11/04/2026
It can feel deeply uncomfortable when adult children speak about childhood wounds. It’s easy to hear it as criticism, even when that’s not the intention.
Most of us did the best we could with the tools, pressures, and awareness we had.
And often, those children are now parents themselves, navigating their own version of “doing their best.”
There’s room here for compassion on both sides.
—
• Listen without rushing to defend, it helps keep the door open
• Focus on how it felt for them, not whether every detail is accurate
• Remember the difference in roles, they were the child, you were the adult
• Allow both perspectives to exist without needing to decide who’s right
• Acknowledge their feelings before sharing your own
• Avoid comparisons, their experience is their own
• Be willing to reflect, gently and honestly
• Accept that your best may not have met all of their needs
• Try to hear what’s underneath, often a wish to feel seen and understood
• Ask what they need from you now, rather than assuming
• Remember, listening and validating doesn’t erase the love you gave
