03/03/2026
Eight years ago, freshly graduated from university, I used to write posts like, “Maybe it’s not stubborn fat… maybe you just haven’t tried hard enough”.
Even writing that now makes me cringe. And if I am honest, it makes me feel the need to apologise to anyone who read those posts at the time. I genuinely believed I was being motivating. I thought that pushing harder, being stricter, and calling people out would spark change. I simply didn’t know better.
If you have been following me for a while, you’ll know how life-changing it was for me to discover coaching and to start learning about behaviour change and motivational interviewing. It completely reshaped the way I see health, progress, and the role I play in someone’s journey.
Eight years later, and after working with more than 1,000 people, I know with certainty that transformation is rarely about willpower alone. What looks like “lack of discipline” on the surface is often stress, fear, overwhelm, self-doubt, or years of unhelpful messaging about food and body image.
From my experience, shaming, guilting, or frightening people into action does not create sustainable results. It might create short bursts of compliance, but not lasting change. Not confidence. Not trust.
What has led to truly life-changing outcomes is something very different. It is empowering people to make their own decisions. It is supporting them in recognising their strengths. It is helping them see possibilities they may have overlooked in themselves.
People are the experts in their own lives. No one understands their routines, pressures, values, and internal struggles better than they do. When you create space for that awareness to surface, something shifts. Change feels collaborative rather than imposed. And that is where real progress begins.
Looking back, I am grateful for that earlier version of me because she was eager to help, even if her approach was incomplete. Growth has been part of my own journey too.
I sometimes wonder how many people are still being told that they simply need to try harder.
Have you ever been made to feel that your struggles were just a matter of willpower?
