Dinah Simmons - Advanced Grief Recovery Method Specialist

15/06/2025

🌿 You and Me, on Father’s Day 🌿

I’ve been thinking about my dad today.
The straight-up talks.
The taxi service before Uber was ever a thing.
And the way my college mates were convinced he was my brother — so embarrassing at the time, yet I chuckle now reflecting back on this.

Father’s Day brings so much up, doesn’t it?

You might be feeling it too.
Maybe your dad has died.
Maybe he's still here, but not part of your life.
Maybe things were complicated — full of love and pain all tangled together.

Whatever your story is, I want you to know this: you’re not alone.

Grief doesn’t only show up in tears.
It shows up in memories, in the ache of what never was, in the “if onlys” and “I wish…”

You’re not broken.
You’re grieving.
And that deserves space.

💬 If today feels heavy — I’m here. I won’t tell you to cheer up or look on the bright side.
I’ll just listen. With heart. With honesty. With no judgement.

18/04/2025

💔 When you're grieving, even joyful family moments can feel overwhelming.

Everyone else might be laughing, celebrating, and creating memories — but for you, just showing up might feel like a mountain to climb.

Maybe you're grieving a loved one who isn’t there this year.
Maybe you're carrying a quieter kind of loss — a relationship, a pet, your health, or the version of life you thought you'd have.

💛 Whatever your grief looks like, it's not what's wrong with you, — you're grieving, which is perfectly normal and natural.

📩 Reach out to find out how the Grief Recovery Method can help you feel lighter, free from the emotional pain that holds you back, and gently connecting back to fond memories without the pain, one step at a time.

17/02/2025

✨The Power of Kindness ✨

Did you know that Random Acts of Kindness aren’t just beneficial for others—they’re good for YOU too? 💛

Whether you’re feeling stuck or just having a tough day, small acts of kindness can be a game-changer. They release feel-good hormones, reduce stress, boost mental and physical health, and even help us feel more connected.

Kindness doesn’t have to be big—a smile, a kind word, or a small gesture can make a huge difference. And the best part? It’s contagious!

If you’re struggling with loss, finding ways to give or receive kindness can be a gentle step towards taking care of yourself. One small act at a time. 💕

What’s the last kind thing someone did for you? Let’s share some positivity in the comments! 👇😊

24/12/2024

**Coping with Grief During the Holidays**

The festive season can be a joyful time for many, but for those experiencing loss, it can also be incredibly challenging. Grief doesn’t take a holiday, and the pressure to join in celebrations can feel overwhelming.

If you or someone you know is grieving, it’s important to remember that these feelings are natural. Creating space for compassion and understanding can make a big difference. A simple check-in, like asking, *“How are you feeling today?”*, can provide comfort and show support.

Let’s spread kindness and empathy this season, ensuring that no one feels alone. Sometimes, just listening can be the most meaningful gift.

Wishing you a season filled with care, connection, and understanding. 💙

25/09/2024

**When Your Teen Heads to University: The Emotional Rollercoaster for Parents 🎢**
That moment when your teen heads off to university hits you like a whirlwind of pride, excitement, and, let’s be honest, a deep sense of *loss*.

One minute they’re your baby, and the next, they’re packing up and starting their own adventure. It’s not just about waving goodbye—it’s a massive life change, for both of you.

# # # 🎯 The Emotional Whirlwind 🎯
You’ve spent years raising this human, and now, the house feels *too* quiet. No more piles of laundry, messy kitchens, or “Mum/Dad, can you…?” It’s a real *loss of routine*. It’s the *end of an era* and, while you’re bursting with pride, there’s also a little heartbreak too. That’s called *grief*, and it’s totally normal.

One minute you’re thrilled for them, the next you’re missing their messy room. You've been the chef, chauffeur, fixer, cleaner....—so what now? Where does this leave *you*?

# # # 💡 Changing Roles, Not Losing Them 💡
Your role isn’t gone—it’s just changed. You’re still needed, just in a different way. You’re no longer the *director* of their life but more of a *consultant* on the sidelines. Trust me, your importance hasn’t diminished.

Grief isn’t just about losing a person—it’s about any big change. And this is HUGE. You’re losing the daily interactions and the constant noise, and that’s tough. It’s okay to feel a little lost and even a little sad, even as you celebrate this exciting next step for them.

# # # 💬 And What About Your Teen? 💬
They’re going through their own emotional rollercoaster—excited for freedom but also nervous (maybe even sad) about leaving home. When they call, listen without judgement (and try not to jump into ‘fix it’ mode!). Share your feelings too—if you hide your emotions, will they feel safe sharing theirs?

They still need to know that *home is always there* when they need it, whilst navigating the path to adulthood.

**Key Takeaways for Us Parents:**
1. The Connection Doesn’t End**: You’re still a huge part of their journey, even from the sidelines.
2. **Feel All the emotions**: It’s totally normal to feel pride, sadness, excitement, and loss. Don’t be afraid to ride that emotional wave.
3 . **Talk About It**: Chat with other parents going through the same thing—you’re not alone!

Be kind to yourself and your teen as you both navigate this wild new chapter. 💖

✨ Are you going through this now? Got tips or thoughts to share? Drop them below! 👇

04/05/2024

🌟 The rollercoaster of emotions!

This post is not just “close to home”, but in MY HOME!

My daughter-in-law, Katy, just dropped one of the most personal, authentic and emotionally honest pieces of writing I've seen outside of my work.

As an author, she's brought her A-game, delivering a raw, straight-up, account of her grappling with cancer during a pregnancy, which was so meticulously planned and then welcoming a firstborn into the world.

From the highs of new beginnings to the gut-wrenching lows of fear and uncertainty, she shows the importance of embracing all our emotions and allowing ourselves to feel deeply and fully.

It's a chapter of life with a crazy mix of emotions that “Grief & Loss” causes. It's not around bereavement, but many other losses like health, control of your life, the hopes dreams and expectations as a mother. One minute you're bawling your eyes out and next, you're fist-pumping the air in triumph whilst reading what appears to be the script of a tear-jerking movie, except it's real life, and she's bossing it as the main character!

The “extras” in this movie are my husband and I sitting on the sidelines, discovering grand-parenting from a very different perspective to what we anticipated. Whilst the core theme is the same, everybody feels things from their own unique perspective. For me personally, it went like this:

Pride & admiration as my son supported his family head-on with strength and courage. I was in awe, yet devastated to watch him go through such emotional turmoil.

Grateful to the NHS for the amazing, coordinated care they gave Katy, yet angry as to why someone so young and fit was subject to such a devastating disease.

Appreciative of family and friends being so supportive, yet others were made assumptions, causing frustration.

As a parent/grandparent, every ounce of me was desperate to help and take over, but I had to restrain myself and respect they needed to find their own path to do what was right for them as a family.

Holding our newborn grandchild had me crying with pride and love but heartbreak for the treatment journey Katy was about to start, knowing that her pregnancy and discovering the joys of being a new mother were cut short to save her life.

I utilised The Grief Recovery Method which I know and love so well, to manage these conflicting emotions. I’d already experienced first-hand the resilience and strength this tool gave to me and the clients I’ve supported. It enabled me to be present handling whatever painful emotions came up and continue to enjoy the best experiences in life moving forward.

So, do yourself a favour and give her article a read. Trust me, you'll laugh, you'll cry, as I did all over again!

If you are finding yourself being stuck and held back by painful emotions please get in touch to find out how can work for you.

🎢💖

You know, I'm not sure I really ever appreciated the term "a rollercoaster of emotions" until recently, but these past 2 years have been just that. It was not part of the plan to disappear off the face of the earth and stop writing, but I did. Somewhere amongst that rollercoaster of emotions that I have been on, I lost my spark. Now I hope to regain it, but first I will tell you my story, a story I never thought I would need to tell.

Osteogenesis imperfecta is a genetic condition that causes bones to be weak and break easily, there is no cure. My husband and many of his family are affected by this condition and while we knew we wanted a child, we also knew that we did not want them to have to live with this condition. If we had a child there would be a 50% chance of them having OI and that was too high of a risk for us to take. Thankfully, science is a wonderful thing and thanks to some brilliant geneticists, the gene which causes OI could be identified and therefore avoided. So, we began the long and tedious process of pre-implantation genetic diagnosis IVF.

To cut a long story short, I felt like a consent signing chicken pincushion. It was eventually worth it, all the injections, hormones, driving around the country to different hospital appointments, piles of consent forms and having to isolate due to Covid restrictions – it was all worth it when I was told it had worked, I was pregnant.
After those first few tentative scans to make sure everything was ok, we thought we could relax, we had a lovely, healthy baby on the way. Everything was good. Then I found a lump. A painful, palpable lump.

Off I went to the doctors, and after an awkward, uncomfortable examination the doctor told me that it was just pregnancy related, nothing to worry about. Phew.

A few weeks later though, it still hurt and I could still feel a lump, so I went back. I saw a different doctor who nodded thoughtfully and said, it is probably just pregnancy related but we’ll refer you to the Breast Clinic, they might not even see you because you’re pregnant. A few days later I got the referral though and I went to the breast clinic, hoping to clear things up.

The surgeon examined me and explained that pregnancy makes things difficult to tell, it was probably just pregnancy related normal lumps and bumps, but we’ll do an ultrasound just in case. No problem, I had the ultrasound there and then on both sides. The sonographer explained that pregnancy makes it hard to see clearly but decided they were going to take a biopsy from one of the lumps. The surgeon seemed confident that it was nothing to worry about, we arranged a follow-up telephone call for the results the next week.

However, on the morning of that appointment I received a phone call from the clinic requesting I attend in person instead. I said ok, hung up and just cried. I knew then. They didn’t say anything but I knew what they were going to tell me at the appointment.

Cancer.

You have cancer.

You are 32 weeks pregnant and you have grade 3, invasive ductal carcinoma.

I sat in silence.

We need to do biopsies of the other lumps, mammograms, get you a CT and an MRI. We can’t do all of the tests because you’re pregnant. We’ll discuss with your obstetrics team and the oncologist to discuss the plan. It’s good you’re this far along, it means it probably doesn’t matter if we wait a few more weeks for you to give birth and then you can start treatment right away.
Our plan for our baby flew out of the window. My husband had to sit alone with his thoughts and fears as I had four more biopsies taken followed by six mammograms. I had the CT and MRI within the next week. Everything became a blur of hospital appointments. The excitement we had shared was obliterated by that single word, cancer.

F**k.

We got home and just laid on the bed and cried. I was so scared. Then I thought how do I tell my mum? I called her and she asked me if I was ok and I just cried and shook my head.

"I have breast cancer."

It made it real. I don't think I have ever cried so much as I did in that first week after diagnosis. Everyone was telling me it would be ok, I was so strong and so brave, but god I didn't feel it. I felt like everything was over.

The results were back quickly ER negative, PR negative, HER2 positive. But then another spanner was thrown in the works, those were the results from one of the tumours, the other two were triple negative. All words I’d never even come across, I didn’t realise there could be different types of breast cancer, let alone it being possible to have more than one type at once. This complicated things, as if things weren’t complicated enough. The two different types had different treatment courses that couldn’t be given simultaneously.

At first they suggested having surgery first, just cut it out, nice and simple then follow up with chemotherapy. They even suggested having surgery at the same time as I had a c-section to deliver my baby. I firmly told them no. I wanted to meet my baby, surgery could wait. However, as the oncologist had never come across another case of two types of cancer at once, we got a second opinion. The second opinion was that I should have chemotherapy first to nuke my system and hopefully any stray cancer cells along with it, followed by surgery.

It was agreed, chemo and then surgery. But first, I had to have my baby. I was 35 weeks pregnant by this time and it was decided that this was too early for the baby to come when we could afford to wait a couple of weeks to help his lungs mature. So, at 37 weeks I had a planned c-section and for a few moments as I held my gorgeous baby boy, the word cancer was forgotten about. It was just us and him. The staff were amazing and took incredible care of us until we went home.

Just four days later I had to go for my contrast scans that I couldn’t have while pregnant. Getting onto your front for a chest MRI, four days after having a c-section was not a fun experience, but it had to be done. My scans came back clear, there was no metastasis which was good news. We’d caught it early. I’d caught it early. I couldn’t help revisiting that moment and wondering what would have happened if I hadn’t gone back to the doctors. There was no use dwelling on it, I had done, this was the rollercoaster we were on and there was no getting off it.

Two weeks after giving birth I started chemotherapy. I lost all of my hair, I lost my taste and appetite, I lost 9 kilos (not including the weight of the baby!), I lost my spark. I was more fatigued than I thought possible, having to sit down to brush my teeth and have more naps in a day than my newborn was having. I could barely eat or drink, I couldn’t exercise, I could barely lift my baby out of his cot some days, let alone go out with him. When people say the usual “Oh, I bet these months have flown by!” in reference to the baby, they didn’t. These months dragged on and on, not because of him, he is a little star, but because my body was being poisoned. Chemotherapy is a funny drug. Funny in the sense that they hope it kills the cancer before it kills you.

My husband has been phenomenal. My family and friends have been so supportive. The midwives, obstetrics, labour ward, breast clinic and chemotherapy teams have been fantastic. I have been well looked after and I'm grateful for that.

It was a rollercoaster and not the fun kind. But it was worth it. All 3 tumours had a partial response to chemotherapy. Surgery was successful with clear margins and no lymph node involvement. Now I still have a year of treatment to go to make sure the bastard doesn’t come back, but it’s not as bad as the first lot and things are beginning to feel much more normal.

Thank you for bearing with me. I’ll try to make sure my next story is a bit more fun than this one.

06/04/2024

🌟It’s Stress Awareness Month 🌟

Let's chat about something that really hits home: grief and how it can affect our lives.

Stress touches more than half of us, with grief & loss playing a big part in that. Life has an unforgiving way of throwing us curveballs, doesn't it? Sometimes they really hurt, whether it's the death of a loved one, the end of a significant relationship (romantic or otherwise), or even saying goodbye to a cherished pet. Grief can really take a toll on us, both physically and mentally.

But here's the thing: it's okay to admit when things feel tough, to feel overwhelmed. When we're dealing with grief, it can leak over into every part of our lives, including our work. Stress levels can skyrocket, making it hard to concentrate and even harder to cope, especially when lack of sleep, fatigue, anxiety and depression join in on the battle! Let's not mention other people's judgement and expectations too. It can feel so lonely.

If you're going through a rough patch, please know it's okay to reach out for help to people you feel safe to talk to.

Let's create a safe space where we can talk openly about grief, where seeking support is encouraged.

Speaking of support, have you heard of The Grief Recovery Method? It's a powerful, life long, tool that helps us navigate life's losses, past and future, freeing us from the overwhelming emotions that keep us stuck.

If you're ready for the freedom to live the life YOU want to, having fond memories without the pain, then get in touch. Discover how it can change your life moving forward including richer and more valued relationships with those around you.

It's never too late to start your journey towards emotional recovery.

Get in touch to find out more to find out more:
☎️ 07434 860064
📧dinah@i-miss.co.uk

🌷

08/03/2024

As Mother's Day approaches, let's take a moment to acknowledge that this day can stir up a mixture of emotions for many of us. Whilst this beautiful occasion is to celebrate our mums and mother figures, for some, it can also bring up feelings of loss and longing for those who are no longer or have never been with us.

Grief has no rules and doesn't follow a schedule, so on days like these, it's okay to feel a bit tender.
Regardless whether it's been years or just yesterday, missing someone doesn't change as a result of time.

To all those who might be finding Mother's Day tough this year, know that there's support for you. Reach out to friends and family, and talk about the things you miss or don't miss too. Give yourself permission to feel whatever you're feeling.

For those friends and family, remember to be kind to those around us who might be struggling. A pair of heartfelt listening ears really goes a long way to making a difference to make someone struggling, feel a little less alone.

As we celebrate and appreciate our mothers, remember to hold some space for those who are navigating this day with a heavy heart.

Sending warmth and comfort to anyone who needs it. 💕

01/01/2024

🌟✨ As we step into 2024....What if this year, is about committing to emotional healing that becomes the key that unlocks the freedom to truly relish every moment of life? 🤔💫

Let's embark on this journey together, prioritising your emotional healing, and embracing life's joys wholeheartedly!

Here's to a year of recovery from painful emotional, growth, and living life to the fullest! 🌟✨