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Helping you reclaim your power, heal from abusive relationships, and reconnect with your true self. 🌿

09/01/2026

They need you quiet so they stay untouched. Your truth threatens their control , so they lie.

08/01/2026

But that’s also when the truth finally integrates and the body and mind become friends…
And when that happens, healing can start - and your life begins to move forward once again.

07/01/2026

They saw it.
They stayed comfortable.
That was the choice.

06/01/2026

Family togetherness gets praised like it’s always healthy. That’s not true…

Sometimes it’s held together by silence, and minimising by people who should have stepped in, and didn’t.

That’s how one person ends up stuffing down their pain
so others can stay comfortable, keep their position, and remain in control.

05/01/2026

Distance doesn’t come from being dramatic, or that you’re being too sensitive. It comes from being hurt and then dismissed.

03/01/2026

If abuse keeps happening, it’s rarely because no one sees it.
It’s usually because someone’s cruel, abusive behaviour is being fuelled by the people around them who choose to stay silent.

01/01/2026

We all react emotionally at times in ways we’re not proud of. That’s part of being human.

What matters is what happens after.

For healthy people, being triggered usually leads to reflection once they’ve regulated and can think more clearly. They take responsibility. They repair. And they make a genuine effort to do better next time.

For unhealthy patterns, the behaviour repeats over and over. It’s always justified, minimised, or blamed on someone else. There’s no repair and definitely no apologies… Often it’s just silence, withdrawal, and p**s poor excuses for their harmful behaviour.

So this is the question worth sitting with:

How do I behave when I’m uncomfortable, hurt, or triggered?
Does that behaviour match who I say I am?

As we head into 2026, I think that’s a question worth reflecting on…💛

31/12/2025

These are the ten things 2025 taught me.
And from those lessons, some of them brutal at times, these are the standards I am taking into 2026.

So here is what I have learned.

1. If my body says no, that is a no and I now listen.
It usually knows long before my head wants to admit it.

2. I do not stay where honesty is not welcome.
If telling the truth creates drama or explosions instead of understanding, that tells me everything I need to know. I am off.

3. Boundaries are not punishment.
They are how I take responsibility for myself.
That is self mastery.
It is simply what I am okay with and what I am not.
If someone kicks off, that is not my problem.

4. Clarity matters.
If something feels confusing or unsettling, I stop talking myself out of it.
Confusion is a warning and a massive red flag.

5. Anger is not the problem. Ignoring it is.
Anger tells me when something important has been crossed.
I listen to it and either change course or set stronger boundaries.

6. I pay attention to words and actions.
How people speak tells you a lot.
So does what they do.
And what they avoid.

7. My depth was never the issue.
I have been told I am too much.
What I see now is that depth exposes what people do not want to face.
That is not mine to manage.

8. I do not chase conversations that cannot move forward.
If someone will not reflect or take responsibility, I step back.
That can be sad.
And it can still be the right move.

9. I leave earlier now.
I do not wait for things to fall apart before I act.
Patterns are enough for me to move back.

10. I live my values.
I do not just talk about them.
My behaviour has to match who I say I am.
Even when that costs me.

So here is the question I am taking into 2026.
I will leave you with it.

Where do I already know the truth but have not acted on it yet?

Because knowing is not the hard part.
Acting on it is…

23/12/2025

Have a peaceful Christmas and New Year. Whether that means you take a rest, you distance, you stay quiet, or you’re doing things differently this year. Whatever you do, you don’t need to justify it.

You take care, and I’ll see you on the other side…Lorna ❤️

22/12/2025

When harm is repeated over years, and accountability never comes, and the apology never happens…you’re not dealing with their trauma anymore.

You’re dealing with a choice.

20/12/2025

Being disliked is often the cost of operating from integrity. And it is a price worth paying.
Because the alternative is much worse - justifying or enabling bad behaviour just to belong. That only keeps harm alive and it will costs you yourself. That’s not okay.

People who benefit from avoidance don’t attack the person with the bad behaviour, they attack the person who names it. It’s messed up on so many levels…
Because your truth destabilises the system that keeps the most toxic people comfortable, protected, and unchallenged.

So no, it’s not that they hate you,
even if that’s how they behave towards you.
The truth is - you’ve become a threat to lies they tell themselves, the unspoken rule of being silent, and the deception that the entire system depends on.

19/12/2025

Christmas doesn’t make unsafe people safe…

Address

30 John Finnie Street
Kilmarnock
KA11DD

Website

http://linktr.ee/lornadougan

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