https://www.raisingwithinstinct.co.uk/

Raising With Instinct, Kingston upon Thames (2026)

05/10/2023

Reminiscing ✨

03/10/2023

Holding babies and children is instinctive - they are born to be held close - we’re carrying mammals, and in doing so we facilitate that child to feel secure and confident to explore their new world. My journey as a mother has been defined by this belief - babywearing has taught me to take up space, to be defiant and to boldly take the path I want instead of the path that is expected.

And now, babywearing is a huge part of my role as a postnatal doula. It’s provides me free hands to cook a nourishing meal for the parents, gives them a moment to think, to breathe, to shower, to sleep. Baby feels safe and secure, with the help of a milky muslin folded against my chest. And I pass this passion onto my clients, showing them everything that babywearing can offer them and I am lucky enough to see them too taking up space, walking along side them as they boldly take that path that they instinctively know to follow.

And for those of you here for a list of the benefits:

~ aids in regulating their heart rate, temperature and breathing (especially if also skin to skin)
~ reduces infant distress and crying
~ improves chances of successful breastfeeding
~ encourages secure bonding between baby and caregiver
~ aids cognitive and physical development
~ supports perinatal mental health

29/08/2023

Life lately; Medicine Festival Edition ✨

I haven’t taken this £10 hat off since we returned; and I take my shoes off every chance I get. I don’t have the words to describe everything this weekend did for me. Thank you to my beautiful soul sister for booking my tickets so I didn’t have to say yes, and for holding me as I discovered so much about myself. New thoughts, new experiences, new emotions, new ink. And next year is already planned!

11/07/2023

A reminder for you on 👀

The messy uncertainty of the postnatal period is not solved through buying material goods. I know that’s what society tells us these days. And it may help you feel more in control in the lead up to your baby’s arrival, but when it comes around those well-researched big buys, those impulsive off-the-shelf purchases; the panicked Amazon orders -
they just won’t help.

Instead, let’s try to foster a willingness to surrender to the lack of control, whilst also spending as much time on preparation as possible, understanding what may be round the corner and building realistic expectations of your newborn and the fourth trimester, even if sometimes the truth of the messiness may feel uncomfortable.

Postpartum planning can revolutionise how parents experience the first few months of their baby’s life. Making a plan. Talking things through. Exploring different scenarios.

So, if you’re going to invest in something, invest in someone who can guide you. And hey, if you do need that bouncer when the time comes, next day delivery is forever an option!

07/07/2023

It took me two years to start feeling like 'me' after the birth of my daughter.

Not the old me. Not the future me I thought I needed to be. Just me. Just Charlotte.

If you feel the same; lost or confused or perhaps as though sometimes you're pretending in a role you don't understand then know that you're not alone.

Your matrescene is a beautiful, intense, tough and mostly unacknowledged time in your life. Lean into it. You won't always feel this way 🫶🏼

03/07/2023

June, thank you for the changing tide.

Shaking off months of darkness with a helping hand, celebrating the warm sunny days and long summer nights, savouring the simple moments 🫶🏼

30/06/2023

Weekends during your fourth trimester. Perhaps they’re welcomed longingly; your partner home from work, no early morning school runs or, if you’re lucky, other family and friends free to lend a hand.

But they can also bring the familiar pressure to please others. Visitors, pub lunches, walks in the park, entertaining the other kiddies, getting on top of housework. Grandparents, friends, you - everyone can add expectations into the mix.

So this is your reminder that if your weekend looks like this, that’s absolutely ok. Whether your baby is two weeks old or two years. But especially if you’re navigating those precious early months when rest, recovery and tuning into your intuition can make all the difference 🤍

29/06/2023

Let’s talk about crying 😩

Babies often cry because they’re hungry. Or perhaps they’re tired? Could they have wind? Maybe something is hurting them? Or to be held? No? Maybe to be put down instead?

We expect to be able to stop our baby crying. Others expect us to be able to stop our baby crying. Our mind flicks through ALL the different reasons they might be crying whilst we frantically offer different solutions. And when we figure it out, it feels great! We’ve solved the problem. We’ve taken away the emotional distress that we were feeling, and that our baby surely must’ve been experiencing too? We’ve achieved something! But when we can’t, we can feel overwhelming panic. It can be hard to hear, and it can feel like we are failing. Not many of us are used to supporting through emotions – we have been conditioned to solve and stop negative feelings. And our brain is designed to respond so acutely to our baby crying – we need to for their survival!

Let’s think about it. What about if baby is feeling discomfort? They don’t yet know how to move their body in a way that will help – yet by picking them up you’ve done that for them, and they just need to feel sad about it for a little longer? Or could they need to feel the heat of your chest, and hear the beat of your heart? And when their crying doesn’t stop you’re hardwired to try something else, but they just needed some more time?

My tip – move slower. Hold baby to you for a little longer. Rock for just a moment more. If you’re out and about, remove the expectations of others from your mind. We were all babies once. If you’re at home, do what you need. Airpods in, step outside if it helps. You’re doing an amazing job, and this is beautiful but it’s also hard 🫶🏼

27/06/2023

I’m back! And whilst I’ve been away, my little corner of the internet has gained a few new followers so, hello! You are SO welcome here, and I hope what I share helps you to flourish, grow or to simple survive the day 🌿

In the way of a quick intro, I am a birth and postnatal doula, hypnobirthing instructor and I have further qualifications in breastfeeding support and babywearing.

Birth, the postpartum and matrescence are my absolute passions - I want to help as many parents, mothers and birthers have the experiences that they envisage for themselves, with the support that every single person deserves.

I work one to one with clients before, during and after birth and have various online offerings for those moving through this hugely impactful phase of their life. And alongside all of that, I’m also so glad I get to share my musings with you. There’s a highlight above with all the details of the services I offer 👆🏻

Thank you for following and please always know you can drop me a message if you ever want or need.

Charlotte 🤍

15/05/2023

My partner has been my biggest support, and the dance we did together in my darkest days will always be our most beautiful; walking away when he sensed it was space I needed, running back to hold me when the space was too much. All whilst we parented Margot with more love than we could’ve ever imagined.

Darkest, most intense, most beautiful, toughest.
Partner, mother, sister, doula, friend.
It doesn’t matter why you do this dance or when. It doesn’t matter who your dance partner is. It matters that they’re there, and that you can.

Your postpartum is sacred. Mental wellbeing is sacred. You need to be held, and your mind and body must be respected. Perhaps you’ll feel this for two weeks. Maybe for four months. Or, you’ll still be in the thick of it three years in.

15/05/2023

My partner has been my biggest support, and the dance we did together in my darkest days will always be our most beautiful; walking away when he sensed it was space I needed, running back to hold me when the space was too much. All whilst we parented Margot with more love than we could’ve ever imagined.

Darkest, most intense, most beautiful, toughest.
Partner, mother, sister, doula, friend.
It doesn’t matter why you do this dance or when. It doesn’t matter who your dance partner is. It matters that they’re there, and that you can.

Your postpartum is sacred. Mental wellbeing is sacred. You need to be held, and your mind and body must be respected. Perhaps you’ll feel this for two weeks. Maybe for four months. Or, you’ll still be in the thick of it three years in.

14/05/2023

Sunday afternoon.
The slower pace of the weekend starts to pick up as a new week beckons. Toddlers are tired, parents are tired. The tank feels empty; you’ve given them everything.
Take a moment - unclench your jaw. Let your tongue rest lightly on the roof of your mouth. Take a long, slow breath and notice your shoulders drop.
You’ve got this 🫶🏼

Raising With Instinct

05/10/2023

03/10/2023

29/08/2023

11/07/2023

07/07/2023

03/07/2023

30/06/2023

29/06/2023

27/06/2023

15/05/2023

15/05/2023

14/05/2023

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