16/09/2024
Recently, while sitting in a café with friends, I heard someone say, "I've earned this cake." It got me thinking about how, from a young age, we're taught to "earn" things—love, praise, money.
A little while ago, our family welcomed a new baby, Sofia. I often tell her, "You’re so beautiful, the best little girl in the world!" But then I remember how, when we were children, we were told, "You shouldn't praise a child too much, or you'll jinx them." We were made to believe that love and praise had to be earned. When we behaved "badly," we were deprived of love: punished or sent to our rooms. When we were "good," we were rewarded with hugs, gifts, and praise. We started to believe that love was something to be earned, and that being "convenient" was the way to be loved.
This belief—that everything in life must be earned—follows us into adulthood. We think that for everything—love, money, respect—we have to be "good enough" to deserve it. "I haven't earned this money." "I need to work for it." With these beliefs, we often push away what we want because we feel we're not worthy of it.
In my work with clients in therapy, I often see how these childhood beliefs affect their lives. They strive to earn love and success, but keep encountering limitations. Using Access tools, we begin to change this. Clients learn to receive love, money, and other benefits without feeling the need to earn them. And, simply, they learn to love themselves without judgement.
After our sessions, they start recognising their true value and stop holding themselves back.
What if it’s not about earning at all? What if we can simply choose and receive?
And what if you started saying to yourself:
"I love you."❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
"You deserve the best."🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
