Look After Yourself LN5

02/12/2025

LN5 studio gets a revamp (well, just a clean and reorganise to be fair) on a 7 client day between clients! Tomorrow will be mostly about training in it and resting 🤪

25/11/2025

A very good book!!

There are certain books that don’t just meet you, they confront you, and this one did exactly that. I remember looking for something that could help me understand the silent weight the body carries, the weight we rarely acknowledge because we’ve grown too used to functioning through stress. When I clicked play, Daniel Maté’s calm narration blended so well with his father’s piercing honesty that it felt as if I was being invited into a very intimate conversation. Before long, I wasn’t just listening to a book, I was listening to my own life being explained back to me with clarity and compassion.

1. The body keeps a perfect record, even when the mind tries to forget: Listening to Gabor Maté describe how the body stores unspoken stress felt like a mirror being placed in front of me. He explains that the body never lies, it responds faithfully to every unexpressed emotion, every swallowed anger, every moment we pretend to be fine. The narration made it painfully clear that suppressing pain doesn’t erase it, it simply relocates it into the body’s tissues, organs, and immune system. What we refuse to confront consciously will eventually surface physically, and the body will insist on being heard.

2. Chronic illness often begins with chronic self-neglect: One of the strongest messages that stood out for me is how many people who develop serious illnesses have a lifelong pattern of pleasing others at the expense of themselves. Maté’s examples of patients who could never say “no,” even when their health was failing, were both heartbreaking and familiar. As Daniel narrated, it felt like listening to the quiet tragedies of people who had never been taught that their own needs mattered. Illness, in many cases, becomes the body’s final attempt to force the person to rest, to stop, to choose themselves.

3. Stress is not defined by what happens to us, but by what happens within us: This lesson shifted something in me deeply. Maté explains that stress is not about the external event but about whether we feel supported, safe, and emotionally held as we move through it. Two people can experience the same situation and have completely different physiological reactions. Hearing this in the audiobook made me understand that hidden stress is not always loud, sometimes it is quiet, polite, and buried, yet it damages the body all the same.

4. Emotional repression is learned, and it can be unlearned: Throughout the book, Maté makes it clear that many of the coping patterns that harm us were formed in childhood when we had no choice but to adapt for survival. Some of us learned to stay quiet, to not make trouble, to be “good,” to take care of others before ourselves. These habits follow us into adulthood and eventually turn into illness when they conflict with our true needs. The author’s narration reassured me that although these patterns run deep, they are not destiny. Awareness is the doorway to healing.

5. Saying “yes” too often is a slow form of self-abandonment: Maté gives striking examples of patients who were so committed to being indispensable that they ignored every warning signal their bodies gave them. He shows how a lifetime of overextending oneself, refusing boundaries, and constantly prioritizing others can lead to autoimmune disorders, cancer, and neurological diseases. The audiobook makes this lesson feel very personal because the tone is gentle yet firm. The real danger is not in being kind but in being unable to say “no” even when everything inside is begging us to stop.

6. The body demands authenticity, not perfection: One of my favorite insights is that healing does not come from becoming the “ideal” version of ourselves, but from becoming the honest version. Maté emphasizes that pretending to be okay, pretending to be strong, pretending not to hurt, pretending to cope, all create internal conflict. The body, he says, is always pushing us toward what is real. Listening to this in Daniel’s warm voice made the message settle deeper. Authenticity is not selfishness, it is medicine.

7. Healing begins the moment we give ourselves permission to feel: The final lesson that stayed with me is the power of emotional awareness. Maté teaches that our feelings are not the problem, it is the suppression of those feelings that harms us. Allowing ourselves to grieve, to feel anger, to acknowledge fear, and to rest is not weakness, it is wisdom. The audiobook ends with a tone that feels almost like an invitation, reminding me that healing is not a dramatic event but a slow, deliberate return to myself. When the body says no, it is not punishing us, it is trying to protect us.

Book/Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3X85Get

You can access the audiobook when you register on the Audible platform using the l!nk above.

24/11/2025

What we often label as “disrespect” is usually a sign of something far deeper — a person quietly revealing the limits of their emotional capacity. Most people will never say, “I cannot love you the way you desire to be loved.” But their behavior tells the truth long before their words do.

When someone repeatedly dismisses your feelings, avoids accountability, or becomes defensive whenever you express a need, they’re not just being “difficult.” They’re communicating from the level of their nervous system. Their reactions show you exactly where their emotional bandwidth ends. Their behavior becomes the boundary they do not have the skill or courage to verbalize.

But here’s the part many of us ignore:

Your nervous system notices the shift long before your mind catches up.

Your body tightens around them.
Your energy becomes unsettled.
You find yourself bracing, shrinking, or overthinking — not because you’re “too sensitive,” but because your system has already recognized the truth:
“This connection no longer feels emotionally safe.”

Yet, so many of us override these internal warnings.

Why?
Because our earliest emotional wounds taught us to work harder when love feels inconsistent. We learned to chase potential, to downplay our needs, to hope that if we just love better, show up better, or try harder, the relationship will magically become safe.

But healing — real healing — begins when you shift the question from:

❌ “Why are they doing this to me?”
to
✔️ “What is this doing to me — emotionally, mentally, energetically?”

That’s the moment you stop negotiating with someone else’s limitations and start honoring your own emotional truth. That’s the moment you choose safety, clarity, and self-respect over the fantasy of who someone could become.

Your nervous system has been speaking.
It’s time to listen.

22/11/2025

Ladies over 30 that train regularly or want to safeguard and future proof their bodies (use it or lose it!) please watch this. Link in comments.

Powerlifting is powerful for us!
Dr. Stacy Sims 🙏🏻
Mel Robbins 🙏🏻

15/11/2025

14/11/2025

Therapist turns therapoet
Hope this maybe resonates or helps ❤️🙏🏻

Sometimes I get asked why did you become a therapist and my answer can vary day to day but in a nutshell it’s this

I’ve learned to dance a different dance to the one I got taught, although I don’t always maintain the awareness to remember to change the steps.

It’s a rare and insanely satisfying privelege to be able to sit opposite the chair I once used to occupy and facilitate a safe space for often troubled souls to teach themselves that they too can change the steps in their own dance.

Sometimes, however, I still get my dance wrong and recently I have found (thanks to an inspiring and wonderful friend and fellow therapist) that writing has helped so……here goes!

Healing

The painful learning, the rawness of growing the mastering of not showing the pain of rejections that seem so real,

The flavours that went before showing up at every door, is this. Nothing or something more is the pain real, what’s the deal

Developmental trauma, written across your nervous system like the words in a seaside rock, manifesting as traits of neurodivergence, affecting relationships everyday, hindering connections, if you allow it, like a road block

Learning the art of making generous assumptions isn’t an easy task, finding the strength to glance in the mirror to instead question yourself is often a big ask

Hypervigilance exists from a lifetime of fight or flight, but attention deficit and hyperactivity shows when viewed in the world’s generic light

How do we know what is what?
Can trauma be the explanation when spectrum traits open more doors, are the topics that remain hot!

Maybe the pain dissolving can lead to the evolving required to alter the exit through the door that’s revolving

Let them, let me, Mel Robbins states clearly, but emotional boundarying isn’t that easy, is it, really?

Authentic connection when rarely found can feel like a warm blanket, a tight hug, a reprieve from your amygdala, that old guard dog hound

Those old neural pathways aren’t easily avoided against the backdrop of every day life, it often feels easier to hide away, avoid the world, simply dodge the strife

So what’s the solution to this never ending question, take it or leave it here is a suggestion

Make every effort to keep your side of the street clean, be authentic, be kind and avoid being mean

Own your insecurities with those you can trust, hope your connections are true and just

Let those that aren’t simply fade away, have patience and gratitude for those that stay

Healing can feel lonely but try not to feel sad, connecting with yourself is part of the journey, it’s not always bad

Find compassion for your inner child who didn’t get what they need, don’t be your own worst enemy, sit with acceptance and plant the following seed

Based mostly on experience here is part of my how, pour into your own cup first before others. Presence is everything, sit gently in the here and now,

Breath deeply when required to calm an unexpected storm, look after yourself, make that the new daily norm

Quit vying for attention which when lacking leaves your insides crying, no more of that trying, to fit in, lacking authenticity while your sense of self is simultaneously dying, understand that the piece of s**t that your brain can sometimes be, while you stop with the sighing, is simply, following your pre-programmed nervous system and is in fact straight up to your face sometimes just out and out lying!

So that’s it in a nutshell, healing, for free, for what it’s worth, according to me.

Presence and self care might just be the chip shot you need to get your ball out of the rough.

Stop doing. Stop trying.
You’re good. You’re enough.

13/11/2025

I cannot begin to describe the pride and joy I feel watching this.

Way back when we sat in my office talking about what brings her joy neither of us could have ever imagined what an amazing community she was capable of building.

THIS is my awesome client having looked in the mirror and finally begun to see what we see in her and realising it in a way that helps so many people.

You are an inspiration!
Well done!

05/11/2025

Trust ❤️

09/10/2025

A fantastic chance for some Christmas family photos for all the family.
Lots of venues and opportunities just reach out through Pete’s page 😍

We are about to start the first Christmas shoot of the year here at Waddington Children’s Centre. This is the set-up for this year!

Mums, Dads, carers, you are all more than welcome to have your photos done too! In fact, I encourage it!!

I hope to see you soon!!

30/09/2025

Irvin Yalom.🙏🏻
A kind and most profoundly empathic therapeutic genius
(if there is such a thing), sharing this world with a man such as this is a privelege.

If you have ever thought of delving into his writing I can highly recommend, amongst his many incredible works, Love’s Executioner. More pass time comfort read than many of his amazing educational works and a brilliant read! 🙏🏻❤️🥰