Bernadette Dean Counselling

Bernadette Dean Counselling Welcome, Are you struggling with anxiety, low self esteem, relationships? Feel free to PM me

A little insight into my world 24 years ago today, my partner and the dad to my children, Darren died.At the time, I tur...
24/04/2026

A little insight into my world
24 years ago today, my partner and the dad to my children, Darren died.
At the time, I turned to Cruse Bereavement Support, and it made such a difference to us . I felt heard, supported, and not so alone in our grief.

Now, I’m a Cruse Bereavement Support Worker myself.

It’s my way of giving back, helping my own healing, and keeping Darren’s memory alive through supporting others.
It also supports me in my counselling work, deepening my understanding of grief and how I hold space for others through it.
If you’ve experienced a bereavement, I’d love to know
What’s helped you in your grief?
How do you honour your loved one’s memory? 🤍

For years, I was told “you’ve got no rhythm” “you can’t dance.”Somewhere along the way, I stopped questioning it. I bel...
01/04/2026

For years, I was told “you’ve got no rhythm” “you can’t dance.”
Somewhere along the way, I stopped questioning it. I believed it.
It wasn’t a belief I chose, it was one that was given to me, and I absorbed it as truth.

However recently, I started dance classes & something is shifting.
The rhythm isn’t quite there yet but something more important is happening the belief that I can’t is fading.

I’m beginning to see that I was never incapable. I had simply lost confidence after carrying someone else’s words for too long.

Now as my confidence builds on the dance floor, I trust that the rhythm will come.

It’s made me reflect
Have you ever been told you can’t do something and taken it as truth?
Where did that belief come from?
And more importantly is it still true now?

In counselling, together we can gently explore the origins of these beliefs, question them, and begin to loosen their hold. Because so often, what we think is “who we are” is actually something we’ve been taught to believe. Beliefs can change!

Just like I’m learning in dance.I’m not incapable.
I’m learning. I’m growing. I’m finding my rhythm again.
And you can too!

There’s something powerful about emotional memory.Today, without planning it, I felt a strong pull to introduce myself a...
24/02/2026

There’s something powerful about emotional memory.
Today, without planning it, I felt a strong pull to introduce myself again, as I looked through my page I realised it’s exactly one year since I last did this.

We know from neuroscience that the body stores emotional experiences not just as thoughts, but as felt sensations, patterns, impulses. Dates, seasons, even light and temperature can act as implicit triggers. Sometimes we don’t consciously remember but our nervous system does.
Was it coincidence?

Was it because I’ve been quiet for a while?

Or did something in me register, “It’s time again”?

I’m curious, do you ever find yourself doing things unconsciously on the same dates each year? Reaching out, pulling back, feeling reflective, restless, tender?
Emotional memory is subtle. Sometimes it just nudges.
I’d love to know if you’ve noticed this in yourself emotionally or physically.

If you would like to explore this more I have availability to do this with you, I can be contacted via messenger, watts app or email
Bernadettedeancounselling@gmail.com
07587753795

As we move into the New Year, I’ve noticed something that feels hard to ignore.In just the last week, I’ve heard the wor...
31/12/2025

As we move into the New Year, I’ve noticed something that feels hard to ignore.
In just the last week, I’ve heard the word diet at least 10 times this is only in conversations with friends never mind adverts, social media. It’s everywhere.

For many people, this time of year brings a quiet (or not so-quiet) pressure
to shrink, to control, to “be good”, to conform to ideas about bodies, food, and worth.

Are you’re feeling worn down by diet culture?
Do you feel obliged to constantly justify what you eat, how you look, or why you don’t want to diet?

If part of you longs for a gentler relationship with your body
I wonder what it might be like to make friends with your body instead?

As an experienced therapist working with disordered eating, I support people to explore and untangle the messages they’ve inherited about food, body shape, and weight,often messages that were never chosen, yet deeply absorbed.

You don’t have to do this alone.
I have availability to be alongside you, at your pace, as you make sense of your relationship with food and your body, and move towards something more compassionate and sustainable that fits your believes .
If this resonates, you’re very welcome to get in touch.
There is no pressure to change, only space to understand yourself.

Call, text or watts app
07587753795
Email
Bernadettedeancounselling@gmail.com
Messenger via Facebook

As i was thinking about Grief week and the theme of Growing with Grief I thought it would be an opportunity to share To...
04/12/2025

As i was thinking about Grief week and the theme of Growing with Grief I thought it would be an opportunity to share

Tonkin’s Model of Grief which is one of the ways to explain how we can grow with loss.
It shows that grief doesn’t disappear, shrink, or fade away completely.
In fact the grief stays the same size.

What changes is us.

Over time, our life can slowly grow around the grief.
We build new experiences, new coping skills, new layers of understanding and meaning.
The grief is still there ,because the love is still there , but it becomes part of a bigger, fuller life rather than taking up all the space.

Some days it feels as big as ever.
Other days, we notice we have more room to breathe around it.
There’s no right timing. No straight line. No expectations.

It’s simply the gentle truth that
We don’t get over grief we grow around it.

If you’re finding it hard to make space around your own grief, I can help you explore that growth at your own pace.

You can message me through messenger or
Email Bernadettedeancounselling@gmail.com
Watts app,text or call 07587753795

Grief Awareness weekShared Samuel grief psychotherapist One of the hardest parts of grief is how people tiptoe around ...
02/12/2025

Grief Awareness week

Shared Samuel grief psychotherapist

One of the hardest parts of grief is how people tiptoe around the name of the person who’s died. They worry it will upset you, as though saying the name will reopen a wound you’ve somehow managed to close.

But anyone who has lived with grief knows the opposite is true. Their name is already with you, in your thoughts, your memories, your everyday life. What hurts far more is when others pretend that person never existed, as if love and loss can be tucked away.

Grief Awareness Week is a reminder that speaking their name is not something to fear. It’s one of the ways we honour who they were and how much they still mean. And if you’d like to, this space can be one place to do that.

I’ll start by sharing a name of someone I’m remembering this week, and you can follow if you wish:

This week I remember my friend Susanna. Vibrant, loving, funny, original, beautiful and brilliant. We had such s simple and deeply loving friendship. 💔 I never had enough time with her and I’m devastated there is no more time to spend with her.

So if it feels right, share the name of someone you love who has died in the comments, just their name, or a word or two about who they were. Both are enough.

When we speak their names, here and everyday, something shifts. We feel connected. Seen. And we remember that grief isn’t a sign of weakness but of love that continues.

The focus this year of grief awareness week is ‘growing with grief’ we are more likely to grow if we are met where are at, and you say their name.

I look forward to reading the names you share.

Love, Julia ❤️ Xx

I will share mine in the comments, please feel to share yours

Bernie xx

Today was my very first day as a online counsellor, and I’ll be honest I had a mix of feeling excited and anxiousFor yea...
26/11/2025

Today was my very first day as a online counsellor, and I’ll be honest I had a mix of feeling excited and anxious
For years, the majority of my work has mainly unfolded in therapy rooms.
So leaving the familiar behind and moving my practice solely online felt like opening the door to something new, hopeful, and a little unknown.

I can truly say online therapy can be every bit as personal, comforting, and meaningful as sitting together in the same room.

What surprises me most was how quickly the screen seems to disappear.
The conversations still flowed naturally. People still opened up with the same honesty and depth. I still felt present, connected, and fully attuned to the person in front of me.
Human connection doesn’t rely on shared physical space, it relies on presence, empathy, and the feeling of being heard and all of that easily carried through the screen.

As we are arriving into the winter months, I’ve also noticed how convenient online therapy can be , not just for me, but for those who have have therapy . There’s something comforting about being able to have a session without needing to travel in the cold, drive through icy roads, or rush between commitments in the dark. You can simply make a cup of tea, wrap yourself in a warm blanket, and join from a space that you choose that feels safe and familiar to you.

For many, winter can be a challenging season with shorter days, lower energy, and sometimes a sense of isolation. If anything, this makes emotional support even more important. If accessing that support is easier and more comfortable online, then I’m grateful to be able to offer it in this way.

As I end my first day online, I’m feeling excited, encouraged, and genuinely connected.
I’m looking forward to meeting people where they are, literally and emotionally.
No matter the distance. ❄️✨

The reality of healing can be
22/11/2025

The reality of healing can be

A little note of transparency 🙈 I used an app to remove someone's arm from round my waist in the pic on my previous pos...
13/11/2025

A little note of transparency 🙈

I used an app to remove someone's arm from round my waist in the pic on my previous post, I didn’t realise how much it changed how I looked
I didn’t want to change me in anyway.
A good reminder how technology can tweak reality when not intentional
The real me is still there lines ,curves etc
Also a good reminder not to compare yourself to others online 🫣

✨ Something that’s been on my mind recently I've been reflecting on how we comment on bodies, what we praise, and how ea...
13/11/2025

✨ Something that’s been on my mind recently

I've been reflecting on how we comment on bodies, what we praise, and how easily we forget the person beneath the size.

Alot of where I look lately, people are taking GL1 and posting photos of huge weight losses.

I completely understand the wish to feel healthy and comfortable in your body, we all deserve that.
but I can’t help feeling saddened by the pressure that still surrounds us… the unspoken belief that to be slim is to be better.

We seem to be moving further away from real body positivity, from celebrating all shapes, sizes and stages of life.

This picture of me was taken during one of the toughest, most stressful times of my life.
Inside I was sad to the core… yet I received the most compliments I’d ever had ....all about my size!

It made me stop and think what exactly are we praising?
Thinness? Or health, vitality and peace?

Next time you compliment someone on their body or weight, pause for a second…
Could you say something else instead?
“Your eyes are glowing.”
“You look calm.”
“You seem lighter in spirit.”

Because when the weight inevitably creeps back on (as it so often does that’s science, not failure), what will those compliments turn into then I wonder?

Let’s start celebrating people for their presence & spirit not their size
Bernie 💚

🍂 The Change in Seasons and the Power of Noticing 🌿Since moving my counselling work fully online, I’ve realised how impo...
09/11/2025

🍂 The Change in Seasons and the Power of Noticing 🌿

Since moving my counselling work fully online, I’ve realised how important it is to make a conscious effort to step away from the screen and get outside.

Yesterday, as I took a walk, I slowed down enough to really notice the change in seasons , the golden leaves, the cool air on my face, and that softer autumn light that feels calm and comforting. 🍁

As I paid attention to the colours and sounds around me, I could feel my mood start to shift, everything felt a little lighter.

It reminded me just how powerful nature can be when we let ourselves connect with it. 🌳
Nature is such an undervalued antidepressant gentle, grounding, and always there when we need it.

Selfcare doesn’t always have to be complicated or time consuming. Sometimes it’s as simple as pausing, breathing, and noticing what’s around us. 💛

✨ When was the last time you truly let nature take care of you for a while? ✨

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