The Rambling Psychotherapist

The Rambling Psychotherapist Supporting you to thrive and create a life for yourself which honours and meets your full potential!
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It's Self-care Day!But what is self-care?The answer to that is complicated, and would be different for you than it is fo...
24/07/2025

It's Self-care Day!

But what is self-care?

The answer to that is complicated, and would be different for you than it is for me (for starters my self-care involves getting into a body of icy-cold water every day, which is far from everyone's cup of tea). And on top of that, to give a good go at answering the question fully would take far more time and space than is available on your average social media post.

What I will say though, is that in order for something to be classed as self-care, there has to be an element of actual care involved.

Let me give you an example to try and illustrate what I mean...

Many people I know eat healthily as part of their self-care regime. However, a lot of people, myself included can also, at times, fall into the trap of eating healthily because "you have to", or "that's what we're told we should do".

If you place those stories alongside a slightly different explanation of why you eat healthily - "I care deeply about providing my body with the nutrition it needs to operate at it's best. And I enjoy crafting creative meals with delicious ingredients, because it is a way of showing my mind, body and soul that I give a damn about it, and that looking after myself is enjoyable" - you might see what I am getting at, when I say that self-care has to have a true element of care involved in it for you to receive the full benefits of it. The two narratives have a qualitatively different feel to them, and the latter is way more enriching the the other two options.

And yet, caring for yourself is one of the biggest hurdles most of my clients have to face when it comes to making long-lasting, beneficial change that is supportive of a satisfying life.

This little obstacle can be a real f*cker to overcome, but it is possible. And not only that, it delivers so many rewards too.

If this is something which you would like to work towards, get in touch.

Email me at rachel@ramblingpsychotherapist.co.uk to book in a discovery call and let's see if we might be a good fit to work together.

I've had a few new followers here recently, so I thought it would be worthwhile swinging by today to say hello and intro...
22/07/2025

I've had a few new followers here recently, so I thought it would be worthwhile swinging by today to say hello and introduce myself.

I'm Rachel, and as you've taken the time to follow me, I'm guessing you are already aware that I'm a relational integrative psychotherapist. But that probably doesn't tell you a lot about who I am as a person, and why I chose to do this job.

So, to try and fit a very long story into a few short paragraphs, let me tell you a bit about myself...

I have spent far too much time in the past feeling like I never quite fit anywhere, knowing what it's like to be lonely and yet surrounded by people, and understanding that it can feel really unsafe to be vulnerable enough to show your true self. The world felt tricky and like something I had to survive, not a place to thrive.

It was pretty sh*tty to feel like that.

And then I learned that I didn't have to.

I got support to heal from my past experiences. I found 'my place' in this intricately woven web of life that we call our world. I found my tribe - the people who I know are safe and I can trust. And I started to craft a life for myself that I feel deeply satisfied with.

And then, I decided somewhere along the way, that I wanted to support other people to do the same. And that is what has led me here, talking to you this very day.

I'm a lover of the natural world, outdoors enthusiast, Yorkshire woman with a very broad but sweary infused vocabulary, and I care deeply about supporting people to move from struggling to thriving.

If you like the sound of me, and think I might be a good person to support you at whatever stage you are at on your journey, drop me an email at rachel@ramblingpsychotherapist.co.uk to book in a discovery call. Let's have a chat to see if we are a good fit to work together.

**and yes, that is a jackdaw on my head - I told you I was a lover of the natural world. We met by chance down by the river the other morning. We said hello (I like birds) and we just seemed to click instantly. And if this isn't proof that you can find joyful connection in the most unexpected of moments, I don't know what is 😉

Despite what a lot of people will tell your here on social media about following their programme being the key to reliev...
18/07/2025

Despite what a lot of people will tell your here on social media about following their programme being the key to relieving your suffering - healing is very rarely a one-size-fits-all approach.

What suits me, may not work for you, because fundamentally what makes us tick is different for every single one of us.

What I do know though, is that if you examine most successful healing journeys which are the foundations for many of the programmes that get put together, there are some very basic principles at the bottom of them.

And I wish someone had sat me down at the beginning of my journey and told me what they were. I might have got to where I am now sooner (and then again maybe not, we all have to learn in our own way too. I will never know).

If you'd like to hear a little bit more about my journey and find out what these basic principles are, you can read all about over on my blog.

Grab yourself a cuppa and a comfy spot for 10 minutes and follow this link to start reading https://ramblingpsychotherapist.co.uk/index.php/2025/07/17/a-mothers-love-part-4/

It's that time again. Our next community dip is scheduled for this Saturday - 19th July at 10am. We've had a couple o...
16/07/2025

It's that time again. Our next community dip is scheduled for this Saturday - 19th July at 10am. We've had a couple of spaces free up, so book yourself a place if you fancy joining us https://events.more-human.co.uk/event/1750754562260x989094524093988900

We are a fabulous, friendly group of people who come together to share our love of the water, lovely conversation and a sense of community. All of which are really supportive for good mental wellbeing.

Hope to see you there 🧜‍♀️😊🧜

Tomorrow is National Simplicity Day!There are countless reels and how to videos all over social media extoling the virtu...
11/07/2025

Tomorrow is National Simplicity Day!

There are countless reels and how to videos all over social media extoling the virtues of self-regulation and showing you the new best ways to do it.

It's like every man and his dog have an idea of what will work best.

However, self-regulation actually boils down to three pretty simple strategies, which form the basis of pretty much all of the techniques you will find out here on the internet.

1️⃣Be mindful - orient yourself in the present moment.
2️⃣Breath is the fastest way to let your nervous system know there is not actually a threat around. Focus on any breath which gets you to extend your exhale as this will slow your heartrate.
3️⃣The final layer is the somatic layer. Your body needs to know it is safe. There are myriad ways to do this, from enacting a physical running motion to let a flight response literally run through your system and out, to offering your body soothing touch to let it know it is safe.

If you find yourself regularly triggered by situations which, in reality, are actually non-threatening, it can be really helpful to seek some support to better understand and work with your nervous system.

I work with you to understand what has shaped your nervous systems and to start to layer up new strategies to help you feel more resilient in your every day life. If this sounds like something you would like to try out, get in touch.

Email me to book a discovery call at rachel@ramblingpsychotherapist.co.uk and let's have a chat.

Ever been networking in a lake?Well, now you can!As business owners it's vital that we keep on top of our mental health,...
09/07/2025

Ever been networking in a lake?

Well, now you can!

As business owners it's vital that we keep on top of our mental health, so and I are hosting a Mental Health Swim for small business owners this coming Friday 11th July at 10:30am. It's a great opportunity to network, and if you really want to get noticed, cause a splash (I am unapologetic for the pun) 😂

Book your place here https://events.more-human.co.uk/event/dip-for-small-business-owners-with-mental-health-swims-st-aidans-leeds

Today is Chocolate Day!Have you ever heard the phrase - a little bit of what you fancy does you good?It's a powerful sto...
07/07/2025

Today is Chocolate Day!

Have you ever heard the phrase - a little bit of what you fancy does you good?

It's a powerful story!

The idea behind it being that, every now and again, letting yourself indulge can bring you a bit of pleasure and doesn't ruin all the good work you put in the rest of the time.

It's somewhat permission giving.

But...

Inherent in this story is also the idea that too much of what you fancy does you bad, which sets up a dilemma. How much is too much, and how much is just enough?

These stories of good and bad appear everywhere in our societies, and corporate entities capitalise on them in order to sway our behaviour.

On one side, you have the chocolate manufacturers of the world who want you to believe that your 'just not yourself' without one of their more famous products. On the other, you have the diet industry who want you to believe that eating said product is a 'sin'.

They're tapping into our reward and shame processes. And unsurprisingly, it works.

These (and other similar) stories filter into our psyche and take root in our subconscious. There, they quietly set us up for a never ending cycle of giving ourselves permission to do things and then feeling bad for having done so.

It's vicious!

In order to make conscious choices which really support you to live in alignment with who you want to be, it can be really good to examine these unconscious stories and reframe them, so that you are working from a more helpful narrative.

If you would like some support to do just this, get in contact. Email me at rachel@ramblingpsychotherapist.co.uk to book in a discovery call and let's find out if we make a good fit for working together.

In the meantime, I'm going to do a bit of permission giving myself. I'm off to have a little bit of my favourite chocolate!

Free Hugs Day!And no, this is not me adding free hugs to my list of services.Hugs are important though. Everyone knows t...
05/07/2025

Free Hugs Day!

And no, this is not me adding free hugs to my list of services.

Hugs are important though. Everyone knows that a hug from a friend or loved one can dramatically improve your mood and, according to some studies, regular hugs can even improve your physical health outcomes as well.

But did you know that self-hugs are pretty powerful too?

And let's face it, if you can get over the idea that they might feel a little silly at first, they are absolutely available for free and on tap whenever you could use one.

Here are some reasons to give them a go:

💚 Touch, even your own touch, helps promote relaxation since it lowers levels of cortisol (a stress hormone) in your body.

💚 It can help you feel safe and secure by offering a sense of containment.

💚 It can increase your capacity for self-compassion. Your nervous system doesn't really know the difference between soothing self-touch and kind touch delivered by someone else.

💚 It can improve your mood, as even self-hugs support the release of oxytocin.

💚 Some studies suggest it can help relieve pain.

All really good reasons to give them a go if you ask me.

I've had a couple of people ask me recently what is Relational Leadership Development and why would I want to try it?Thi...
04/07/2025

I've had a couple of people ask me recently what is Relational Leadership Development and why would I want to try it?

This was my answer:

🌱Relational Leadership Development is a kind of coaching which has relational behaviour as its focus.

🌱 Time and space to reflect on the obstacles which are getting in the way of you being the leader you want to be.

🌱 Support to recognise your own relational behaviours and work out ways of implementing long lasting, meaningful change.

🌱 Support to recognise the relational behaviours of others and learn how to work with different personality styles, in order to get the best outcomes for all concerned.

Recently I have worked with someone who came to me feeling like they were just about getting away with doing their job and like they could get caught out for being an imposter at any given moment. They were largely just keeping their head down at work and hoping no-one noticed.

We had ten sessions, and now they feel confident in their ability to do their job well and have even led the way on developing a multi-agency working party that are shaping up national policy for a group of people who need some serious support.

Quite the transformation huh.

If you feel like you would like some support to hone your relational leadership skills, email me at rachel@ramblingpsychotherapist.co.uk to book in a discovery call.

Let's have a chat and see whether working together might be supportive for you.

Today is International Joke DayJokes and humour are in important feature in good communication.Humour has the power to c...
01/07/2025

Today is International Joke Day

Jokes and humour are in important feature in good communication.

Humour has the power to connect people, to soften tension when speaking about challenging things and to help people bond, because laughter releases neuro-transmitters that support intimacy in relationships.

And, as with all relational behaviours, humour also has the power to do the exact opposite. So, it's advisable to be careful with our use of humour too.

Having said that, I am a fan of the use of humour in therapy.

I think, where appropriate, and when used carefully, humour can really support people to process challenges and make change. Let's face it, it's always easier to do something hard if it can be made a little fun too.

So, if you think therapy is all doom and gloom and constantly going over the difficult stuff of life, think again. Therapy sessions with me (and many other therapists I know) can often be full of laughter and this is the case even though we don't shy away from the challenging stuff.

Are you considering getting a little support to navigate this thing we call life? If so, email me at rachel@ramblingpsychotherapist.co.uk to book in a discovery call and let's see if we might be a good fit to work together.

** The guy in the pic is another therapist who knows the value of humour in relationships . This is him moonlighting as a stand-up comic earlier this year. His jokes were better than the one I've added to his image, but he is a fan of a dad joke 😂

"The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction, not a destination." ~ Carl RogersI'm working with...
25/06/2025

"The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction, not a destination." ~ Carl Rogers

I'm working with a lot of people at the moment who feel they are somehow getting life wrong because they either aren't meeting the milestones in the blueprint of what a successful life should look like provided to them by their families and society at large, or they're meeting them but failing to feel fulfilled by their success.

Some of these people are really at the start of this, just finishing university now and looking out there into the big wide world and wondering what comes next. Others are much further into life; they've got the career, the house, the car, the partner, the stuff, the holidays (the list goes on of things we are supposed to aspire to) and yet they somehow still feel like there's something missing for them.

This is not an unusual experience. When we are young, we are very rarely encouraged to think about the kinds of life experiences we might want and to consider what our version of success might be. Rather, we are pointed in the direction of shining examples that we are expected to emulate.

But this is not authentic living. If we all wanted to be the same thing, do the same stuff, go to the same places, be interested only in the same things, the very thing that makes life interesting - diversity - would be annihilated.

So, if you are currently finding yourself living a life that no matter how hard you have tried leaves you feeling like you're somewhat missing the point, maybe, just maybe it's because you're using someone else's benchmark rather than one that is authentic to you.

Don't fret if you find yourself here, as Carl Rogers suggests this thing called life is a journey, and we can change our course at any time.

It takes work, but it is more than possible for you to find fulfillment.

If you would like some help to working some of this stuff out, email me at rachel@ramblingpsychotherapist.co.uk to book in a discovery call.

Today is National Writing Day.Now why on earth as a psychotherapist am I bringing this to your attention?Well, a number ...
23/06/2025

Today is National Writing Day.

Now why on earth as a psychotherapist am I bringing this to your attention?

Well, a number of reasons actually. For starters, there have been several studies done which suggest that writing can have a really healing effect on us.

When we get things down on a page (particularly when using old school pen and paper), it engages our brain and body in a way which seems to kick start a healing process. We can often give ourselves permission to express ourselves more fully when we are not communicating with another person, but to a piece of paper instead. And, writing is an act of creativity; when we engage our creative brain, we are much more able to regulate ourselves and to problem solve.

Now these all seem like pretty good reasons to give writing a go, if you ask me.

I recently started my own writing project. I'm telling the story of my healing journey over on my blog at the moment. This is, in part, very much for my own healing purposes. But also I want to share my experiences because I am utterly convinced they will, at the bare minimum, help some people feel less alone in their struggles, and at best may give people some knowledge and skills to enhance their own healing journey too.

If you're interested in checking it out, you can do so here https://ramblingpsychotherapist.co.uk/index.php/blog/

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Wednesday 11am - 5pm
Thursday 11am - 5pm
Friday 11am - 5pm

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https://ramblingpsychotherapist.co.uk/index.php/courses/

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