Fiona Groenewald Counselling

07/09/2022

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2022/sep/06/psychologist-devastating-lies-mental-health-problems-politics?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Other

Society’s understanding of mental health issues locates the problem inside the person - and ignores the politics of their distress, says psychologist Sanah Ahsan

06/09/2022

You may have heard of a psychological therapy called ‘EMDR’ and are wondering what exactly is this strange sounding treatment? This blog will hopefully explain EMDR in a nutshell, help you to understand it and help you think if this might be something that could help you or someone else. EMDR ha...

24/09/2016

'Hiding in plain sight' - why we need to talk about high-functioning depression. I particularly like the part that suggests if you think you know someone who is struggling with this - ask them about it... Just say - how are you doing? https://www.facebook.com/HuffingtonPost/posts/10154253382526130

"Because a stigma is still attached, many keep their sadness hidden and no one knows anything is wrong"

22/06/2016

It's been such a long time since I've written on this page, which is reflective of a very busy time for me, both professionally and personally, as well as a certain 'paralysis' that has overcome me whenever Facebook has reminded me of just how many days have passed since I last 'reached out to my audience'! That paralysis itself has got me thinking about the many ways in which we can kid ourselves or go into denial about something, and how many different ways we can find to distract ourselves from something that needs doing. Whether it is starting a hobby or exercise, committing to a challenge, changing career, ending a relationship, mending a rift, or simply reconnecting with someone, it's amazing how hard it can sometimes be to simply get started. Change, even change that we know is going to be for the better, is hard. Our human tendency is always to stay the same, to remain... even when we know it's not doing us any good.

Which is why, whenever a new client comes to see me, I always congratulate them on just getting started. Whether they land up staying for one session, or six, or a lifetime, whether we have an instant rapport or it takes a little longer, whether I know I can help, or whether I refer them on to someone more appropriate, simply getting started in therapy can sometimes be the hardest step. I'm not sure why we still feel more able to tell people about our most intimate physical health difficulties and yet feel shame about admitting to emotional struggles, but it takes great courage to come to an absolute stranger and start the process.

If you have ever thought about changing something in your life, no matter how small, I hope this little reminder gives you a boost to go and just get started. Maybe that means therapy, or maybe it means picking up the phone, sending an email, asking for a catalogue - or just clearing out a cupboard! Good luck.... and get started. What's the worst that can happen?

20/04/2016

This week I've been thinking about sleep! And I'm sure there are many of you out there for whom this is an issue. Following a busy couple of weeks, I took an overnight flight on which I had almost no sleep. Unsurprisingly, for the next few days I felt unusually vulnerable, emotionally volatile and even tearful and anxious at times. Whilst there are lots of different factors that can contribute to these feelings, often we forget to take into account our physical health and the impact of sleep deprivation on emotional well-being. We easily excuse children's 'bad' behaviour by saying they are tired, and we expend massive energy (and often expense!) in creating the optimum sleep conditions for children and babies, but we often neglect to nurture ourselves in the same way. I'm often surprised by how many clients don't have good 'sleep hygiene' - the catch phrase used to describe the quality of our night time rest. Some absolute basics that help with good quality sleep include:
* putting yourself to bed and waking at roughly the same time each night and each morning to create a good sleep rhythm
* going to sleep in a DARK, COOL, QUIET room
* avoiding caffeine (including chocolate!) and excessive alcohol close to bed time
* avoiding strenuous exercise close to bed time (yoga/stretching/pilates or a short walk is good)
* reading or listening to music or a relaxing podcast
* a warm bath
* no screens/emails/social media access in the bedroom

Please contact me if you would like more suggestions for podcasts or progressive muscle relaxation ideas to aid in quality sleep. Zzzzzz.....

25/03/2016

One thing that always fascinates me about therapy is how often different clients will come in with the same issues in the same week. This week has been all about stress and the difficulty we have in finding time to ground ourselves in the midst of the chaos of everyday life. Perhaps this is particularly prevalent in the run up to holidays and family time, but how many of us will actually use the time off work to connect with each other and to REALLY relax? Mindfulness is a really interesting topic to explore in relation to this difficulty. There are so many ways to become more mindful and to reduce stress and anxiety, but one of the things I enjoy is guided progressive muscular relaxation - here is a link to one of the podcasts that I use and suggest to others to try. People often nod and laugh in agreement when I tell them that even though I enjoy yoga, at the end of the class when the teacher tells us to lie down and relax, I start feeling anxious, immediately my attention turns to the to-do list that awaits me when I leave the class - the 'down time' feels unproductive and I struggle to let go and indulge in it. I've started making a conscious effort to do one thing every day that I am doing 'mindfully' - and this podcast is an easy way to start to train your mind to focus. http://www.moodjuice.scot.nhs.uk/downloads/progressivemuscularrelaxation.mp3

08/03/2016

This page has been quiet... I have spent the last few weeks worrying about my viva - the oral exam which was the last hurdle before being awarded my Doctorate. Of course, if I was following my own advice I would remember that worry is a useless and unproductive past time - so I did spend the time trying to prepare, but there were lots of moments in between when I just worried!! One of the concepts that I quite like within the CBT framework, which is quite helpful to people who have high anxiety, is 'worry time'. This is time which you consciously set aside to worry about an issue, rather than going around in circles letting it take over your life... So if you are particularly concerned about a specific issue, maybe it would be worth trying. Set aside twenty minutes to dedicate to just sitting and worrying about whatever it is - that way, hopefully when it pops into your head at other times, you will be able to say 'Not now, I am going to worry about that later' - and mean it. Can't hurt to try? After all that, the viva went very well. I have been asked to make a few small changes, which I have done this week. Another lesson in the pointlessness of worrying and the importance of regaining control of our anxious thoughts.

17/02/2016

I love this description. Clients with anxiety sometimes battle to describe it and often feel misunderstood and belittled.

12/02/2016

This week I attended my monthly peer supervision and networking meeting, where I was presenting my thesis on 'Gender Disappointment'... I interviewed mothers who had been disappointed in the s*x of their baby.
The key message from the discussion that followed my presentation is just how hard mothers can be on themselves, and on other mothers; GUILT seems to be the buzzword whenever mothers trust their audience enough to be honest. Mothers often find it hard to be really honest, as they fear being judged or alienated by other mothers. This has got me thinking about how important it is for mothers, whether 'new' or 'old' to have a network of people (or a therapist!) who they can speak to about how they are REALLY feeling about their motherhood journey. I truly believe that we all benefit from simply unburdening ourselves of guilt by expressing it; it's especially healing if your audience accepts what you are saying without judgement, or even shares their own experience in order to normalise yours. Be kind to yourselves, moms, you're doing an amazing job whether you are working/staying at home, breast feeding/bottle feeding, co-sleeping/putting your baby in its own room, using a dummy/not using a dummy, allowing your kids no TV/letting them watch till their eyes go square - whatever other controversial debates are out there (and there will always be controversy over something!)... It's a tough journey, be kind.