthood because it’s all so new or maybe because they had no role model to follow. People who are grieving because they will not be fathers or whose children have died.
To all the fathers or would be or soon to be fathers out there, today we celebrate you.
If today is hard, know that I stand beside you, an arm around your shoulder. Be gentle with yourself and give yourself all the love, care and tenderness you need.
Sending love and positive vibes to all who need this today .
