24/04/2024
My beautiful Millie, the kindest, most gentle, loving and compassionate soul I have ever had the privilege of knowing was very sadly put to sleep yesterday morning at 5am.
She had a malignant and very aggressive tumour, which quickly spread to her vital organs. As any dog, or pet owner, will know, deciding on the right time to help your companion sleep peacefully is often an excruciatingly heartbreaking and utterly devastating decision to have to make. But, there will always be a point within this (quite frankly) - gut wrenching - process where your loyal companion will look intensely into your eyes and tell you that they’re tired, and that that they’ve had enough. I suppose, in a way, it’s a final act of love and a real privilege to be able to cease the suffering of someone (or something) you love unconditionally and be there for them at the final point of death - not that it makes the process any easier to go through with of course.
My beautiful Millie was 14 years old, she led a kind, loving and ultimately very happy life. She spent many years working alongside me as a therapy dog and has helped hundreds of children from complex, diverse and often difficult backgrounds. She has worked with patients in an acute mental health ward, clients from cancer care, mind and the police. She has worked in palliative and residential settings, special schools, pupil referral units, and helped to build resilience working with young people in care. She has helped families referred by the NHS, war veterans suffering from PTSD, and has also helped students increase their own sense of wellbeing and helped them to explore different concepts of leadership, helping them to enhance their own self-awareness.
Her kindness, non judgement and love for all, allowed her to connect to even the most shut down and/or traumatised of individuals. Where I, or other professionals, had struggled to connect or build a solid therapeutic alliance, Millie was able to instantly bring about a sense of trust, calm, connectedness and a true sense of joy, which allowed for some very powerful moments in our clients (all too often) chaotic lives. Who knew her gentle energy and wagging tail could bring about so much joy (and hope), even in the darkest of hours.
In her retirement, Millie continued to use her “angel dog” status in older life to steal donuts off my mum, make friends with prostitutes, run off with the local cats (she just bloomin - loved - them!?) and enforce extra bum scratches from those she loved most!
Millie was always the kindest and most gentle, loyal, calm, incredibly loving and sweetest of souls. She remained faithfully by my side for her whole life, always keeping me in her line of sight - I was so incredibly lucky to be her whole world. It didn’t matter where I was at, emotionally, mentally or even physically - she just continued to love me, unconditionally. And I, of course, her.
Although, devastatingly, Millie won’t be with me for the rest of my life, I am incredibly privileged to have been able to be by her side for the whole of hers.
So, whilst indeed grateful for the life of my dear, beautiful and sweet, Millie, I am of course heartbroken, devastated and struggling to adapt to her loss. Although there is a small part of me (despite being a staunched atheist at times) which does like to believe that she is now running freely with my beautiful mum… both free of pain, endlessly joyful, eating donuts a plenty, and dancing beautifully somewhere over a rainbow.
Perhaps one of the biggest things
I have learnt from our dear Millie is that family is - anyone - who loves you unconditionally.
Sleep well my beautiful girl.
Thank you for everything. You are so missed.
🌈
