13/01/2026
Quiet Reflection 🧐
In my work with children, I’m often referred those described as “angry”, “explosive”, or “dysregulated”.
And so often, when we slow things down, what I see underneath isn’t anger at all — it’s anxiety.
When a child’s nervous system is in fight, flight or freeze, their behaviour is doing the communicating for them. Their body is saying “this feels too much” long before words are available.
This is especially true for many neurodivergent children.
Children with ADHD and/or autism often experience:
• heightened sensory input
• faster emotional overwhelm
• difficulty identifying and expressing internal states
• developing social and communication skills that don’t always keep pace with their emotional experience
When anxiety rises, their ability to pause, reflect, or make sense of what they’re feeling drops away. What’s left is action — shouting, shutting down, lashing out, running away.
This is why, in my work, regulation always comes before therapy.
Before insight.
Before behaviour strategies.
Before “talking it through”.
My first task is to help the child’s nervous system feel safe enough to settle — through pacing, attunement, predictability, and connection. Only then can therapeutic work begin.
When we lower anxiety, we don’t just reduce challenging behaviour —
we create space for learning, emotional language, social understanding, and self-trust to grow.
And perhaps most importantly, we help children move from “something is wrong with me” to “something happened in my body — and it can be understood.”
That shift changes everything 🧡