Lisa Harris Counsellor & supervisor, Hull

10/09/2025

The sky was dark over the Hundred Acre Wood, and Pooh sat there, head hanging low, on a carpet of leaves. There were so many thoughts going around his head; thoughts that he knew he would never be properly able to articulate, however hard he tried. And, even if he did, what was the point of doing so? When nothing could change, not really.

Piglet sat next to him, right by his side.

Pooh waited for Piglet to ask him what was wrong, and then to try to solve all of his problems, which was what Well Meaning People so often did, even when these weren't problems that could be solved; even when just the very thought of someone trying to solve his problems made Pooh weary with exhaustion, like he wanted to climb into a dark, solitary cave until the rest of the world went away.

But Piglet stayed silent; and Pooh found that his quiet, constant companionship was in many ways far more soothing, far more reassuring, than any kind of words at all.

"If you want to talk," said Piglet eventually, "then I'm here to listen. But if you need to Just Be, then I'm here for that, too."

"Thank you," said Pooh, in a wobbly kind of voice; and a solitary tear snaked its way down his cheek.

"I just feel..." he tried, and then stopped. "Oh, I don't know what I feel, Piglet. Sad, and Angry, and Desperate, and Alone, and Frightened, and Broken, and Numb, and every other kind of emotion it's possible for one bear to feel. Just... what is the point of it all? Really? There is no point. I'm useless; and I think, you know, that the world might be a better place without me in it. Because I don't matter. I don't." And he looked out at the trees in the forest with eyes that were at once both empty, and wracked with pain.

"You matter to me," said Piglet, in a little voice. Then, more stridently: "You do, Pooh. Oh, you do. You matter to me; so very, very much."

***

In years to come, Pooh would often refer back to this moment in the forest as the moment when he first felt, perhaps, that he could go on. That he would go on. Not alone, and not without support. But to know that he mattered to somebody... that was a wonderful thing.

"But what about all of those people who don't have a Piglet to tell them that," he mused fretfully to Piglet, one evening. "What about them?"

Piglet nodded thoughtfully. "They need to hear that too," he agreed. "While it might not feel like it, particularly when you're all alone: you matter. Oh, you matter. You matter to so many different people. How you're feeling right now: this isn't forever, however much it might feel like it. There is help out there. There are people who will listen. Things can get better. I promise you.

"You matter. You matter so much."

www.samaritans.org

************************************

www.instagram.com/iknowineedtostoptalkingblog

www.twitter.com/IKINTST

06/09/2025

*The UK government is testing the Emergency Alerts system tomorrow Sunday 7 September 2025 at 3pm*

Your mobile phone or tablet will vibrate and make a loud siren-like sound, even if it’s set on silent. The alert message will confirm this is a test and that you do not need to take any further action.

Regular testing ensures the system is functioning correctly, should it need to be used in a life-threatening emergency. Find out more at www.gov.uk/alerts

You can opt out of the Emergency Alerts, including the national test, but you should keep them switched on for your own safety.

Emergency Alerts will warn you via your mobile or tablet if there's a life-threatening emergency nearby. Only the government and the emergency services are able to send them.

Your mobile phone or tablet may get an emergency alert if there’s a danger to life nearby. Alerts tell you what to do to stay safe.

05/09/2025

"As a therapist, I made this guide because this is one of the most common patterns I see. An argument starts about something small like forgetting a plan, not checking in, cancelling last minute but underneath it, someone’s carrying the emotional weight of the relationship. Most people aren’t fighting about what happened. They’re fighting about what it meant. And unless that part gets named and understood, the same fight keeps coming back".

Image and word credit to
Nadia Addesi

29/08/2025

This is a shout out to teachers and teaching staff.

I'm aware teachers have "all the school holidays" the truth is they also probably spend more hours outside school hours planning, preparing and report writing than you can imagine.

I'd like any teachers or teaching assistants reading this to remember what a significant part of a child's emotional development you are.

I'm going to say that again.

You are a significant part of children's emotional development.

I've listened to many people as adults who have looked back and realised how important a particular teacher was in raising their self esteem, self confidence, self belief, listening to them, encouraging them, showing kindness or believing them when it mattered.
I don't remember one who said, I had this great teacher who taught me algebra or comprehension (although I don't doubt there was).

So if your child is preparing for school, somewhere nearby their teachers are planning lessons, writing your child's name into registers, looking at safeguarding plans and more, while you're on Facebook.

While we are doing, not much, online, their team of teaching staff are investing in their prosperity, future, literacy, safety and emotional development, probably in their "free time" in the "6 weeks holiday".

So, from one who knows, understands and appreciates the true value of what you are doing, on behalf of the children and young people who will look back in years to come as adults and remember in the middle of whatever "life" was happening to them how you made them FEEL and how you listened...
..thank you ☺ 🙏

29/08/2025

24/07/2025

23 years ago today I arrived in East Yorkshire, utterly broken, with very very little to my name, only intending to be passing through until I found somewhere to settle.
I was in my mid 20's.

How very different my life is now, although there are different challenges.

I have my own home, a career, a business I love and a faith I wouldn't be without. All of which came after 2002.

In 2002 life was very painful and so very difficult, I had lost everything I loved and knew. Injustice stung daily to the core of me. I wasn't sure I could cope with life now or even if I wanted it anymore. If you know how this feels, you know. If you don't, I hope you never will.

Depression, anxiety and pain were my familar friends for more years than I care to recall. Tears and loneliness were a daily thing over and over, and over.

I can say I lived through it, it took years, I'm still living through it, because life happens, and I've still survived, I've achieved, I've created and I've held on by the smallest thread on many occasions over the years and at times, I still do.

You don't go through such difficult times without long term impact on your body and mind. That's a real thing.

It can be done, I've learned.

If you're struggling and all is not good, remember this, it will pass, it does pass. Like a kidney stone, but it does pass.

Yes, it's hard.
Yes, you have to choose to find a way against the odds, every single day.
Yes, you have to show up.
Yes, it's really not fair.
Yes, it can be done.

Yes, one day life will be different.

That's when you start to be the change you can see the world needs because you know what the alternative is and what it feels like, that's when you find your purpose. Or, maybe, it finds you. It found me.

That's when you find out who you are, what you can be and what's important in life. I did.

That's when you start to find out what you can do rather than hold on to the sadness about what you can't. That's what I learned to do.

To anyone who has ever dared to say single parents have it easy, I invite you to live it for years and years with little support or money and see how you get on.

To anyone who says I can't do this any more, just keep breathing and know one day it will be different. It will. I promise it will. Keep going.

To anyone who thinks I'm "lucky" to have what I have today.
F**k you.

Luck has nothing to do with it. I've grafted, sustained, lost and sacrificed more than you will ever, ever, know or understand.

I still fight daily battles in my head.
I still sometimes think I don't know if I can do this, or if I want to. And yet, somehow, I do.

I'm still on my journey, the direction I'm going consistently turns. With no idea where I'm going really but trying and often failing to follow my faith, and be a kind and fair person as I go.

I am still a Geordie in my heart and to my core, who is grateful East Yorkshire has held me as I heal and offered me opportunities I didn't know I was looking for.

Today, in 2025 I'll be 50 soon.
I've been a therapist 18 years, a clinical supervisor for ten years and am now a specialist certified Traumatologist in PTSD & cPTSD.
Make no mistake. Rock bottom in 2002 was indeed the foundation on which I decided I had to rebuild my life.
And I have. I still am.

I was working today when I noticed yellow leaves on the trees outside my window, in July? Surely not.
About an hour later, I saw one blow off in the gentle wind and float slowly to the the floor. I went to collect it.

This is the leaf.

Someone reminded me today, each season has wonderful things about it, we just need to move with the season.
They had no idea how valuable and profound those words are for me, particularly today.

So here I am.
Still moving as best I know how with the seasons that come and go, that catch me off guard, leave me in disbelief ... Or bring me joy.
The winter wind that hurts my bones and the summer sun that warms my face. The spring buds that remind me new is coming or the autumn leaves that remind me there's a time for everything to come and for everything to go.

23 years on, it seems I might be staying here in Yorkshire a bit longer.
Who knew.

The me in 2002 certainly didn't 🙏

https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/counsellors/lisa-harris

12/05/2025

"Brothers, sisters…
I speak to you, especially to those who no longer believe, no longer hope, no longer pray, because they think God has left.

To those who are fed up with scandals, with misused power, with the silence of a Church that sometimes seems more like a palace than a home.

I, too, was angry with God.
I, too, saw good people die, children suffer, grandparents cry without medicine.
And yes… there were days when I prayed and only felt an echo.

But then I discovered something:
God doesn't shout. God whispers.
And sometimes He whispers from the mud, from pain, from a grandmother who feeds you without having anything.

I don't come to offer you perfect faith.
I come to tell you that faith is a walk with stones, puddles, and unexpected hugs.

I'm not asking you to believe in everything.
I'm asking you not to close the door. Give a chance to the God who waits for you without judgment.

I'm just a priest who saw God in the smile of a woman who lost her son... and yet she cooked for others.

That changed me.

So if you're broken, if you don't believe, if you're tired of the lies...
come anyway. With your anger, your doubt, your dirty backpack.
No one here will ask you for a VIP card.

Because this Church, as long as I breathe, will be a home for the homeless, and a rest for the weary.

God doesn't need soldiers.
He needs brothers.

And you, yes, you...
are one of them."

This quote has been widely circulated over the last few days and been attributed to Robert Prevost (Leo XIV) as pictured.
This cannot be evidenced as it isn't showing as an original source elsewhere.

That said.
I am not Catholic, but I do have Christian faith.

I wanted to share this (wrongly attributed quote!) as it really spoke to me, and I can see it has spoken to thousands of others, going by how often it is shared.
I see it as a beautifully put, expression of what being a true Christian is and how a Church could helpfully behave and what to hold at its centre.

Rarely do we get a burning bush like Moses did, more often we get a whisper.
Yes, humans abuse power, as do institutions.
Yes, bad things happen to good people.
Yes, faith is not an easy journey.

A healthy church and therefore healthy Christians within it, will welcome a conversation with a person who brings anger and doubt and still be a place of rest for the weary.

It is not about fighting or conflict, it is about being a brother, as in a person along side, in time of need. In seeing beyond the presenting pain or behaviour, and remembering the teachings of the Christian faith. To love your neighbour as yourself.
Several times in the bible, both Old and New Testament this is written.
The as yourself bit is often forgotten I think, however that is a different conversation.

Everyone has some kind of faith or spirituality within them, although we may not call it such, it may be expressed as core values in the way we choose to live.

It may be helpful to reflect on what this quote says to you or what meaning it has for you, as thousands of others have over recent days.

09/05/2025

"Today was a Difficult Day," said Pooh.
There was a pause.
"Do you want to talk about it?" asked Piglet.
"No," said Pooh after a bit. "No, I don't think I do."
"That's okay," said Piglet, and he came and sat beside his friend.
"What are you doing?" asked Pooh.
"Nothing, really," said Piglet. "Only, I know what Difficult Days are like. I quite often don't feel like talking about it on my Difficult Days either.
"But goodness," continued Piglet, "Difficult Days are so much easier when you know you've got someone there for you. And I'll always be here for you, Pooh."
And as Pooh sat there, working through in his head his Difficult Day, while the solid, reliable Piglet sat next to him quietly, swinging his little legs...he thought that his best friend had never been more right."
A.A. Milne

When we work as therapists our work is confidential. This means we don't get to talk to those around us - our family, friends or partners about our working day.

Instead, we have supervision. Our supervisors are an essential part of our support network. We may have 1-2-1, group or peer supervision, or a combination of all of them. We may have consultant supervisors for specific issues or specialist ways of working.

As a client you may not realise just how much work, care and thought your therapist puts in to your time together yet still endeavours to make it seem effortless for you to be present with them. You may not realise there's probably a whole team behind the scenes who don't know exactly who you are, yet all have your best interests at heart and are supporting your therapist to be the best for you, and to look after themselves within that process.

You, and your therapist, are being supported, encouraged, guided, as well as cheered on and when appropriate, your wins, however small are celebrated too.

All this happens without you probably being aware of it.

I've had, and have wonderful supervisors. I have a long term 1-2-1, I have the tremendous trio ( we're all experienced supervisors), peer supervision and specialist consultant supervisors. Most weeks I have a few hours of supervision one way or another.
This ensures all my clients and supervisees are held professionally and ethically, and I too am supported as well as accountable.

Being a supervisor is a part of my work I really love. To support, encourage and guide supervisees through their own practice, job role or training and see them grow in confidence, be successful in the way they choose and thrive is wonderful.
I appreciate and value offering consultancy for specific work or development too.

I have one place becoming available for regular 1-2-1 supervision on a Thursday morning, from the end of August.
If you think we may be a good fit and you'd like to explore this further we could arrange a 90 minute initial consultation before committing to this regular work together.
This gives plenty time to settle in, ask and answer questions and for us to get a good feel of what you need and what I can offer.

You can read more here if you'd like to
https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/counsellors/lisa-harris

Click the supervision button or email me directly to lhcounselling@live.co.uk

As Piglet said, "Difficult days are so much easier when you know you've got someone there for you".

08/05/2025

The smallest gate in the world?!
A metaphor.
This popped up in my photo memories, reminding me of a lovely day.
What I see in it today is slightly different to what I did then.
Today I'm pondering ...
Even when there's a small gate, we can still pass through and there can be joy, adventures and happiness at the other side.
Today it speaks to me of challenging times, and of the reminder many have trodden a path before us and many will come after. The way forward has been made easier by them, if we realise it or not.
All, pass through.

We never really know what's beyond a tight squeeze in life, but I do know diamonds are formed under extreme pressure.
And, there's always a way.
Take a breath.
Look for the small gate 🙏

03/05/2025

Over used phrases.
A real frustration of mine is when people with little to no professional training or experience use clinical terms inaccurately.

Why?
Because, I feel, it minimises the actual experience of people who are deeply distressed by these genuine experiences and symptoms.
See also, "oh the weather is a bit bi-polar isn't it" (because it was sunny this morning and now it's raining), and "I'm so depressed" (because you randomly feel a bit flat today).
Please, stop it.

I have been further frustrated by a recent TV programme that referred to someone "probably having PTSD" just days after experiencing something distressing.
This showed a complete lack of understanding of what PTSD actually is, how and when it is assessed or diagnosed.
Research properly.

Please, understand it is unfair and inaccurate to use genuine clinical terms as throw away comments.
It is often silently deeply hurtful to people who are experiencing the significant difficulties you are (inaccurately) describing.
It's invalidating.
This can sometimes lead to people further internalising their difficulties and can make it harder for them to ask for help.

This in turn can make therapists who are well trained, experienced and very passionate about their work, a bit ranty on a soap boxy ...

Sincerely,
Lisa

(A specialist trauma therapist and clinical supervisor with almost 20 years experience).

*Dismounts Facebook soapbox*

31/03/2025

Dear Diana Johnson MP

I am writing to you as a professional practitioner accredited by the National Counselling & Psychotherapy Society (NCPS) and a member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP), in response to recent comments made by Secretary of State for Health and Social Care, Wes Streeting MP, and Minister of State for Care, Stephen Kinnock MP.

Their statements about an alleged 'overdiagnosis' of mental health conditions, and particularly Minister Kinnock's inaccurate remarks regarding an 'unregulated private sector', have raised significant concerns within our profession.

Firstly, I would like to emphasise that counsellors & psychotherapists, such as myself, do not diagnose mental health conditions. Diagnosis is not part of our training or professional practice. Instead, we provide relational, therapeutic support to people, many of whom are experiencing emotional distress caused by life events such as bereavement, trauma, financial difficulties, or relationship breakdowns, but also to people who are accessing therapy to develop resilience, deal with change, or simply know themselves better.

I have trained from level 2 through to level 7 (Post Graduate) in my profession, and have worked as a therapist for almost 20 years. I have a Diploma, two degrees, a Post Graduate Diploma and now specialise in trauma, particularly PTSD and Complex PTSD. I am trained to assess and treat trauma responses using a range of trauma treatment processes, yet am clear, I do not diagnose. A psychiatrist or clinical psychologist is trained to do that.

As a professional member of these membership bodies, I adhere to a strict Code of Ethics and professional standards, which are overseen by the Professional Standards Authority (PSA). My high-quality training, regular supervision, and continuous professional development ensure I provide safe, ethical, and effective support.

At a time when NHS mental health services are severely overstretched, with long waiting lists and recovery rates hovering around only 50%, private counsellors & psychotherapists are providing essential support for people unable to access adequate public sector help. Many clients seeking my services have already experienced NHS Talking Therapies and have come to me for more appropriate support. I spent years working for single point of access and then later IAPT in the NHS as a self employed therapist, I left as I was trained to offer more than my job (and the funding) allowed me to be with the clients. I now work exclusively privately and receive a fair rate for my specialist services, yet no job security of employment, pension or other benefit of being employed by the NHS or similar.

Minister Kinnock's comments unfairly tarnish qualified, ethical practitioners and create further stigma, discouraging vulnerable people from seeking the help that they need. Government efforts could instead focus on genuinely unregulated areas, such as misinformation spread online by people who are completely unqualified. The Online Safety Act, for example, offers a legislative framework through which large technology companies could be held accountable for the spread of harmful mental health misinformation. Additionally, funding loopholes in adult education, particularly around asynchronous, distance-learning counselling courses that claim to allow people to ‘train as a counsellor in a weekend’, present further areas for scrutiny should the Government wish to improve public safety.

In addition to this, I would highlight I encounter people who believe they have been diagnosed because of throw away words used by professionals they encounter, or people they believe are professionals. When vulnerable people hear words used like "You're clearly depressed" or "You have trauma" they stay with them and and they are absorbed as fact. More often people have self diagnosed from social media content, and often these accounts are by people who are not professionally trained and who are creating the belief that self diagnosis in every case is as valid as an experienced professional's assessments and their structured treatment plans when these are appropriate.
What this misses is that if you are walking around with a hammer, everything looks like a nail. I am trained and experienced to noticed the finer detail differences between, for example, BPD, C-PTSD, PTSD, ADHD, depression and natural human responses in difficult situations. Often, I see mis-diagnosis from the spike in 'experts' who do not have the depth of wider training and understanding and instead are focusing on symptoms fitting the description in front of them. This means people are not being treated appropriately or offered the correct support. I have many examples in my own practice of people who have been 'told' they are neurodivergent, or have BPD when in fact they are experiencing complex trauma responses, and vice versa. The NHS is not set up to assess this at ground level, and IAPT is not set up to treat this.

I kindly urge you, as my MP, to raise these issues directly with Ministers Wes Streeting and Stephen Kinnock, ensuring they clearly differentiate between qualified counsellors & psychotherapists, and genuinely unregulated, harmful practices. Furthermore, I would ask for your support in promoting the extremely valuable role professional counsellors & psychotherapists play within the wider mental health sector.

Thank you very much for your time and consideration. You have been my MP for years and I have always appreciated how active and vocal you are for your constituents and on wider important issues. I would appreciate your support on this issue and look forward to hearing from you.

Yours sincerely,
Lisa Harris (She / Her)

BA (Hons) FD Dip C MBACP MNCPS (Acc.)
Psychotherapist, clinical & consultant supervisor,
Certified Traumatologist : Pg Dip in Traumatology and PTSD (Course Accredited by NCIP)

Tel : 07866061165
Further information:
http://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/counsellors/lisa-harris
http://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/supervisor_32853.html
Social Media:
https://www.facebook.com/lisaharriscounsellor

Online Supervision, Consultancy and Therapy appointments:
Tuesdays, Wednesdays & Thursdays.

**This is an email I have sent to Diana Johnson and I will add her response when I hear I it.
You are welcome to share this or/and tag your own MP.

Some of the above content has been taken from email suggestions from the National Counselling & Psychotherapy Society

31/03/2025

Share your thoughts in the comments. Here's a couple of mine ⬇️

I'd tell younger me to stop buying house plants because I'll always inadvertently kill them by forgetting to look after them, and feel sad about it every time!

I'd also tell her that playing the long game really does work out in the end, trust the process, she's doing so much better than she realises.

What would you say?
Let's learn from each other.