Relationship Counselling Therapy Kenilworth

Relationship Counselling Therapy Kenilworth Relationship issues…

“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.”

Call Stuart: 07825 599340 /01926 910031

Relationships are the testing ground , the ultimate proof of our ability to love ourselves.The bright and sometimes harsh searchlight of love will bring to the surface anything in ourselves that we have not loved . That is why relationships afford the greatest opportunities for us to learn to stay centered in our love for ourselves.Only by loving ourselves, can we really love others . Until you le

arn to love yourself, you will always be demanding from others what you have not given yourself.Love then becomes need , not a celebration . In every human being resides the needs for closeness and independence.We have deep urges to merge with another person,and we have equally strong urges to develop ourselves completely as separate beings.Ideally we would surrender ourselves fully to union with others at the same time that we explore and express our own full potential.Often it is not so easy , many of us are blocked in one or the other of the two dimensions,sometimes both.We may not allow ourselves to get close,but we may not allow our selves to be independent, either . We end up locking ourselves in a intermediary zone, a psychological purgatory , neither in union or autonomous. Often closeness in a relationship will bring fear to the surface and the affected partner attempts to control the relationship to keep from being abandoned.Another trait used is invalidation, if the partner is wrong or invalidated , abandonment will not seem such an issue but will reinforce beliefs and insecurities. Learning to love yourself , in the passion and friction of close relationships
Life changes, and so can you! Call Stuart: +44 7825 599340 / 0121 403 3163
stuart@stuartdowning.co.uk
www.stuartdowning.co.uk

Insomnia and Sleep Issues Lying awake at night, staring at the ceiling, feeling wired but exhausted? If that sounds fami...
10/02/2025

Insomnia and Sleep Issues
Lying awake at night, staring at the ceiling, feeling wired but exhausted?
If that sounds familiar , there’s a good chance your cortisol levels are out of control.
And here’s the deal: high cortisol is more than just a bad night’s sleep—it’s a serious roadblock to your health, energy, and your ability to hit the flow state.
Cortisol is your body’s built-in alarm system.
It’s meant to help you handle stress, but when it sticks around too long—especially at night—it can wreak havoc on your sleep.
Studies show that elevated evening cortisol is one of the biggest culprits behind tossing and turning, disrupted sleep cycles, and that feeling of being “tired but wired”.
When your cortisol levels are too high in the evening, your body stays in a state of alertness, making it nearly impossible to relax and fall asleep.
And poor sleep doesn’t just affect your mood—it drags down your entire health, energy, and performance.
The Cost of High Cortisol:
1. Disrupted Sleep
High cortisol messes with your body’s natural circadian rhythm, making it harder to fall asleep and stay asleep. You wake up feeling drained, no matter how long you’ve been in bed.
2. Increased Stress and Anxiety
Cortisol is linked to heightened stress responses. If your cortisol stays high, your body is constantly in “fight-or-flight” mode, which leads to more stress, anxiety, and mental fog during the day.
3. Blocked Flow State
Cortisol doesn’t just affect your sleep—it blocks your ability to enter the flow state. The flow state is where you’re fully focused and performing at your best, but high cortisol keeps your brain stuck in overdrive, making it impossible to focus deeply or think creatively.
Now, imagine what happens when you cut evening cortisol by 25%.
You’re not just lowering your stress—you’re giving your body the green light to relax, sleep deeply, and wake up energized.
Lowering cortisol improves your sleep quality, reduces anxiety, and opens the door for you to finally access the flow state.
When cortisol comes down:
1. Deep, Restorative Sleep
Lower cortisol allows your body to enter its natural rest-and-recover mode, improving sleep quality and helping you wake up refreshed and ready to take on the day.
2. Reduced Anxiety, More Clarity
When your cortisol levels are balanced, you’ll notice less anxiety, better mental clarity, and an increased sense of calm. This sets you up for a more productive, focused day.
3. More Consistent Flow State
With cortisol in check, your mind and body can work together, making it easier to slip into the flow state—where creativity, focus, and high performance come effortlessly.
You don’t have to spend another night staring at the ceiling, trapped in a cycle of poor sleep and high stress.
Lowering your evening cortisol naturally is possible, and it’s the key to better sleep, more energy, and consistent access to the flow state.
Call Stuart - 07825 599340 to discuss your insomnia issue in more detail
Email - stuart .co.uk
https://hypnotherapy4freedom.co.uk/.../hypnotherapy-for...
Client reviews - https://hypnotherapy4freedom.co.uk/reviews

Stuart Downing is a trusted hypnotherapist helping clients overcome their issues across the UK and worldwide. Read his reviews here.

25/11/2023

When we met, you knew what kind of person I was..I was clear about my intentions.
I don’t play games nor tolerate players..I leave that amusement for those chasing shallow feelings and lackluster dreams.
No, I told you that I needed more, I craved the truth and I deserved the best.
If you’re not willing to step up and have a mature relationship, then now is the time to set the record straight.
I’m not settling for being an option, and I’m never going to be your “maybe.”
If you don’t know what you want or if you have to stop and think, then I’m not the one for you.
I play for keeps and I wear my heart on my sleeve- anything less than soul stirring, heart sparking passion doesn’t interest me..
I’ve kissed enough frogs to know that I’m holding out for the one who can make me feel like nothing I’ve ever known.
Maybe I’m a dreamer, but I want the kisses that bring forth butterflies, the touch that gives me chills, the look that singes my soul.
I don’t know if you’re up to the task and can handle my heat, but if you’re not willing to face the fire of my passion, then let’s just part ways now.
I’m never going to chase you, beg for your attention or be anything less than a priority.
I realize that you may think I’m a handful, too much or demanding, but I know my worth..that’s never changing.
I’m showing you who I am and you’ll always know where you stand with me..
So, I’m fiery, I’m strong willed and I’m one of a kind, and if you didn’t know that by now, start paying attention.
I’m not waiting around for you to figure it out, think about things or play the field, love isn’t a competition and I’m not a prize for your possession.
I’m real, I’m authentic and you’ll never meet another person like me.
Maybe you’re not ready, maybe you’re working things out or just don’t know what you want..and I’m good with that, everyone has their own path..
Just don’t expect me to be waiting for you at the end of the road, hoping you’ll let me love you.
I know I built high walls around my heart and I don’t just let anyone in..
But this is who I am and how I feel, take it or leave it.
Are you stepping up to try to win my heart or walking away?
I don’t need to be fixed or saved, I just want to be loved..just as I am.
I deserve that,
Now and always.
|ravenwolf

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Find my books here: www.theravenwolf.com

My newest book, Strong Woman Arisen, can be found here:

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Poor body image can affect intimacy and libido Communicating our feelings and desires, removing limiting beliefs and emb...
21/04/2022

Poor body image can affect intimacy and libido
Communicating our feelings and desires, removing limiting beliefs
and embarrassing emotions can all contribute to a healthy relationship.
Anxiety...blame.. shame. .jealousy can all interfere with our need for
fulfilment ,security and relationship happiness .
Increased desire.... arousal .....increased satisfaction can all contribute to loving, secure happy relationships and feelings of high self esteem .
Zoom appointments available
Call Stuart - 07825 599340 for a free in confidence telephone consultation
Email - stuart@stuartdowning.co.uk
https://hypnotherapy4freedom.com/.../hypnotherapy-for...
What our clients say - https://www.stuartdowning.co.uk/client-reviews
https://youtu.be/giMOxVmuaVI

S*x Therapy can help you if you're experiencing difficulties in your love life and can help you to improve physical intimacy. If s*xual problems are preventi...

05/08/2021
09/05/2021

Client review posted today- on independently verified review site regarding my clients coaching experience.
Call Stuart - 07825 599340 for a no obligation call to discuss how coaching can be beneficial to you .
stuart@stuartdowning.co.uk
www.stuartdowning.co.uk
Online appointments available now
https://www.stuartdowning.co.uk/client-reviews

I cannot recommend Stuart enough. Stuarts professionalism and understanding of such a wide variety of life issues that effect mental health, relationships and personal development allowed me to work a process of recovery from rock bottom. Stuart is not just a Hypnotherapist his talking therapy is al...

28/04/2021

Client review posted today .
Call Stuart - 07825 599340 to discuss your issue and how hypnotherapy and neuro- therapy techniques can enable you to break free .
See all client reviews - https://www.stuartdowning.co.uk/client-reviews
Online Zoom appointments available
stuart@stuartdowning.co.uk
www,hypnotherapy4freedom.com

Stuart is a masterful practitioner within his field. I contacted his hypnotherapy practice full of scepticism after realising I needed to seek alternative avenues to those I’d already explored. Stuart listened to my problems and then gave me insight into the mental triggers and impulses that influ...

26/03/2021

NEW... Client review .... Insomnia and anxiety - resolved rapidly with sleep therapy .
Call Stuart -07825 599340 for a free consultation to discuss how sleep therapy
can resolve your issues and return to peaceful sleep
Online Zoom appointments available NOW
stuart@hypnotherapy4freedom.com
https://hypnotherapy4freedom.com/hypnotherapy-services/hypnotherapy-for-sleep-disorders-insomnia

Thankyou for your commitment towards my anxiety and insomnia problems, I feel so relieved to have found Stuart , he helped me to learn about how to reduce panic attacks aswell as self development in training myself to cope with anxiety around sleeping, before I met him I really was struggling to cop...

Life Crisis CoachAs humans, we often go through hard times in our lives, the current situation around Covid has challeng...
21/03/2021

Life Crisis Coach
As humans, we often go through hard times in our lives, the current situation around Covid has challenged us all . We struggle with our relationships, with work, battle substance misuse, overcoming losses, and a thousand other things that can turn our lives upside down. When we are struggling with one area of our life it can impact all the areas. Everything in our life is connected.
Life Crisis coaching will help you get back on track with your life. To help you overcome the obstacles you are facing by arming you with the knowledge and skills to rebuild and heal. We all come across life’s challenges and often we are left without the ability to know where we need to go next. You can feel frustrated, hopeless, and trapped. If your usual skills are not working, and things are not getting better a life crisis coach can help.
Crisis coaching will help you create a path to move forward. I will help you build strategies to help you overcome the difficulties you are facing and provide you with the tools and skills to get back on the path of success and health.
Difference Between Crisis Coaching and Therapy
There is a lot of overlap between a life crisis coach and therapists but there also some key differences. Therapists are like mental health surgeons they run the ER and can complete emergency complex surgeries. Coaches have first aid kits and can provide rehabilitation exercises. Life coaching can aid in helping with more minor injuries or ones that are not completely debilitating or life-threatening. Individuals that are still able to move through life despite their injuries are perfect for coaching. Sometimes coaches and therapists can work in tandem providing you with comprehensive health and well-being plan.
Therapists often provide more long-term care that focuses on diagnoses or past trauma. Often therapy is focused on the past and uses analysis and introspective techniques to work through painful experiences. They work with the clients on problematic beliefs, behaviours, relationships and sometimes physical responses to help them create a more stable and happier future.
Life crisis coaches come and walk beside their clients, they provide them with information, brainstorm and examine potential decisions and directions. They provide their clients with the tools and space to clarify goals and identify obstacles to create an action plan to achieve their desired results. Coaching focuses on the present and works to create a better future for their clients. They are action-based and help their clients to take control of their lives and steer their ship towards their goals.
Life Crisis Coaches do not diagnose the clients they work with while a therapist determines the pathologies so they can be clinically treated. Therapists will help to examine the past to explain the present while life coaches identify the problems areas so clients can work to modify them. A therapist focuses on “why” certain behaviours occur while a coach works on “how” they can move towards certain goals. Both coaches and therapists can be key to your health and well-being.
The biggest life crisis
What is considered a life crisis? Many different forms, events and experiences can result in a life crisis. Each person is also different in how an event can impact them which can determine if it is a crisis or not. We may experience a bunch of smaller ones that pile up resulting in overwhelm and an inability to cope or we may have a big life crisis that has the same effect. We are all influenced differently, and we need people to help us get through them.
There are several areas of our life that a crisis can occur, in our relationships with friends, family and our partner, business, and mental and physical health. Together, we will break these different life crises’ down and move you forward and through the other side
April 2021- New Introductory Online Programme 50% off promotion - 4 sessions - 1 month support booked in advance and completed in April - limited to 5 clients ....£395.00
Call Stuart - 07825 599340 - to discuss and book your place NOW,
stuart@stuartdowning.co.uk
www.stuartdowning.co.uk

08/03/2021

Once regarded as a cheap stage trick, hypnotism is proven to be a powerful medical treatment – and now it’s available on the NHS. Roger Dobson reports
There’s no magic, no swinging pendulums or swaying watches, and no one is counting backwards as they slump into unconsciousness. This is medical rather than stage or movie hypnotism, and it is increasingly being used to treat the symptoms of diseases and conditions as diverse as asthma, cystic fibrosis, snoring, migraines and warts.
It’s been used to allow surgery and dental work without anaesthesia, and for pain-free childbirth without medication. And new evidence from the UK’s first and only NHS centre offering hypnotherapy shows that it’s highly effective in treating some types of chest pain as well as irritable bowel syndrome.
New research from America has also found that more than half the people who used hypnotherapy to give up smoking were able to kick the habit, while researchers in France have successfully used the therapy to lower blood pressure.
Hypnosis has been used for centuries to treat diverse ills, but it went into relative decline with the rise of modern medicine, and in the last 200 years it’s been more associated with stage magicians and movie villains than medicine.
Film-makers take a lot of blame for damaging the image of hypnotism: “When a hypnotist appears on screen, expect evil. If his induction features magnetic hand passes, he’s probably about to compel someone to commit a crime. If he hypnotises with an intense stare, his intent is likelier seduction,” says Dr Deirdre Barrett of Harvard Medical School, who has studied more than 200 films about hypnotism.
At the University Hospital of South Manchester, Professor Peter Whorwell, a gastroenterologist who heads the only NHS-funded hypnotherapy centre in Britain, which has been pioneering the therapy as a treatment of irritable bowel syndrome, agrees. “One of the problems is the name,” he says. “If we started off again with a name like neuromodulation, for example, it would be more readily accepted. The name hypnotism has so much baggage attached. Cognitive behavioural therapy is now reasonably well accepted, and so, too, is psychotherapy, but of the three, I would say hypnotism is potentially the most powerful. It is becoming a treatment of choice for IBS.
“When I am dead and gone, people are going to suddenly realise that hypnotism is an incredibly powerful tool and question why it has been ignored for so long.”
Just how it works is not clear, and some critics suggest it’s simply a way of relaxing. But practitioners say there’s more to it, and that under hypnosis the patient can concentrate intensely on a specific thought, memory, feeling or sensation while blocking out distractions.
“The first thing you have to do is get past the myths and misconceptions about clinical hypnosis,” says Dr Carol Ginandes who led a study into its use for anxiety at Harvard Medical School. “It’s not used for entertainment. There are no Svengali-like figures in power-dominant relationships. It’s not a sleep state or something that someone can make you do. It’s a state of heightened, focused attention that we can all shift into very naturally.”
In a report in the Harvard Magazine, she explains how it has an effect: “We don’t yet understand the mechanisms by which these suggestions are transplanted by the mind into the language of the body, but let’s say someone is a smoker. When he’s in a hypnotic state, I could suggest that he’s going to find himself craving ci******es less and less over a period of time. If he’s ready to quit, that suggestion will be planted at a deep level in his mind, like seeds planted beneath the soil rather than scattered over the top, helping him tap into some useful physical and psychological resources.”
Smoking
In a study at the Scott and White Memorial Hospital in Texas, smokers were given eight sessions of therapy over two months, and told to quit smoking one week after beginning the course of treatment.
Carbon-monoxide concentration tests were carried out on the patients to see whether they had smoked after treatment, and results showed that by the end of treatment 40 per cent had given up. At a follow-up 12 weeks later, 60 per cent had quit.
Dental
Hypnotherapy is increasingly being used in a number of areas of dentistry, including dental phobia, teeth-grinding and extractions and fillings. It has also been used for dental surgery that is usually done under local or general anaesthetic.
In one reported case, a patient in Scotland has also had a tooth implant, which involved putting a titanium rod into her jaw. In her case, hypnosis was used to alter the sensation in the areas where surgery was taking place. She was asked to imagine a dial where zero meant no pain.
Chest pains
Up to one-third of patients who have angina-like chest pain are found to have normal coronary arteries, but many continue to suffer painful symptoms despite no evidence of heart disease. Non-cardiac chest pain is a problem because there is little or no treatment.
In a new NHS-funded trial at Manchester, 28 patients were given 12 sessions of hypnotherapy or a placebo treatment. After being hypnotised, patients were told to focus on the chest, and given repetitive suggestions about reducing pain. Patients were also given a tape of a session and encouraged to practise at home. Results show that of those who had the therapy, eight out of 10 had an all-round improvement in symptoms.
Wound healing
Researchers at Harvard Medical School have shown that broken bones and surgical wounds heal faster in patients who have hypnotherapy. Six weeks after breaking their ankles, patients being treated with hypnotherapy were three weeks ahead in their healing schedule than those who were just put in plaster.
In a second study, the researchers had similar results with surgical wounds. Before surgery, suggestions were made under therapy on pain and anxiety, and on decreased inflammation, reduced scar tissue, and accelerated wound-healing. Results show the women who had the therapy healed significantly faster.
Irritable bowel syndrome
One of the most common gastrointestinal disorders, with research showing that between five and 20 per cent of us suffer at some time. Its main symptoms include abdominal pain, diarrhoea or constipation. The exact cause is not known, but in some people changes in the balance of bacteria that line the gut are thought to be involved, as well as inflammation. Existing treatment for the condition can be only moderately effective.
Research at the University Hospital of South Manchester, where the first trial of hypnotherapy for the condition was carried out, shows that the majority of sufferers can benefit. “We have found that IBS patients treated with hypnotherapy remain well in the long term, with dramatically reduced medication needs,” say the researchers.
Cystic fibrosis
According to a University of Michigan report, hypnotherapy can reduce symptoms of cough, shortness of breath, anxiety and other symptoms of cystic fibrosis.
A study at the Robert C Schwartz Cystic Fibrosis Center at the State University of New York also shows that self-hypnosis can be highly effective. “Many of the patients used hypnosis for more than one purpose, including relaxation (61 per cent of patients), relief of pain associated with medical procedures (31 per cent), headache relief (16 per cent), changing the taste of medications to make the flavour more palatable (10 per cent), and control of other symptoms associated with CF (18 per cent). The patients successfully utilised self-hypnosis 86 per cent of the time.”
Childbirth
Research at the Women’s and Children’s Hospital in Adelaide, where hypnosis is used for women in labour, shows it is highly effective. Women who had the therapy, which was given after 37 weeks gestation, used fewer epidurals – 36 per cent compared with 53 per cent in other women. A second study showed that women taught self-hypnosis reduced their need for analgesia by half, epidurals by 70 per cent, and were more than twice as likely to be satisfied with their pain management in labour compared with other women.
Snoring
According to Harley Street psychiatrist Dr Tom Kraft, snoring can be treated with hypnotherapy by suggesting under hypnosis that the sufferer turns on his side every time he begins to snore.
“I have reported on the case of a 53-year-old man who came to see me after his snoring led to his wife throwing him out of the bedroom,” he says. “After I treated him, his snoring went, and he was allowed back in the bedroom, for which he was eternally grateful. After 10 sessions, the patient no longer snored, and when he was followed up later the improvements had been maintained.”
What is hypnotism?
What hypnotism doesn’t do is put people to sleep, or make them lose control, or do things against their will. “Many see it as the mind being taken over by the hypnotist and loss of control, which is completely erroneous,” says Professor Peter Whorwell at the University Hospital of South Manchester. “As a consequence of this, the whole subject is surrounded by a cloud of mystery.”
In hypnotherapy, patients are helped by the therapist to reach what’s described as a relaxed state of consciousness, like being absorbed in a good book. Therapists may start by describing images that create a sense of security and well-being. They may then suggest ways of achieving specific goals, such as getting rid of phobias.
Just how it works is not clear. Practitioners say the patient can concentrate intensely on a specific thought, memory, feeling or sensation while blocking out distractions.

03/01/2021

ANTHONY HOPKINS
′′ Let go the people who are not prepared to love you. This is the hardest thing you will have to do in your life and it will also be the most important thing. Stop having hard conversations with people who don't want to change.
Stop showing up for people who are not interested in your presence. I know your gut is to do everything to earn the appreciation of those around you, but it's a boost that steals your time, energy, mental and physical health.

When you begin to fight for a life with joy, interest and commitment, not everyone will be ready to follow you in this place. This doesn't mean you need to change what you are, it means you should let go the people who aren't ready to accompany you.

If you are excluded, insulted, forgotten or ignored by the people you give your time to, you don't do a favor by continuing to offer your energy and your life. The truth is you are not for everyone and not everyone is for you.

That's what makes it so special when you find people you have friendship or love with. You will know how precious it is because you experienced what is not.

The more time you spend trying to make you love for someone you can't, the more time you spend depriving yourself of the possibility of this connection with someone else.

There are billions of people on this planet and many of them will meet you, at your level of interest and commitment.
The more you stay involved with people who use you as a pillow, a background option or a therapist for emotional healing, the longer you walk away from the community you want.

Maybe if you stop showing up, you won't be wanted. Maybe if you stop trying, the relationship will end. Maybe if you stop texting your phone will stay dark for weeks
That doesn't mean you ruined the relationship, it means the only thing holding back was the energy only you gave to keep it.

This is not love, it's attachment. It's wanting to give a chance to those who don't deserve it You deserve a lot, there are people who shouldn't be in your life, you'll realize.

The most valuable thing you have in your life is your time and energy as both are limited. When you give your time and energy, you define your existence.

When you realize this you begin to understand why you are so anxious when you spend time with people, in activities, places or situations that don't suit you and shouldn't be around you, you get stolen in energy.

You will begin to realize that the most important thing you can do for yourself and everyone around you is to protect your energy more viciously than anything else.
Make your life a safe haven, in which only ′′ compatible ′′ people are allowed with you.

You are not responsible for saving anyone You are not responsible for convincing them to improve. It's not your work to exist for people and give your life to them!

Because if you feel bad, if you feel obligated, you will be the root of all your problems by your insistence, fearing that you will not be returned the favours you have given. It is your only obligation to realize that you are the master of your destiny and accept the love you think you deserve.

Decide that you deserve true friendship, commitment." true and complete love with healthy and prosperous people. Then wait and see how much everything starts to change and it will change, that's for sure, with positive people and good energy, don't waste time with people who aren't worth it, change will give you the love, the esteem, happiness and the protection you deserve.

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Cottage Therapy , New Street , Kenilworth
Kenilworth
CV81RR

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Relationship Therapy

Relationships are the testing ground , the ultimate proof of our ability to love ourselves.The bright and sometimes harsh searchlight of love will bring to the surface anything in ourselves that we have not loved . That is why relationships afford the greatest opportunities for us to learn to stay centered in our love for ourselves.Only by loving ourselves, can we really love others . Until you learn to love yourself, you will always be demanding from others what you have not given yourself.Love then becomes need , not a celebration . In every human being resides the needs for closeness and independence.We have deep urges to merge with another person,and we have equally strong urges to develop ourselves completely as separate beings.Ideally we would surrender ourselves fully to union with others at the same time that we explore and express our own full potential.Often it is not so easy , many of us are blocked in one or the other of the two dimensions,sometimes both.We may not allow ourselves to get close,but we may not allow our selves to be independent, either . We end up locking ourselves in a intermediary zone, a psychological purgatory , neither in union or autonomous. Often closeness in a relationship will bring fear to the surface and the affected partner attempts to control the relationship to keep from being abandoned.Another trait used is invalidation, if the partner is wrong or invalidated , abandonment will not seem such an issue but will reinforce beliefs and insecurities. Learning to love yourself , in the passion and friction of close relationships

All relationships have their ups and downs. Relationship therapy is all about creating a healthier new relationship with yourself so that you can create that healthier relationship with your partner. You can discover why you fell in love with your partner, and what lies underneath your frustrations, disagreements, communication struggles, resentment, not feeling loved, feeling alone in your marriage, loss of trust, and infidelity.

Many of the couples that I see have loving and passionate relationships – but they want more. Relationship therapy helps couples — married or not — recognise and resolve conflicts and improve their relationships.

Through relationship therapy, you can make thoughtful decisions about rebuilding your relationship or, in some cases, going your separate ways.