
05/09/2025
I’ve been giving it the billy big bo****ks for weeks now that I’m not at all emotional about Riley starting school and it’s no big deal etc etc….
Until I went to hang his uniform out last night ready for today and BAM… it just hit me out of nowhere, waves and waves of emotion just came over me from nowhere.
Grief is a funny thing and can creep up ok you when you’re least expecting it and launch itself into moments you wouldn’t even imagine it to, and this was one of those.
The emotion wasn’t sadness that my baby is off to school (although I still can’t quite fathom how he got here so fast) it’s the fact that with every day the time passes quicker (and it’s deffo speeding up) and every milestone that comes and goes,makes it all the more apparent that the ones that aren’t here, aren’t here.
The fact that mum, dad, Stan and the others I’ve lost aren’t here to see this day, remind me how long they’ve not been here for,and that it never gets easier, you just get better at holding it all in and being strong for these moments and these memories, cos ultimately they are happy ones.
But you’ll never quite hide the tinge of sadness that comes with them.
So yeah I’m pretty hard most of the time,and I’m 100% ready for Riley to be off to school showing the world how amazing he is,and yeah we are both ready for the routine to be back cos we’ve deffo had enough of being in each others pockets right now. Whilst all that is true, it turns out I have and will shed a tear or two today before he gets to those gates.
Who’d of thought it.
But I know for sure there’s a damn proud as punch pair of grandparents up there in heaven this morning looking down on him and watching him shine. ✨
Now excuse me while I go find a box of tissues and look forward to my silent post school run coffee!! 🥹😂