16/12/2022
I love the advice at the end of this post. I'm sure many of us can recognise ourselves somewhere in here.
So if you need to, take time out... breathe... call someone who will listen. It's OK 🫶
"H E Y // sorry
I won’t be coming into work today.
No worries at all.
Was the reply.
Is everything alright?
She paused for a moment
as her finger hovered her phone.
Actually. It’s not. My baby had a scary high temperature last night and I haven’t felt that out in control as her mum before. The worry is debilitating. I haven’t slept a wink. My inner dialogue of fear and overthinking is exhausting and I’m tired in my bones. She won’t be put down, I’ll be lucky to get a meal in today and I’m already dreading tonight.
Everything feels quite insurmountable at the moment, actually. Our family can’t catch a break and the relentlessness of each kid taking turns bringing home a new germ is starting to take a toll on me, mentally and physically. I don’t know how much longer I can manage the juggle.
To add to the hard, my eldest is going through something quite heavy, so while I have you, I need next Friday off too. I know taking leave to meet appointment schedules isn’t ideal for the workplace, but it’s a necessity for us.
To be honest, this working mum gig is harrrrd enough trying to balance late meetings and school drop offs, but summoning the courage to call in sick, again, can be enough to tip me over the edge. It feels almighty ironic that I feel genuinely guilty for not being at work, while simultaneously feeling complete comfort in the decision to stay home with my sick child.
And to tell you the truth, calling in sick and the subsequent communication to staff that I’m away gives me overwhelming anxiety. I know I am letting people down, I know my workload continues to grow, I know there are times colleagues pick up my slack. And while I’m infinitely grateful, I can’t help but worry that the favours are side barred with fed up water cooler remarks.
So no, everything isn’t ok.
Not right now. It will be, but currently this season is challenging.
But thank you for asking.
That’s what she really wanted to say.
Lay it all out.
But, instead
She wrote
Yep, everything is fine
Just the baby.. sick again.
Hopefully see you tomorrow.
I’m sorry!"
We know a lot of you who are feeling this right now. Just remember;
- It will get better.
- You are not alone.
- Survival mode means screen time, pj days, cereal for dinner - whatever it takes, without the guilt.
- This time of the year is overwhelming enough as it is - let alone with so much sickness around. Take care of yourself and put your family first, say no to invitations and commitments if you have to!
- Missing out on festive celebrations can be really hard for some people - we are thinking of you!
Words and image: Little Jemmings
