Positively Autistic

07/06/2025

🧠 The Stages of Realising You’re Autistic + ADHD at 46 (Give or Take)
For the late-diagnosed, self-diagnosed, and still-figuring-it-outs—especially if you were socialised as female.

I didn’t wake up one day knowing I was neurodivergent.
It was more like this slow, spiralling, bittersweet unraveling.

Here’s how it went. Maybe it’ll sound familiar.

🔍 Curiosity
Something’s always felt… different.
Like I’m tuned into a frequency that everyone else seems to ignore.
Like I’ve been translating the world my whole life.

😬 Dismissal
"But I make eye contact."
"But I care too much."
"But I’m functional (sort of)."
(That one’s the kicker, isn’t it?)

💡 Recognition
Sensory overload? Executive dysfunction? Burnout? Masking?
I wasn’t just tired—I was masking fatigue.
And suddenly, the language fit.

😳 Shock
All those years of “what’s wrong with me?”
Turns out, nothing was wrong—
but the world wasn’t built for people like me.

💔 Grief
I grieved the child who was punished for “not trying hard enough.”
The teen who withdrew.
The woman who became a chameleon just to stay employed.
And I grieved the time lost—misdiagnosed, misunderstood, missed entirely.

🧠 Research Spiral
Welcome to the late-diagnosed PhD program I did not sign up for.
Yes, I can now quote articles, books, and memes in equal measure.

🥹 Self-Compassion (Sort Of)
I’m not lazy, dramatic, or difficult.
I’m dysregulated. I’m demand avoidant. I’m exhausted.
And I’m worthy of gentleness.

🔥 Rage
At schools.
At doctors.
At HR departments and corporate nonsense and being told to “manage stress better.”
At how much I internalised instead of questioning.

🧩 Rebuild
Not a reinvention.
A reclamation.

A life with less masking and more soft clothing.
Less "should" and more "what do I need right now?"

Better snacks. More naps.
Permission to be everything I am.

I’m still rebuilding.
But I no longer gaslight myself.
And if you’re in this process too?
You're not late. You're right on time.

With love and middle-finger energy,
Paula 💙

10/05/2025

When is autism + ADHD not a superpower?
When it gets you estranged from your family because you're "too much" or "too blunt."
When your sensitivity gets twisted into a weakness people exploit—emotionally, financially.
When your intense loyalty keeps you in a toxic marriage for far too long.
When your nervous system burns out again from masking at work, so you stop trying.
When you're 55, brilliant, autistic, and wondering if you'll die broke and alone because “ambition” never worked the way it was supposed to.
This is the part we’re not allowed to post.
This is the part that doesn’t fit the neat little hashtag narrative.
I’m not here to romanticise autism or ADHD.
I’m here to tell the truth—especially when it’s complicated.Yes, I have strengths.
But they’ve come at a cost.
And when society doesn’t see your worth, those “gifts” can feel like burdens.
To every late-diagnosed woman who’s lost too much:

You are not broken.
You were never “too much.”
You were just not protected.
I’m building spaces for us to unmask and grieve—and still believe in something softer.

This is what quiet power looks like.
No glitter. Just truth.

04/05/2025

https://ko-fi.com/s/9f1e61d449

🧡 Group Session Invite: You don’t have to hold it together alone Hi lovely humans, I’m opening up a gentle online space for late-diagnosed autistic ...

18/12/2024

If you need help over Christmas, I’m here.

Alternatively, here are some helplines if you need to speak to someone anonymously.

05/12/2024

It has taken years to realize how important that is.

29/06/2024

A L I F E U N L I V E D

I’ve missed opportunity after opportunity and have lived most of my life unfulfilled. It’s only after my AuDHD diagnosis at 46 that I’ve managed to do the things I wanted when I was younger. But I’m unemployable, terrible with money, messy, have face blindness so don’t recognise people I know; I’m frightened most of the time.

Neurodivergent people have vulnerabilities that other people cannot possibly comprehend. This planet doesn’t work for us.

But…

When I talk about Positive Psychology, I’m not talking toxic positivity. I mean being the best neurodivergent person you can be, living a life that fits you and allows you to be fulfilled. I swim against the tide, I always will and I’ve sacrificed so much to be able to live with myself.

My mission in life is to help you cope, manage, grow and flow. However that works out for you. Know your love languages, be creative, question everything and lean into your diagnosis.

Set your solid foundations and live the way you want to.

29/06/2024

I do so love non-autistic people telling us what we want.

26/06/2024

https://positiveautism.substack.com/p/neurodivergence-and-self-determination?utm_source=substack&utm_content=feed%3Arecommended%3Acopy_link

Introduction Welcome to the wild, wonderful world of neurodivergence! Whether you’re autistic, have ADHD, dyslexia, or any other flavour of a beautifully unique brain, you've likely experienced the delightful chaos of forging your own path. Self-determination for neurodivergent folks isn't just ab...

26/06/2024

I'm a Positive Psychology Coach, a hypnotherapist, and I'm also Autistic. The purpose of my Doctorate is to research how neurodivergent can people thrive in the workplace with the right type of intervention; and really, these interventions apply to anyone wanting to get over life's hurdles.

I love helping people, and it's not often that I ask for help myself, but sometimes you just have to bite the bullet.

I don't expect something for nothing, though. If you donate to my study fund, I will offer you coaching, hypnotherapy, or a one off programme.

Every penny helps, but if you donate these specific amounts, here's what you'll get.

1 - £25 - A personalised hypnotherapy recording for you, on whatever subject/problem you want to tackle, for you to listen to whenever you like.

2 - £50 - My programme, "What's Your Panic?" that you can work through in your own time.

3- £85 - A hypnotherapy session over Zoom, which I promise you'll love.

4 - £120 - A 90 minute Zoom coaching session and action plan. Which you will also love :)

If you donate one of these specific amounts, please be sure to include your name and email address so I can contact you to arrange your sessions.

These funds will help realise a life long dream, and help me help more people.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this.

Paula ###

Hi, I'm Paula, and I'm raising money to pay for my Doctoral degree. I'm a Positive Psy… Paula Jones needs your support for Paula's Doctorate Adventure

26/06/2024

26/06/2024

Check out if you have an emotional needs deficit.