Healing from Hurt

03/07/2025

Some great suggestions here re after school for all children 🙏🏼

26/02/2025

Hugs 🫂 🤗

The average length of a hug between two people is 3 seconds. But the researchers have discovered something fantastic. When a hug lasts 20 seconds, there is a therapeutic effect on the body and mind. The reason is that a sincere embrace produces a hormone called "oxytocin", also known as the love hormone. This substance has many benefits in our physical and mental health, helps us, among other things, to relax, to feel safe and calm our fears and anxiety. This wonderful tranquilizer is offered free of charge every time we have a person in our arms, who cradled a child, who cherish a dog or a cat, that we are dancing with our partner, the closer we get to someone or simply hold the Shoulders of a friend.

A famous quote by psychotherapist Virginia Satir goes, “We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.” Whether those exact numbers have been scientifically proven remains to be seen, but there is a great deal of scientific evidence related to the importance of hugs and physical contact. Here are some reasons why we should hug::

1. STIMULATES OXYTOCIN

Oxytocin is a neurotransmitter that acts on the limbic system, the brain’s emotional centre, promoting feelings of contentment, reducing anxiety and stress, and even making mammals monogamous. It is the hormone responsible for us all being here today. You see this little gem is released during childbirth, making our mothers forget about all of the excruciating pain they endured expelling us from their bodies and making them want to still love and spend time with us. New research from the University of California suggests that it has a similarly civilising effect on human males, making them more affectionate and better at forming relationships and social bonding. And it dramatically increased the libido and sexual performance of test subjects. When we hug someone, oxytocin is released into our bodies by our pituitary gland, lowering both our heart rates and our cortisol levels. Cortisol is the hormone responsible for stress, high blood pressure, and heart disease.

2. CULTIVATES PATIENCE

Connections are fostered when people take the time to appreciate and acknowledge one another. A hug is one of the easiest ways to show appreciation and acknowledgement of another person. The world is a busy, hustle-bustle place and we’re constantly rushing to the next task. By slowing down and taking a moment to offer sincere hugs throughout the day, we’re benefiting ourselves, others, and cultivating better patience within ourselves.

3. PREVENTS DISEASE

Affection also has a direct response on the reduction of stress which prevents many diseases. The Touch Research Institute at the University of Miami School of Medicine says it has carried out more than 100 studies into touch and found evidence of significant effects, including faster growth in premature babies, reduced pain, decreased autoimmune disease symptoms, lowered glucose levels in children with diabetes, and improved immune systems in people with cancer.

4. STIMULATES THYMUS GLAND

Hugs strengthen the immune system. The gentle pressure on the sternum and the emotional charge this creates activates the Solar Plexus Chakra. This stimulates the thymus gland, which regulates and balances the body’s production of white blood cells, which keep you healthy and disease free.

5. COMMUNICATION WITHOUT SAYING A WORD

Almost 70 percent of communication is nonverbal. The interpretation of body language can be based on a single gesture and hugging is an excellent method of expressing yourself nonverbally to another human being or animal. Not only can they feel the love and care in your embrace, but they can actually be receptive enough to pay it forward to others based on your initiative alone.

6. SELF-ESTEEM

Hugging boosts self-esteem, especially in children. The tactile sense is all-important in infants. A baby recognizes its parents initially by touch. From the time we’re born our family’s touch shows us that we’re loved and special. The associations of self-worth and tactile sensations from our early years are still imbedded in our nervous system as adults. The cuddles we received from our Mom and Dad while growing up remain imprinted at a cellular level, and hugs remind us at a somatic level of that. Hugs, therefore, connect us to our ability to self love.

7. STIMULATES DOPAMINE

Everything everyone does involves protecting and triggering dopamine flow. Low dopamine levels play a role in the neurodegenerative disease Parkinson’s as well as mood disorders such as depression. Dopamine is responsible for giving us that feel-good feeling, and it’s also responsible for motivation! Hugs stimulate brains to release dopamine, the pleasure hormone. Dopamine sensors are the areas that many stimulating drugs such as co***ne and methamphetamine target. The presence of a certain kinds of dopamine receptors are also associated with sensation-seeking.

8. STIMULATES SEROTONIN

Reaching out and hugging releases endorphins and serotonin into the blood vessels and the released endorphins and serotonin cause pleasure and negate pain and sadness and decrease the chances of getting heart problems, helps fight excess weight and prolongs life. Even the cuddling of pets has a soothing effect that reduces the stress levels. Hugging for an extended time lifts one’s serotonin levels, elevating mood and creating happiness.

9. PARASYMPATHETIC BALANCE

Hugs balance out the nervous system. The skin contains a network of tiny, egg-shaped pressure centres called Pacinian corpuscles that can sense touch and which are in contact with the brain through the vagus nerve. The galvanic skin response of someone receiving and giving a hug shows a change in skin conductance. The effect in moisture and electricity in the skin suggests a more balanced state in the nervous system – parasympathetic.
Embrace, embrace with your heart

Art is by James. R Eads
Multidisciplinary Artist and illustrator

17/01/2025

Repost The In-Sync Village 💗
Credit: Unknown

15/01/2025

Engagement is most important 🤝

“Engagement” is a neurological state. When young children’s brains are highly engaged, i.e., they are processing information and ideas, accompanied by heightened emotion, they are learning more. Active play readily puts young children’s brains in that state.

Seek engagement and take the leap of faith that learning will follow. Let young children play. Step back and trust their brains to do what they do best: learn.

14/01/2025

**🌿 Understanding Our Kids: It’s Not About Choice 🌿**

Sometimes, we think our children are choosing to behave in challenging ways, but often, it’s not a choice at all. Kids don’t always have the skills to manage their big feelings, control impulses, or communicate their needs calmly. 💭

When they act out, it’s usually a signal that they're overwhelmed, frustrated, or simply lack the tools they need to cope. Gentle parenting recognizes that children aren't “choosing” to misbehave — they’re responding in the only ways they know how. 🧠💫

Instead of seeing these moments as defiance, we can view them as opportunities to teach and guide. By modeling patience and compassion, we help them build the skills they need to regulate their emotions and make better choices in the future.

So, the next time behavior feels challenging, let’s ask ourselves: “What does my child need to learn here?” rather than “Why are they acting like this?” 🤍

More information in my book
📖 Guidance from The Therapist Parent
Available on my website www.thetherapistparent.com and Amazon

25/12/2024

🎄Day Twenty-Five: Celebrating the Magic of Toys in Play Therapy ✨️

As our Advent Calendar comes to a close, we reflect on the incredible power of toys in play therapy. Each toy, whether simple or complex, holds the potential to unlock a child’s inner world, providing opportunities for self-expression, emotional healing and personal growth.

Through play, children build connections, explore difficult emotions and develop resilience, all while experiencing the joy and creativity that toys inspire.

Thank you for joining us on this journey of exploring how toys transform play therapy into a space of hope, healing and transformation. The magic of toys truly brings light to the therapeutic process.

®

24/12/2024

🎄Day Twenty-Four: Books 📚 📖

When children have specific fears or difficulties such as a fear of the dark or struggling to maintain friendships, books can give them solutions to their problems or improve their understanding.

Children are often unable to verbalise their feelings but can find similarities between themselves and characters in books. Reading stories that have similar themes to the problems they're experiencing can support them in gaining a greater understanding of how to solve problems or accept struggles they may be having.

They read the choices the characters make in the stories and are able to generalise these to their own lived experiences.

By Charles E.Schaefer & Donna Cangelosi - Essential play therapy techniques

23/12/2024

🎄Day Twenty-Three: Games with Rules 🃏🎴♣️

Games with rules are a useful tool in a play therapy relationship. Children are often familiar with games and this can sometimes enable them to engage with the sessions as they can play something they've played before.

Games like Uno and Jenga enable children to develop a relationship with their therapist, foster social, emotional and cognitive development, enhance their mood, develop mastery and experience healthy competition.

In these games, children are able to create their own rules, which is particularly necessary for children who have a fear of failure or who have low self-esteem and need to win. This winning is important for them to feel improvements in self-esteem and enables the therapist to recognise and acknowledge these feelings. Thus, the child becomes more self-aware. As the relationship develops and the child develops mastery over the games, they will begin to relinquish control and the need to win becomes less and less.

By Charles E.Schaefer & Donna Cangelosi - Essential play therapy techniques

22/12/2024

🎄Day Twenty-Two: Ribbons 🎀🎊💝

Using ribbons when dancing or moving within play therapy is a developmentally appropriate and enjoyable activity.

There's no fixed outcome, so it enables children to have fun, let down their defences and spend time expressing themselves non-verbally with their therapist.

Dancing and movement enables children to express themselves freely, creating reductions in anxious and depressive symptoms.

Children who experience hyperactivity can also expend energy and therefore, movement or dancing has a regulatory capacity.

By Charles E.Schaefer & Donna Cangelosi - Essential play therapy techniques

22/12/2024

🎄Day Twenty-One: Costumes 👒 ⛑️ 🎩 👖 🎽

Costumes allow children to try out new roles, mannerisms or behaviours. Children become whoever they want or need. They use these characters to make sense of the world or their experiences.

Dressing up means children can be someone else and disguise or embellish parts of themselves that they feel they need to.

They can develop greater self-awareness by using the costumes to become characters who they use to show aspects of their personalities that they may have repressed.

Costume play can enable children who are shy and lack the confidence to be more expressive in play therapy sessions. Certain characters can allow children to obtain mastery over situations by helping them to be less fearful.

By Charles E.Schaefer & Donna Cangelosi - Essential play therapy techniques

20/12/2024

🎄Day Twenty: Balloon Play 🎈 🎈

Balloons in play therapy can provide an element of catharsis for children when they need to release aggression or big, overwhelming feelings.

Bursting balloons in play can allow children who may be timid or fearful to release suppressed aggressive energy.

Children can choose how to pop the balloons, either by stamping or jumping, for example, to allow them the control over when the bang will happen.

Balloons can also be used to provide appropriate challenge for children when playing balloon tennis. This is a competitive game where the therapist and the child can work together or against one another to keep the balloon from falling to the floor. This game allows children to develop resilience about situations not happening how they expect.

By Charles E.Schaefer & Donna Cangelosi - Essential play therapy techniques

20/12/2024

🎄Day Nineteen: Worry Dolls 🪆

Originally made in Guatemala by the Mayans, Worry Dolls were used for those children who struggled getting to sleep as a result of anxious thoughts at bedtime.

However, they are now used in many ways, in play therapy sessions, including allowing a child a way to 'secretly' disclose their worrying thoughts and feelings without necessarily having to verbalise them. They can project the fear, emotion or anxiety onto the doll 'freeing' it from their mind.

By Charles E.Schaefer & Donna Cangelosi - Essential play therapy techniques